The Tale of...'The Parrot's Foot'.
I used to wear a parrots foot as a lucky charm and for many years it hung around my neck on a silver chain. One stormy night many years ago, when I were a lowly ships cookâ€™s assistantâ€™s assistant, I took a stroll on deck to get some clean air arter bein in the galley makin Fish Stew all day.
I sees one of the crew bent over the side chunderin like a parrot. YYAARR says I weâ€™re havin a bit of a Sow westerly tonightâ€¦
â€™nothing â€¦blurghâ€¦to doâ€¦blurghâ€¦with theâ€¦bluuuurghâ€¦weather,â€™says he, â€˜itâ€™s that darned Fish stewâ€¦bluuuuuuuuuurgh!â€™
Suddenly the ship lurched violently to starboard and we were both thrown over board. The ship had been struck by an enormous Squid whose tentacles had wrapped themselves around the Focsle. Splutterin and gaspin for breath we looked up to see the monster grapple the ship and in a terrifyin spectacle, both ship and squid disappeared beneath the waves.
Doomed to a watery grave we were tossed around in the sea and our lives flashed before our eyes. I saw glimpses of my lovely Pir-gella with neâ€™r a hope to see her agin. The other chap saw a flash back of a big bowl of Fish Head Stew â€“ he choked and sank beneath the briny.
So there I wasâ€¦the only survivor, but for how long. Suddenly a great bubbling and gurgling came up from the depths and my first thought was that the poor buggers, stomachs filled with fish stew, had let off one final under water fart. My second thought was that the Giant Squid was coming back to claim the last survivor. But imagine my joy when up bobbed an enormous wooden chest. I clung on to the chest until the storm abated and eventually floated to safety on the coast of Java.
When I got ashore I opened up the chest and found it contained the captainâ€™s treasure â€“ I was alive and I was rich. I suddenly remembered the parrotâ€™s foot â€“ it still hung around my neck and I vowed to keep it there always. It didnâ€™t bring the parrot much luck though!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.