Pirate Dating Tips

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Pirate Dating Tips

Postby DaveL on Tue Aug 14, 2007 5:01 pm

YArrrr...

Lads, sailing the seas is full of adventure, drinking, fighting and traversing the four corners of the globe - ie., unless you believe in a flat earth, in which case yer ship will tip off the edge. YArr!!

What more could a pirate want?

However, when yer call into some foreign port, the odds are, ye be on yer own. Noone to share your plunder wif, noone to polish yer peg leg. Ye be all alone! :cry:

Potential partners of today be a very fussy lot and bein' a loner is becomin' a reality for the career minded pirate.

Oi wuz wunderin ifs yer had any tips for meetin' members of the opposite gender, an' ifs yer had any tips?
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Postby Deck Hand Sharkchum on Tue Aug 14, 2007 5:15 pm

Yarrrgghhh, it's a fine qwestin' ye be askin'....

I always seem to have luck wit' tha local baaarrrgggghhh maids when i have a piece o' two o' gold on me table.

O' course ye could always go tha route of a workin' wench...
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Postby Dan(da haole guy) on Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:02 pm

ARR-oha..DaveL, oi allus fought oi wus da oppo gender (leastwize dat's wot da gurrls @ Madame Fifi's say..)..buddonna nudda han', in faraway ports-'o-call, wen Madame Fifi's iz jus' a moist reverie, a cuppla woids in ku'u olelo (me native palaver) alwayz duz da trick (OK..& a handful uv doubloons.....gotta be trut'ful..da FSM is watchin'..& snickering..)
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..
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Postby tanguerra on Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:37 pm

Well, I might be able to provide some assistance to yez gents here.

Pleasing things to wenches is:

Personal hygeine - It is hard to stress this one sufficienkly. No self-respecting wench wants to be swaggerin' about on the town with a pirate wot smells like he just lost a fight with a vat of aftershave. On t'other hand, a change of underwear every month or so does not ever go amiss. Getting yer beard replaited by the cabin boy costs nothin' and shows a little respeck.

Compliments - no wench is ever or was ever able to resist a good compliment. Some suggestions:

So, me lovely, be that yer own hair? (Whether answer be in the positive or the negative the next remark should be the same) Aye. Tis a lovely shade.

So, me lovely, be those yer own teeth? (ditto - you gets the idea)

Paying for her drinks - of course. Tis nothing more disheartening for a wench wot has spent the evening ironin' her bloomers and all in preparation for a big evening out on the town (or hanging about on the docks) than to be constantly being asked to shell out by her potential beau. Make sure ye has a pocket full of plunder before the big evenin' or risk going home with yer eyes gouged and yer peg leg unpolished.
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:45 pm

1. Don't eat fish-head stew before the date.

2. Don't eat fish-head stew during the date.

3. Don't eat fish-head stew after the date.

4. Despite rumors to the contrary, most wenches do not like to be addressed as "a piece I picked up at the bar."

5. As the lovely Tanquerra says, compliments are easy and effective. Agreeing with a lady works too.

6. Should you need a date to practice these tips on, might I reccommend finding a wench who makes your heart flutter based first on personality, and secondly on looks. It is vitally important not to mix these up. At least, not if you want a second date.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Postby ChowMein on Wed Aug 15, 2007 1:44 am

YARR!! Ye be troolee whys mateys !
Quote :" ARRR! GAGAGAGA ! , ...de sailin' loife fer me. ARR! GAGAGAGAGa....arr gagaga.....a...". (Popeye The Sailor)
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Postby Deck Hand Sharkchum on Wed Aug 15, 2007 4:42 pm

Rowan Redbeard wrote:1. Don't eat fish-head stew before the date.
LIES

2. Don't eat fish-head stew during the date.
LIES

3. Don't eat fish-head stew after the date.
LIES

4. Despite rumors to the contrary, most wenches do not like to be addressed as "a piece I picked up at the bar."
LIES

5. As the lovely Tanquerra says, compliments are easy and effective. Agreeing with a lady works too.
LIES

6. Should you need a date to practice these tips on, might I reccommend finding a wench who makes your heart flutter based first on personality, and secondly on looks. It is vitally important not to mix these up. At least, not if you want a second date.


Oi find that my heart goes a flutter in this ordarrrrgghhhhh
1) Treasure
2) tha Sea
3)Rum
4) a fine looking wench
5) A fine looking wench with treasure full of rum at sea.[/b]
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Postby DaveL on Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:10 pm

YArrr...

Oi always find flossing my three remaining teeth is a real lady killer. As long as Oi don't smile too much of course. :D
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Postby Deck Hand Sharkchum on Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:56 pm

THREE TEETH!!! and yaaarrrrggggghhh askin' us for tips on tha' wenches!!!

Why if i 'ad three teeth I wouldn't 'ave ta spend me treasure on anyone but me self!
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Postby tanguerra on Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:18 pm

It be not the teeth of a man which a wench is interested in primarily, I assure yez. Although, of course, a fine set of choppers is an attracitive attribute, any more than 10 or 15 or so would make a man who was claimin to be a seafarin man, let alone a pirate, somewhat suspect to my eyes of course.

Still and all, no matter howsoever many teeth a man might have, I agree with Captin Dave that if they be flossed on a semi-regular basis twould go a long way to improving the irresistability of a cove to the opposite sex.

Also, by the bye, a wench is always pleased by a good sense of humour in a gent. Ye know the sorts of things ye can do to amuse yer dates - tripping up of unsuspecting passers-by be always good for a guffaw fer instance and sech like.
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Postby DaveL on Thu Aug 16, 2007 4:15 am

YArrrrr...

Oi quite like that new pirate cologne just out on the market called 'Katza-pizz', awfully good stuff, full of pheromones, that will have the ladies flockin to yer.
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hair

Postby black bart on Thu Aug 16, 2007 5:48 am

tanguerra wrote:
So, me lovely, be that yer own hair? (Whether answer be in the positive or the negative the next remark should be the same) Aye. Tis a lovely shade.


Paying for her drinks - of course.


The first one would go down well with 'Walktheplank' if ye wanted to **** im.

The second one would go down very noicely wiv meself...as I er, seem to av left me purse in me cabin.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby Deck Hand Sharkchum on Fri Aug 17, 2007 1:52 pm

YYaaarrrgghhh know, I also find that given em sumthin' personal can 'elp make a wench more receptive to my attacks...errrr advances..
loik a tattoo wit er' name onnit...
or a new eye patch....notin' more pleasurable than a new eye patch
or maybe a puppy.....lightly seasoned o' course...
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Fri Aug 17, 2007 9:50 pm

Nah, you've got to marinate it in seawater and brandy, wrap it in palm fronds, bury it in the sand, build bonfire a fire on top of it, and let it cook.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Postby DaveL on Sat Aug 18, 2007 12:17 am

YArrrrr...

So what pick-up lines do will go down a treat wif the wenches lads?
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