pieces o'nine wrote:Zounds! And sink me if the Gameskeeper isn't trying to pass himself off as Laird Roy! Can anyone decipher what the cheeky fellow is blathering on about?
I have some experience with these drunken transvestites. My parentage is half from there (fortunately, I got the drunk bit and not the cross-dressing)
Hoots, mon! Whit urr ye's aa spielin aboot? Dae ye no' ken forbye Ah'll no be pu'in the cuddy o'er the brae furr such sassenach company as ye's aa'? Wheesht! I'll be takkin the high road, an' ma Samoan Attorney wull be takin the low road, and we'll hae a wee drappie wi' the houghmagandy afore the nicht's o'er. Ochone!
I say my good fellow! What are you talking about? Don't you understand I'll not be compromising my accent for you southern fairies? I'm off to the pub, and my land shark is coming with me, and we're both going to get drunk. Toodle-oo!
Whit? The gamekeeper, ye cry? Ye'll tak me fur the ghillie? Ochone, it's a disaster fur Scotland, like unto the brridge on the Silvery Tay, Berrtie Vogts, Paul Gascoigne, England 1 - Scotland 0...
Richt, I want tae tak the opportunity to mak it purrrfectly clear: I, Laird Roy McGonagall, being of unsound mind and somewhat crocked body, am nae mair the tumshie as wad sprack a daimenicker in a thrave tae the great chieftain o' the puddin' race. Furrthermoarrr, ye wadnae tak a mickle tae mak a muckle o yon kingdom o' East Fife four, Forfar five, fae the snaw that covers Glencoe tae the cullen skink ma granny used tae mak. O' course, we had rationing in those days.
DO I MAK MASEL PURRFECTLY CLEAR TAE YIZ AW?
I say, you're comparing me to the hired help? It's not good, just like everything Scotland's done.
Now, I would like to set the record straight, I am not a commoner and while being slightly odd, (something something something) a haggis. Also, (something something something, probably a derogatory remark about the English being soft nancy boys with no capability for manual labour). Plus, I've acquired Yorkshireman syndrome
Is that understandable?
(I make no apologies for anything lost in translation, glaring inaccuracies or general faults. Any encounters with angry drunken Glaswegians should not use my translations if you wish to retain your face in the same shape and style it is in at present.)