Oi mus' tell ye, me mates, that oi bin runnin a grass-roots campayne fer Pope sins oi be a wee pyrate lass.
Oi has had me Pope name all picked out sins forf grade.
Oi (still!) has thee perfick hair fer settin off thee papal tiara.
Oi probully wood trade in them stoopid red Pravda pumps an replace 'em wif me oan, hextensive sho wardrobe. A pope in cavalier boots wiv stiletto heales fer visitin ovver countrees: now, that be werf a red carpet!
Oi has secured support thee support ov peeps all over thee knoan werlde, an has me "Papal Cabinet" almost reddy-to-go. There do be a few hopenins in thee cowledge ov carrrdinals, ifin henny ov ye be innerested. Oi am not aware ov any presepps hagainst bein a pyrate carrrdinal.
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TPBM is even now writin a happlicashun fer the Cowledge ov Pyrate Carrrdinals...
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens