Show us yer big cannon!

[tanguerra]

When an hentire voyage could go by with barely a word hexchanged between the decks and the Captain's cabin...

Aye, keep aloof they said, an yer men will fear ye...

I tried that tack...four days went by and then I had ta shout "Where's me bleedin breakfast yer filthy blaggards!" That's was it then, I was jabberin loik a Kittyhawk: "I wants two sausages, where's me black sausage? what appened to me fried bread? These beans are movin, where'd ye get these mushrooms from, nice bacon...but hang on a minute, we aint got a pig!

...and so on and so forth.

Yaar har har! Captain Bart, I know exactly what ye be meanin'. Sunrise ter sun down I'm havin' ter do nothin but give the most minute of instructions to the crew. It's all "No, a bit more ter the left, up a bit, down a bit - yaaar! That's the spot!" and that's just getting me parasol arranged proper over the breakfast table.

[black bart]

Harrrr...that remoinds me of the toim when I were 'briefly' Captain of 'The Raging Queen Anne's Revenge', a ship devoted almost hentirely to the traffickin of Haut Couture. I shouted out "Man Overboard"...and the crew all simpered: "Oooh...you can talk captain with your big Frilly shirts and glitzy eye patch...I think we'll be the judge of who's gone 'Overboard!'

They were a lovely lot actually but I tended to stay in me cabin most o the toim. I kept a photo of em to remind me of those crazy days:

[Clifford]

for you Bart

[tanguerra]

Here be a nice one I came across recently. I found it in an (er) antique shop. Twere a steal the price I got it for, yez can bet your little cotton socks on that.

While we're in dry dock I'm having it refurbished, clean off that bit of patina there, polish up the brass work. Soon it will take pride of place on the Purple Primrose, and be striking terror into the hearts of lubbers everywhere. Yaaar!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

It looks like he regurgitated some of last nights curry over the cannon. But O'id hate to be in the way when he starts regurgin' cannon balls though.

[black bart]

Bah...I think she got it from Arrrrrrgos...ye could use it ta light yer pipe.

[The Black Spot]

I thinks 'ees 'ad a backfire. It looks like 'is brains be coming out is ear'ole.

[black bart]

Looks loik someone's annoyed Big Brenda again:

[The Black Spot]

Looks loik someone's annoyed Big Brenda again:

Arrrr... that be a unique picture, as it shows 4 o' Planky's wigs. She has one in each hand, one on her 'ead, an she be standin on the fourth.

[black bart]

Arrrr, that fourth wig be Planky's 'Grassy Knoll' wig what he uses for assassinations and hidin from the Revenue Men...

...ave a butchers at this luverly picture...can ye spot Planky hidin in it?

[Clifford]

er ... under that hat on the floor?

[The Black Spot]

Arrrr, that fourth wig be Planky's 'Grassy Knoll' wig what he uses for assassinations and hidin from the Revenue Men...

...ave a butchers at this luverly picture...can ye spot Planky hidin in it?

Arrr... I thinks Plank be hidin in the rafters. Ye can see 'is wig at the top o' the picture. Ye can also see a pot o' glue that's bin knocked over near the barrel. An that fierce lookin' geezer wi' the skirt just hast to be Cap'n DaveL.

[black bart]

Shiver me Dry Rot infested timbers Black Spot...ye has eyes loik a Sea eagle ...it must be all them curried carrots ye've been eatin!

[Clifford]

Where did I say that you looked like Ian Hislop in your last avatar Black Bart? Never mind, I say it again - you looked like Ian Hislop.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Feelin' lucky, punk? Well? Are ya?