Pirate Lingo Dictionary for de new crew members

[Dan(da haole guy)]

ARR-oha.. b) is wot they call a "tautology", eh?..

(oi kin disparage da Irish..da haole part uv me be Irish/Canadian/whatevvah..so no "Oi! 'e's bein' anti-Gael an' a spalpeen in da bargain..", OK?)

[black bart]

Spalpeen = A scamp; an Irish term for a good-for-nothing fellow; - often used in good-humored contempt or ridicule.

This Pirate thread is a veritable seat of learning!

[walktheplank]

FSB: Festering Stupid Blaggards often found on Pirate Forums, beware these individuals know nothing about piracy.

[black bart]

Walktheplank's Wig: A festerin entity often encountered on the Portsmouth Docks...soon to be riding the windy airwaves of Sydney!

[walktheplank]

Black Bart's Wallet - Last opened in 1695, contains moths, spiderwebs but no money

[black bart]

Long Winded Taleitis: Seafaring ailment causing drowsiness and the urge to jump over the side in a storm...one of the main carryers being Walktheplank, avoid him if he sais the words: "It were a dark and stormy night..."

[walktheplank]

Over Postitis - The urge to post on every thread at all costs even though only 1 post in 20 may be remotely interesting. This ailment affects many but particularly the pirate known as Black Bart.

[OZ_Nick]

Francine the Flaggellator - much loved Dominatrix from the Madam Fifi's. Particularly favoured by a certain alcohol saturated pirate of simian appearance

[tanguerra]

Toothless Kate - old hag, chief petty officer, enforcer, debt collector and Tanguerra's personal bodyguard and theatrical agent. Once she were a beautiful Tahitian Princess (or would a been, had she been born on the right side of the blanket). After takin' a position as wet-nurse to baby Tanguerra, she were hopelessly led astray and before long fell into piratical ways. A long and adventurous life and much exposure to foul weather has made her what she is today. (She were always in possession of a foul temper)

Sanchez - Cabin Boy on the Purple Primrose. A dab hand with a feather duster and well able to run up a dress at short notice, though he be only 17. Blindly devoted to Tanguerra and an excellent giver or foot massages and bringer of cups of cocoa after a long hard day of swaggerin' about and showin' off. Never buy him a drink in the tavern as he has no head fer liquor and is somewhat inclined ter begin fights what he has no ability to bring to a successful conclusion. Ye'll have Tanguerra (and Kate) ter answer to if any harm should befall a hair on his golden head. A good cabin boy is very hard ter find and he's got a couple years left in him yet before I have ter trade him in for a younger one.

[The Black Spot]

"Red" Keith Liversausage - Mayor of Portsmouth. Promises to crack down on crime, but is kidnapped so often that he hasn't had time yet.

[black bart]

"Red" Keith Liversausage's ear: Seperated from the mayor, wherabouts unknown.

[walktheplank]

One Eyed Nick - The randiest rat that ever lived and personally responsible for 3000 offspring currently running riot in the bilge of Dave L's ship. Nick is slowly losing his sight in his one eye and adds weight to the old saying that to much of the other makes one go blind.

[black bart]

Sticky backed Plastic: a clear plastic with adhesive on the back made famous by the BBC TV children's programme 'Blue Peter.'

[tanguerra]

The Aproned Scrubber - Super heroine, dedicated to ridding the world of slovenly housekeeping everywhere.
Wife to the Dark Avenger (righter of wrongs and scourge of evil doers, however ineffective, in Portsmouth)

[The Black Spot]

Fish Head Shower - The unfortunate side effect of a bowl of dodgy stew and a night on the piss.