Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Do you Talk Like a Land Lubber?

Yes always, except when I'm on the internet
13
21%
Yarrr, yeah before Oi wuz ship-napped
18
29%
No-ho-ho ye scruffy bag-o-weevils
32
51%
 
Total votes : 63

Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby Roland Deschain on Thu Jun 28, 2012 6:33 am

I was once led to believe that we were all tiffin mad, then sanity struck me, and one realised that tiffin is the high point of one's cultural superiority. :drinking:

These sources of depravity you speak of, young man. Would you be so kind as to send some my way? Enquiring minds do so enjoy new experiences. :lech:
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby The Black Spot on Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:34 am

Ah yes, I'm always up for a bit of tiffin. Just ask the parlourmaid.

But as Sir Bart said earlier, one must ensure that one's house is in good order. It's common knowledge that I'm always on top of my staff.
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby black bart on Thu Jun 28, 2012 10:42 am

Indeed Lord Spot but as pertainin the forthcoming Olympiad, I'm happy to hear BlackSpot Hall is hosting the ladies beach volley ball but I wondered if I might offer my Lower Stables as a venue for the Ladies All In Mud Wrestling what ho.
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby The Black Spot on Fri Jun 29, 2012 7:21 am

A marvelous idea, Sir Bart. I too am thinking about leaving a sporting legacy that will linger after the Olympics. I was pondering the idea of setting up an academy for naked trampolining or perhaps topless canoeing. Nothing is too much trouble for the young ladies.
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby DaveL on Fri Jun 29, 2012 6:12 pm

That sounds awfully sporting and charitable of you Lord Spot. I recall during my Grand Tour, that the Ancient Greeks were quite minimalist in the clothing stakes for their Olympiads. They wore nothing but a coat of olive oil. It must have been incredibly warm weather back then, as a sudden change in the weather would have made competing a trite uncomfortable.

The nude Olympics would indeed be a fine pursuit, although some sports may require a bit of getting used to.
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby Roy Hunter on Sat Jun 30, 2012 6:06 pm

Surely, Sir Dave and Lord Spot, classics scholars that you are you will remember that gymnasium means 'place of nakedness'? Why it only stands to reason that the Olympics could and should return to its traditions. The young ladies of the Beach Volleyball events could surely do the decent thing and set an example at this year's London 2012 tournament?
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby Roland Deschain on Sun Jul 01, 2012 6:12 am

One is forced to concur in the spirit of charity, chivalry, and historicity. Gentlemen such as ourselves are terribly hard to come by in this modern age of the wireless and new-fangled gadgetry. One is taking a stand in favour of the aforementioned qualities.
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby black bart on Thu Jul 05, 2012 9:14 am

As much as one adores the Olympiad one finds oneself equally drawn to the All England lawn tennis and Croquet Club at this time of year. Indeed you can often catch a glimpse of Lady Bart and oneself hard at it on the lawns afront Bartchester Hall of evening.
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby The Black Spot on Fri Jul 06, 2012 5:19 am

My word, Sir Bart. It seems we are indeed like minded individuals. Over the past few days, I have been acquiring an increased appetite for lawn tennis myself. You are quite likely to find me on the grass, balls in hand, asking one of the young ladies if she'd like me to give her a service.

A simply splendid game.
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby black bart on Fri Jul 06, 2012 8:10 am

How spiffing...do you favour the overarm or the underarm method?
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby DaveL on Fri Jul 06, 2012 6:37 pm

Me Lords and Ladies there appears to be a gentleman at the door, a 'Mr K.O'Shuffle'. He appears to be a handy man of some repute. Are there any small jobs we may provide him?
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby The Black Spot on Sun Jul 08, 2012 1:20 pm

Yes, Sir Dave. A curious fellow, this Mr O'Shuffle.

A couple of the maids were on leave, and so I engaged him to help out in the kitchen. The cook was making a Sticky Toffee Pudding for dessert and she was having some difficulty removing it from the baking tin. Seeking assistance, she called out "Mr O'Shuffle! Will you give the pudding a pull please?"

Cook swears that she'll never be able to look at a tin of squirty cream again.
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 09, 2012 7:55 am

Indeed Lord Spot, one has to be especially careful of whom one invites to dinner. A couple of years ago one was interested in getting a foothold into the lucrative cattle and beef trade over in the Americas, and to further this end one had, as a guest, a top Texan Cattle Millionaire. One has the great misfortune of having a very loud and uncouth Welsh relative and Sir Delwyn ap Llaffllanaffgyllaffnaff Griffiths was also invited to dinner on this occasion. When he came to dine Sir Delwyn always insisted on being served the most dreadful Welsh muck but on the occasion of our esteemed Texan guest the cook had forgotten about Sir Delwyn and served as the main course a rather fine Beef Wellington. Sir Delwyn jumped up out of his seat and shouted: "Where are my faggots...I want my faggots...give my my faggots now!" The Texan looked aghast and said: "It aint that sort of beef that I'm supplyin!"
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby The Black Spot on Thu Jul 12, 2012 6:54 am

Indeed, good Sir, indeed. It would seem that meal preparation in fraught with all manner of difficulties. Take the other day for example; after the rather unfortunate incident in the kitchen, the butler detailed Mr O'Shuffle to help the gamekeeper.

The local village fete was taking place in the grounds, and the gamekeeper was gathering some fowl for that evenings banquet. He needed someone to help wring the necks of the birds, and so he handed over a bird to Mr O'Shuffle and said "You there. Choke the chicken, will you."

When all the pandemonium had died down a bit, the vicar flatly refused to judge the yoghurt tasting competition, and the mayor's wife is expected to regain conciousness in the next day or so.
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Re: Talk Like A Landlubber Day - Sept 20

Postby DaveL on Thu Jul 12, 2012 8:30 am

Awfully unfortunate there Lord Sport. Why I hear Mr O'Shuffle is quite good at collecting wild foods from the forest. In fact my house maid last week maid caught Mr O'Shuffle 'picking mushrooms' behind a big tree. She was so shocked that she has retired ill to her cottage for the unforeseeable future!
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