Tiddles the Mutineering Cat â€“ Part 4 The Merchant Menace: Attack of the Tiddles
Thus it came to pass that Tiddles was now the sole skipper of the Arghhh 9000. And Tiddles and his Bilge Rats did thus abandon Capn DaveL and his stunned crew on a sandy island in the Mediterranean to fend for themselves. â€˜Oâ€™ill get you Tiddles!!â€™ screamed DaveL as the Arrghhh 9000 disappeared over the horizon.
Now with Miao See Tung (MST) by his side, Tiddles was indeed a very happy ole tomcat!! Miao had been busy renovating the Argghh 9000, already complaining that too many men aboard had made it all swarthy lookinâ€™. She took to refurbishing their Captain's cabin with great zeal, while Tiddles stood at the wheel.
The Arghhh 9000 Jolly Roger was replaced with a cats skull and the main sail had a large cat, with the slogan sayin' â€˜Donâ€™t feed me plain cat foodâ€™ emblazoned on it.
The Bilge Rats for their mutinous part were promised great reward. A ship, the â€˜Bella Rosaâ€™ laden with fine gourmet produce was to set sail from the port of Marseille. Tiddles had word â€˜Bella Rosaâ€™ was to sail unescorted to Rotterdam, where it would supply the courts of Europe with fine gourmet produce. A 30% cut was promised for continued Bilge Rat loyalty. Tiddles would turn a fine profit selling the remainder on the black market.
Tiddles rerouted the Argghh 9000 to the south of France to intercept the â€˜Bella Rosaâ€™. On board the complacent Bella Rosa crew were busy drinking red wine from the bottle and cutting baguettes with their daggers. In the shining moonlight a cat with glowing red eyes stood strutting tall on the bow. â€˜Hand over your produce or weâ€™ll send you to the bottom Sirâ€™ said Tiddles to the Captain.â€™ Captain Marcel Bespignon sniggeredâ€¦â€™Soh whose eez er nice leetle poosie then? â€˜Ere keety keety keety! The entire crew burst into laughter.
â€˜SHUT YOUR TRAP MERCHANTMEN. NOW GIVE ME YOUR FINEST CHEESE OR YOUR ALL DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!!! screamed Tiddles.
Authors Note: Tiddles is scary when angry. In fact very, very scary!
The Bella Rosa crew scurried quickly to open the hatches laden with fine produce. Just then the Bilge Rats swooped from ropes onto the decks. Bugsy Bilge Rat said â€˜Holey schmoley, I ainâ€™t eaten anything like this beforeâ€™ Left Bilge Rat replied â€˜Do you think those Frenchies have any Alka Seltzer?
The entire stores of the Bella Rosa were emptied. â€˜Now get in your life boats Mon Ami's, your ship is descending to a watery grave.â€™ Tiddles lit a fuse to a powder keg, which was descended below the deck. â€˜Adieu, Bonsoir! said Tiddles, dipping his hat and swinging from a rope, where he returned to the Arghh 9000.
The French crew scrambled madly ran for their life boats, while others dived over the sides. Within 30 seconds the fuse had reached itâ€™s explosive destination â€“ KABOOM!!
â€˜I weel get yer Teedles!! screamed Captain Bespignon.
Tiddles life of evil had taken a new turn. As he surveyed the carnage from his main deck. As the Bella Rosa sunk to the bottom he laughed maniacly MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
The Bilge Rats began eating some delicious Brie, with nice crackers and a Bordeaux wine. â€˜These are high times indeed!' said Shifty Bilge Rat.
Tiddles life of crime on the high seas began in earnest. But his promise to spare the Bella Rosa in exchange for booty was broken. When the survivors returned to Marseille, word of his crime spread like wild fire. There was now a price on his head. FOR TIDDLES WAS A MARKED OLE PUSS!!