Ye lilly livered pansy! Ye not be fit ta lick ma mithers boots. Her boots aren't even noyce leather, thar scummy from walking around on the deck all day. Tha poop deck can get dreadfully smutty...what are ye doing here letting me baraid you! Go swap the poop deck, then lick ma mithers boots. They aven't been cleaned in a long while.
Let you be touched by his noodly appendage.