Picking your nose and other evils, privacy in close quarters

[DaveL]

Can any of yers tell me the best way to let off a big belch without scarin the tavern wenches?

I finds that a suffishently loud fart covers it up nicely.

Yarrrrr!!! ROFLMAO

[Dan(da haole guy)]

ARR-oha..mos' toimes wen we onna "Weeping Pustule" get to da Admiral B 'n' need t' ree-lease a wee bit, we jes' waits 'til da dwarf-tossin' competition..wit' alla yellin' & thumpin' an' moanin' from da throwers 'n' throwees, da "urrp"s 'n' "pweet"s no get noticed..

[anthrobabe]

why does this not surprise me?

why do I take finding stuff like this in stride?

why am I not surprised at the name of the creator and the names of the biggest contributors?

what is pirating coming to?

Has anyone seen my stick? The one I use to poke dead things with?

[ChowMein]

YARR! Gertie ,

Day be a discussing lot .

[Dan(da haole guy)]

ARR-oha..Saucy Gert..lookin' f' yez "dead-fing-pokin'-stick", ya? oi sees it ovah dere onna floor..allows me t' geddit f' ya..

*bends ovah, reaches unda da table*..AARRGGHH! almos' got it..likkle farther..*BWAARRP..PLUUB..PWEET*...oops!!..hur hur hur..& here be yer stick, Ms Pettigrew..*big, silly grin*..

[tanguerra]

Just to distract yez for one moment from yer intestinal infortitudes, knowin' however such a fascinating subjick as it is, ye'll get back to it soon enough...

I have a question for yez. Even though the Purple Primrose be quite a commodious vessel, even so sometimes it is necessary to squeeze through narrow passageways when goin about one's piratical business.

Now, when confrontin' me cabin boy (Sanchez be his name) at such close quarters, should I tell he to turn hisself front on, side on or backwards on, nonetheless, so's I can make me way up the aforesaid passageway, some contact is going to occur all the same.

Industrical relations, harassment, ya da, public liability insoorance, and all, bein' as it is, it is better te just instruct him to back up and pop into a cabin? Or, would that be takin' up too much valuable work time? Surely some of yez will have encountered such a problem in the parrrrrst?

[DaveL]

YArrr..

Tis a good point Tangie. O'id be just cuttin to the quick an make him clean the effluent pipes. Therebe no better form of hin-dustrial relashuns than that. He'll think twice before he tries that Pirate Trade Union mumbo jumbo on yer again. What does 'e think it is, equal rights for workers or sumthin'? What century does 'e think it is?

[tanguerra]

Aye, tis true. A good cuff round the ear always worked pretty well in the past. 'Twere good enough for me old grandmother anyways. Why go all mumbo jumboin' now? So, I'll just tell him to get on with the job? Eh? No whinin' neither.

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

As underwear isn't particularly prevalent, Oi bin 'avin a bit of itchniess in me nether regions. Findin a private place to have a scratch can be quite a task!!

[black bart]

ARRRRRRRRRRR...it be toim fer me ta pick me nose again...I be not avin the 'Michael Jackson' one this toim cos it fell off in a storm!

[The Black Spot]

Limited space be causin' a few problems on me own ship. Knuckles spends most o' a voyage in the cupboard under the stairs. 'Owever, it be quite small. 'As ye any ideas about what we can tape to 'is elbows to muffle the din?

[black bart]

Arrrrrrrrr, me ship's musician Blind Bob Dillun ave written a song fer Knuckles called "Knock, knock, knockin on cupboard door." It moight elp cos the ear splittin Mouth Organ solo will cover up the sound o Knuckles rattlin away!

[DaveL]

YArrrrrr...

During me time with the Black Sea pirates, Oi had meself a few of those sulphur dried Turkish Apricots at the Bazaar in Zonguldak.

After the Argggh 9000 pulled out to shore, me tummy started grumblin a bit. Then after another hour it was really growlin'. In the end, me cabin mate knew what was comin' and he stood me outside at gunpoint all night.

Arghhhh...O'ill never eat dried fruit again.

[Dan(da haole guy)]

ARR-oha..DaveL, ye shoulda known ye are only a way-station in da life uv dried fruit..they looks at ye as a place t'rest an' ferment before movin' on to anudda plane uv existence..(beer volcano/strippers? no one can say..)

[black bart]

Arrrrrrrrr...Me ship's hairdresser Quentin...he looks loik a dried up old fruit!