St. Matthew's Church of Propaganda Vs. Me

[capn stabby]

I got a letter recently from "Saint Matthew's Churches." The envelope contained many different things, among them a "Prophecy of God" that didn't predict anything at all, a "Blessed Prayer rug" that they wanted back, awful grammar, and many requests for a "Seed Gift," which is their way of saying that they want money. I sent them their pre-paid envelope back with an old FSM propaganda pamphlet and some dry noodles. I even signed it Krugnar H. Barbarian. I thought they would remove me from the mailing list, but today, I got another letter, this time with a little cross, a piece of paper they assure me is a Ribbon of Blessing, more begging for money, and a message that says that Jesus is walking past my window.

I don't know if I should do something mean, like forcing them to pay shipping on something worthless and heavy, or just keep being funny. This seemed like the best way to get an answer.

[ChowMein]

HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR har har , Oi perferrs humour meseffs , it be sooooo much moor fun fer human kind . ARRRRRRgh !

[Wawizzle]

a letter about getting a restraining order put on Jesus. He's always watching me, even when I go to the bathroom.

That is WAY to funny to pass up.

[LibraLabRat]

I chose Krugnar and Kobold Stabbin Knife.

They are not reading your messages anyway. They are just opening it, looking for a check or some cash, and sending another letter.

[Moral Minority]

Send them gay porn.

It's worth much more than money.

[Cardinal Fang]

I think more FSM leaflets... then FSM leaflets wrapped round a brick... then FSM leaflets wrapped round a watermelon... and so on.

Don't forget to make it so that they have to sign for the packages.

CF

[Josh M]

Send them gay porn.

It's worth much more than money.

That would probably do it.