The beer volcano

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The beer volcano

Postby daniel on Mon May 29, 2006 12:39 am

Apologies if this has been discussed before. But this seems like an important issue:

The stuff that comes out of normal volcanos here on earth is very very hot. It's so hot you cannot touch it, much less drink it.

Does the beer come out of the beer volcano hot? Or cold? Since it began as an earthly beer volcano before the FSM moved it to heaven, I am very concerned that the beer in heaven might be hot. That would be very disappointing. I mean, to die and have to drink scalding hot beer for all eternity.
Daniel

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Postby Alpaca on Mon May 29, 2006 1:04 am

Eep! I'd hope not!

The FSM has prepared a heaven to reward His followers, or at least all those deserving. C'mon... He'd have to make the reward good, no? I'm sure it's cold.

Unless, of course, you like boiling hot beer, in which case I'm sure He's forseen some sort of accomodation for you.
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Postby Griffin on Mon May 29, 2006 6:02 am

There is a splinter group here who believe that what emerges from the beer volcano instantly becomes your beverage of choice. I would encourage you to deal with your fear as there is the potential for you to receive cold beer if you approach the beer volcano with confidence but a risk that your fear may result in a self fulfiiling prophecy. I can recommend the book Feel the fear and Do it Anyway.
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Postby daniel on Tue May 30, 2006 10:29 am

I'm not afraid. I was just concerned. Once I get there I presume the body language of the people in front of me at the beer volcano will tell me if the beer is scalding or cold. But I'm hoping that time will be far in the future, and in the mean time I wanted a clarification. After all, there are so many religions to choose from. I've invented three of them myself.

BTW, I have on numerous occasions done things I was utterly terrified of. I have scrambled up the sides of mountains where I was positive (due to my poor balance) that I would fall off; I have ridden a hang-glider; I have climbed the rigging of a tall ship at sea in a moderate swell, in spite of my almost-paralysing fear of heights; etc. I do not let my fear stop me, as long as my head tells me that what I am about to do is basically pretty safe.
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Postby Ezkerraldean on Tue May 30, 2006 11:30 am

its not a volcano, its a geyser! like the nitrogen geysers on triton - its extra chilled.
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Postby boghog on Tue May 30, 2006 12:31 pm

Griffin wrote:There is a splinter group here who believe that what emerges from the beer volcano instantly becomes your beverage of choice.

The vision in my own head is between the two main schools of thought. I see several vents on the Beer Volcano as you approach the summit - the main crater at the top has the most popular beer, but other more flavorful beers of all desired temperatures spew forth from smaller vents that ring the volcano. There's one for cold Czech pilsener, another for cellar-temperature brown ale, and even one for ice cold American light beer that people drink (inexplicably) in frozen mugs, and around the back of the volcano near the base, there's a garden where wheat beer and Belgian lambic are magically mixed with different fruits and berries to make framboise, kriek and all the rest of the rainbow of fruit beers.
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Postby The Meromorph on Tue May 30, 2006 12:35 pm

This is the kind of Diversity I can happily celebrate! :fsm_rock:
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Postby Zen on Tue May 30, 2006 12:51 pm

Will we have nuts & pretzels? Oh yeah, and quesadillas?

Mmm, I shouldn't be posting near lunch time. Soooo hungry...
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Postby daniel on Wed May 31, 2006 2:17 pm

boghog wrote:... I see several vents on the Beer Volcano as you approach the summit ...

Excellent solution! Of course a volcano can have multiple vents. I'll be heading for the non-alcoholic-beer vents myself. I love the taste of beer but really don't like what alcohol does to my brain.
Daniel

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