Do not let these false pirates weaken your faith! This VERY question was answered in the Gospel of the FSM.
"Why do modern-day Pirate, sports teams called "Pirates," and Pirate costumes not affect Global wheather, given there is a stastically significant link between PIrate numbers and global tempurature?
Calling oneself a Pirate, or dressing up as one, does not make one a true Pirate, it takes much more. In what way are modern-day "Pirates," with their speedboats and machine guns, similar to the fun-loving adventurous buccaneers from history? How can sports teams, with their obsession over rules and regulations, claim to embody the mischevious spirit of the Pirate?"
(Gospel of the FSM, pg. 63)
Pirate attacks have no bearing on global tempurature. It is those who embody the spirit of the fun loving, cany giving, TRUE Pirate. In fact, Halloween was started because Pirates gave out candy to children! This little known fact has been masked by Christian zealots.
Pirate Terramort, Th. D.
Drew Anderson, Th. D.
Captain of the Birthday Massacre
High Magus of the Wise Council of World Pasta
If you love someone, set them free. If they return to you, put several 8 inch blades into their head. If they return again, then run.... Just RUN.
1st Nautilus 4:4 " For, in the words of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, “Don’t be a bitch. It’s not nice.” "