The entire religion has been called into question

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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The entire religion has been called into question

Postby pir8lvr on Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:47 am

Take a look at http://abcnews.go.com/International/wir ... id=4107652

I used to be a true believer but now... well... I just don't know anymore.

The graph that had me sold [ http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/ ] just doesn't make sense anymore. Pirate attacks are up AND global temperature continues to rise? WTF? Up is down, black is white! The end be near!

Can someone from the church, who I should put my blind faith in, please explain this discrepancy to me?

Thanks,
FSM (Dis?????!?)Believer


edit: removed spammy links
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Postby DaveL on Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:19 am

YArrrrr...

Just say Arghhh and the rest will take care of itself.

BTW, what's with spammy links? If you are a bona fide forum member, I'd probably lose them, before the Admins see them.
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Postby Pirate Terramort on Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:19 am

Dearst Brethren,
Do not let these false pirates weaken your faith! This VERY question was answered in the Gospel of the FSM.

"Why do modern-day Pirate, sports teams called "Pirates," and Pirate costumes not affect Global wheather, given there is a stastically significant link between PIrate numbers and global tempurature?

Calling oneself a Pirate, or dressing up as one, does not make one a true Pirate, it takes much more. In what way are modern-day "Pirates," with their speedboats and machine guns, similar to the fun-loving adventurous buccaneers from history? How can sports teams, with their obsession over rules and regulations, claim to embody the mischevious spirit of the Pirate?"
(Gospel of the FSM, pg. 63)

Pirate attacks have no bearing on global tempurature. It is those who embody the spirit of the fun loving, cany giving, TRUE Pirate. In fact, Halloween was started because Pirates gave out candy to children! This little known fact has been masked by Christian zealots.

Sincerely,
Pirate Terramort, Th. D.
Sincerely,
Drew Anderson, Th. D.
Captain of the Birthday Massacre
High Magus of the Wise Council of World Pasta

If you love someone, set them free. If they return to you, put several 8 inch blades into their head. If they return again, then run.... Just RUN.

1st Nautilus 4:4 " For, in the words of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, “Don’t be a bitch. It’s not nice.” "
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Postby black bart on Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:25 am

Arrrr...there may ave been a slight rise in global temperatures t'other night when I fell off the bus on me way home from t'Admiral Benbow...I was nearly a gonner...one less pirate...but I recovered to be left with a twisted ankle!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby pir8lvr on Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:36 am

I'm sold. Where is the collection plate?
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Hat

Postby black bart on Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:10 pm

Arrrr...I'll leave me biggest hat outside The Admiral Benbow...all donashuns gratefully recieved.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby PantyGnawer on Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:07 am

PG sneaks in and steals all your rum
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