Question on Ordainment

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Question on Ordainment

Postby TDKs on Thu Dec 22, 2011 8:29 pm

I have been a long time quiet watcher of Pastafarianism, but I find it too good (and tasty) to resist any longer - and so I offer myself to join your colander. :lurk:

I do have a couple of questions, mostly simple technical stuff, as follows.

Once ordained, what is the title of said Pastafarian? My grandmother is a Catholic Deaconess, for example. (Never fear, I have a massively multicultural family, adding FSMism is going to be fine. I'm not going to get hit with a ruler. Not now, anyway.) I wondered what the official title for men/women/other would be?

What is/ is there a collective noun for pasta, and does it vary by type? For example, perhaps "a fist of spaghetti" as opposed to "a stack of lasagna"? I appreciate this probably isn't important, but good to know. My partner considers this a high priority however. :confused:

I wouldn't like to unwittingly offend any FSM member - what potholes should I be aware of, faux pas, as it were?
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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby Tigger_the_Wing on Fri Dec 23, 2011 5:47 am

No potholes, no faux pas. We have no dogma, loose morals and suggestions (the "I'd really rather you didn'ts") instead of commandments.

Pastafarianism as a movement doesn't mind what you call yourself or collections of pasta. Heck, it even accommodates rice noodles, and other gluten-free versions; also vegetarian and vegan 'meat'balls! :love:

I have a fun idea: why not ask your partner to come up with some collective names for you to share here? :zen:
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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby CCBarber on Fri Dec 23, 2011 4:40 pm

I've often pondered that first question myself after a friend of mine asked "so now that you're ordained, what do we call you?" I finally settled on simply "minister."
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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby TDKs on Sat Dec 24, 2011 7:11 pm

Oh good, I like rice noodles. And gnocci is already classified as a pasta despite being made of potato.

Extensive research into pasta forms suggests that acceptable collective nouns for a variety of pasta types would be "a packet of" or "a jar of". I feel this is lacking in romance - however, taking into account the sheer variety in pasta designs, it would make specializing a tad clunky. (Though I do like "a beach of conchiglie".)
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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby wite_lance on Thu Sep 13, 2012 12:44 pm

Why would you style you and your followers only on his noodliness, when you also have his chosen peoples (midgets and pirates) to choose from?

'Your Smallest' could be the formal reference for anyone ordained, with 'ships' (informal churches/pastafarian gatherings) of crewmen/scurvy dogs led by captains, mates, bosuns, etc.

Pirates and Buccaneers were after all the original spreaders of his noodly influence.
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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby Misfit-farian on Sat Sep 15, 2012 7:10 pm

I've wondered a few of the same questions as I plan on going down the same path. For a few reasons I must make sure I have all my info correct, one being a minister or "Captain" as I think I might refer to myself as and the other is if I'm able to present this in a legit way into the Marines I've got to be creditable..

SO.. I think I'm going with Captain for minister and crew for the congregation..
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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Sun Sep 16, 2012 11:34 am

What about a 'Pot & Colander' ministering to a 'Batch of Noodles'?

In the role of Pot, the minister heats up the water of life, introducing his Batch of Noodles to it, helping them lose their rigidity and inability to properly intermingle with each other.

In the role of Colander, the minister helps the Batch of Noodles by removing the hot water that surrounds them, preventing it from boiling them until they fall apart. The Batch of Noodles is nestled in the Colander, intermingling and sharing, becoming both a oneness and a collection of individuals acting in concert with each other.

Some of the Noodles in your Batch may be gluten-free. Some may be spicy. Some may be thin. Some may be bent. Some may be bowties. And once boiled and strained, they still retain these characteristics. It is the complexity of your Batch that gives it Flavor.

But if left uncooked, your Batch will be stiff, hard to digest, and unable to wrap around each other.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby Cardinal Fang on Sun Sep 16, 2012 1:13 pm

For ordained ministers, how about the title "Dave"?

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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby black bart on Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:43 am

Cardinal Fang wrote:For ordained ministers, how about the title "Dave"?

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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby Tigger_the_Wing on Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:54 am

I do believe that at least one ordained pastafarian goes by the title 'Monister'.
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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Mon Sep 17, 2012 10:26 pm

"Hey, you!" will probably also get the job done.
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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby TDKs on Sun Oct 07, 2012 2:51 pm

Wowee, you marvellous deck-hands!
Some great ideas in there... I'm loving your logic Rev.Redbeard.

And thank you Tigger - I think that solved my conundrum.

I've had some thoroughly entertaining arguments with certain believers of a man risen from the dead as to whether my religion is as valid as theirs lately, and being able to throw "Well, I'm an ordained minister - are you?" into the pot has been thoroughly useful.

My conversion rate is slow but steady - I'm not going to push people over the rim, because boiling water can look scary, but I'll certainly let them taste the sauce, as it were. :zen:
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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Sun Oct 07, 2012 3:40 pm

Regarding plurals: not really. Most names are already the Italian plural. Adding 'A piece of' in front of it is the most common way to denote a singular.

http://english.stackexchange.com/questi ... i-macaroni



However, that doesn't prevent us from making our own.


a Stack of Lasagna (noodle form)

a Bed of Lasagna (baked-dish form)

a Celebration of Farfalle (bowtie pasta)

a Hat of Macaroni

a Gloss of Udon

a Flourish of Fettuccine

a Mess of Spaghetti

a Nest of Angel Hair (also known as Capellini)

a Tunnel of Manicotti (large tubes)

a Tide of Conchiglie (Seashell pasta)
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby TDKs on Sun Oct 07, 2012 4:11 pm

Apologies, yes, I should have realised that they're technically plural (Alas, my aunt Anna would be rolling in her grave. Or at least, she'd have sworn at me. She was a cool Italian auntie.)

But I like your suggestions, particularly a "seabed of conchiglie"!
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Re: Question on Ordainment

Postby Orecchiette on Fri Oct 26, 2012 11:07 pm

More pasta plurals:

A volley of acini de pepe (also called ancini de pepe, "peppercorn" pasta used in soups and salads)

A pipe of canelloni

A tube of maccheroncelli

A gaggle of wontons

A pillowcase of ravioli :fsm_float:

A pocket of casunziei (or cansunziei)

A ream of rotolo

An earful of orecchiette
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