A Piratey Bar Brawl Game

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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A Piratey Bar Brawl Game

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Sun Dec 09, 2007 12:02 pm

I came across this game whilst reading Terry Pratchett's 'Going Postal'. Ah, Ankh-Morpork. Where would the Discworld be without you? Anywho, basically it involves having a brawl, but with a scoring system. Try to keep it orderly, don't go over the top, blah blah blah. You get the point.

Here's the actions, their terminologies, and their points. Feel free to add your own, and when we have enough, we'll start.

Double Andrew: Two people back into each other, turn round to give the other guy a thumping, cue moment of humorous recognition, then link left arms, swing round and see to the other fellow's attacker, foot or fist, it doesn't matter. 15 Points.

Regulation Chandelier Swing: Leap off a high platform onto a chandelier, swing around, chandelier falls, knocks out two or three people, depending on the size. 8 Points.

Sneaky Brawl-Starter: Shoot ye pistol, pellet breaks some guy's drink, he turns around and hits the guy behind him. Usually associated with the beginning of a brawl, but can also be filtered in to start brawl with non-brawlers. 2 Points.

Knifeplay: Two pirates square off on the bar and engage in flashy knife/sword fighting. 4 Points.

Limb-Smack: After Knifeplay, if a limb is lost, the owner of the missing limb can pick it up and smack the other guy across the face with it. Always gets a laugh. Try and find a decent Igor to stitch it back together. 30 Points.

Regulatory Brawling: Punching, kicking, tackling. Each hit gets you one point.

Chair Swing: Grab a tough-looking chair, swing the chair over your head, hit Person 1, swing it the other way, hit Person two. Bang, crash. 6 Points.

Bottler: An old classic, the wielder smashes a bottle on the bar, (2 extra points if smashed over someone's head) leaving a broken bottle, and lunging into the fray, gouging as many stomachs as you can.

Midget Ear Swing: Grab a small person/dwarf by the ears, hoist him into the air, and propel him through the closest table. 4 Points.

Leap Tackle: Jump off a high platform and tackle those below. 2 Points.

Axe Throw: Throw an axe at someone. Pretty simple. 2 Points.

Hot Food: Throw some hot food. 3 Points if you can get your hands on hot soup.

Okay, your turn. Invent your own, and then when we seem to have enough moves, we'll start. Oh, I forgot, only one move per post, unless you're going for a combo that makes sense.
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cronan gambit

Postby black bart on Mon Dec 10, 2007 6:38 pm

Arrrr, thar be the 'Look there's Cap'n Cronan gambit'.

Ye shouts 'Look thars Cap'n Cronan" and when yer foe turns ta look in fear, ye wallop im with a large bottle (empty o course).
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Postby ChowMein on Mon Dec 10, 2007 8:42 pm

Ye use thee , 'snotty fingers' , ye reach o'er thee top ove 'is 'ead an' hook 'is nose ta giva a good yank .
Quote :" ARRR! GAGAGAGA ! , ...de sailin' loife fer me. ARR! GAGAGAGAGa....arr gagaga.....a...". (Popeye The Sailor)
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Hook

Postby black bart on Mon Dec 10, 2007 8:46 pm

Arrrrr...I almost forgot:

The Hook up the Nose move...very painful and effective as demonstrated by yours truly...Left Hook or Right Hook...it don't really matter.
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:37 am

Scalding Tea In The Face
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
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Postby OZ_Nick on Tue Dec 11, 2007 12:39 pm

Accidentally slice your opponent down the middle with you cutlass: 10 points
----

Ye may knowe mee better as Cap'n Bluenose
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Pie

Postby black bart on Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:25 pm

The 'Redde Cowwe Pie' attack:

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Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:01 pm

And then there's the ol' Bash Stuff With Umbrella, courtesy of Britney SpAAARRRSSSS! Ten Points, plus five more if you can flash a bunch of journalists at the same time.

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Long Winded

Postby black bart on Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:00 pm

The 'Long Winded Tale' attack:

Ye repeat one of Walktheplank's Long Winded tales until yer opponent falls harmlessly asleep...probably wont wake up for hours giving ye plenty o toim to escape with the booty...50 points.
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Postby The Black Spot on Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:40 pm

Ye Arseburn O'Leary "Silent But Deadly" gas attack.

Disable yer opponent wi' a huge, acidic trouser cough. This strips the linin' from yer foe's lungs, renderin' 'im elpless.

Unfortunately, this be a weapon o' last resort as it affects everyone within a twenty yard radius.

Zero points (we don't want to encourage this sort o' thing).
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Postby anthrobabe on Sat Dec 22, 2007 11:47 pm

The "Cutlass Supreme"

Reach around from behind and grasp pirates cutlass firmly (not that one ye gits -the knify one!) while distracting pirate with a well placed knee in the kidneys-- as pirate reaches to grab his back/kidney area quickly yank on the cutlass and whirl the pirate around to face you and plant a good one in the nadgers...
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Kidney

Postby black bart on Thu Jan 03, 2008 6:57 pm

anthrobabe wrote:The "Cutlass Supreme"

Reach around from behind and grasp pirates cutlass firmly (not that one ye gits -the knify one!) while distracting pirate with a well placed knee in the kidneys-- as pirate reaches to grab his back/kidney area quickly yank on the cutlass and whirl the pirate around to face you and plant a good one in the nadgers...


Arrrrrgh...a good gambit thar Anthrobabe...only one slight flaw...none of us ave got any kidneys or livers left!
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Postby PantyGnawer on Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:08 am

PG sneaks in and steals all your rum
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