FSM Discussion

by **walktheplank** on Thu Sep 13, 2007 8:16 am

ye discover one of yer crew is Welsh, do ye

1) Give him a Charlotte Church CD and leave the sad blaggard alone in his quarters.

2) Get a group of his crew mates together and when they are roaring drunk they'll form a Welsh Male Voice Choir.

3) Give him a leek for his birthday but remember that he'll probably cook it rather than use it as a sex aid.

4) Drop him off in Swansea on a Friday night, he'll be mugged within the hour.

by **The Black Spot** on Thu Sep 13, 2007 10:21 am

5) Tell 'im it's his round. Ee'll soon scarper then.

by **black bart** on Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:19 pm

walktheplank wrote:ye discover one of yer crew is Welsh, do ye

4) Drop him off in Swansea on a Friday night, he'll be mugged within the hour.

Arrrrrrrrrr, I was wonderin why the bleedin ell I has moved ta Portsmouth!!!!!?????

by **The Black Spot** on Fri Sep 21, 2007 3:59 pm

Ye be writin' a ransom note, when yer victim sez that if ye let 'im go, ee'll 'elp yer kidnap someone far more valuable. Does ye:

a) Throw the swab back in the bilge

b) Go along with 'is plan

c) Kidnap the new victim, but do the dirty an' keep the original one a prisoner

d) Sign this enterprisin' feller up fer yer crew.

by **walktheplank** on Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:25 pm

Yer Wench burns yer Stew, do ye:

1) Beat her up an throw her in the bilge

2) Buy her the latest book from Big Ron '100 things to do with sausages' in the hope that it improves her cooking.

3) Sod it, go ashore for a curry.

4) Combine options 1 and 3

by **anthrobabe** on Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:08 pm

Ye arrives at the tavern door at the same time as ye captain

how does ye 'andle it

1) shove the blaggard out o the way- after all this ain't onboard his ship

2) step swiftly to tha side while doffin ye hat an openin tha door for 'em

3) throw ye arm around the buggar and greet 'im wif a "Well howdy capn- I be so glad to see ya" all this with havin in mind that he/she be so impressed he/she will buy a round or two for ye

4) scurry as fast as ye can tha other direktion--- ye's on watch after all and can't be caught portside or else ye'll 'ave to go back to Walk the Planks crew for bein insubboardanant an all

by **The Black Spot** on Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:36 pm

Ye arrives at the tavern door at the same time as one o' yer swabs.

Does ye:

a) Kick the blaggard in the nadgers to show 'im 'oo be in charge

b) Wait for 'im to open the door fer yer

c) Use 'is head to open the door

d) Greet 'im like an old friend, an buy 'im loads o' drinks so 'ee lets slip when the next mutiny be takin place

by **black bart** on Fri Sep 21, 2007 8:10 pm

Ye be cast adrift on an open boat arter yet another mutiny...does ye:

a. Refer to Captain William Bligh's work 'How to survive being cast adrift on an Open Boat and other amusing voyages'.

b. Refer to The Black Spot's excellent work "I'll get ye, ye scurvy Blaggards!"

c. Refer to Cap'n Dave L's rather far fetched effort published by Faber and Faber: "How to use your pink dress as a sail and hence proceed to East Timor".

or

d. Refer to the Rev Rowan Redbeard's timeless epistle: "How I bored the other survivors to death with my Theological Diatribe and survived by eating their corpses".

by **Rev. Rowan Redbeard** on Sat Sep 22, 2007 11:35 am

I'll go with d.

by **The Black Spot** on Sat Sep 22, 2007 6:45 pm

Arrr, D fer me too.

If yer abandoned in the Pacific wi' no food or water, yer must read it. After a few pages ye'll come to view death as a merciful release.

by **anthrobabe** on Sat Sep 22, 2007 9:26 pm

Yar---- D fer me as well

as an alternative one could read "survivor type" a short story by Steven King

besides that pink dress has holes in it in places I don't even want to think about- wouldn't make a good sail

by **Rev. Rowan Redbeard** on Sat Sep 22, 2007 9:58 pm

You ask for tea at the Scurvy Dog, but are presented with a liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

Do you...

a. slaughter the bugger who served it to you?

b. slaughter the cabin boy who went to fetch the tea?

c. slaughter everyone in the tavern in a fit of pique?

d. refer to the Rev. Rowan Redbeard's timeless epistle: How to brew tea with a portable teapot.

e. laugh and order Captain's Delight XO because you are a silly bugger who doesn't understand the wonderful properties of real tea?

by **Dan(da haole guy)** on Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:07 am

ARR-oha..definitely "d"..(begs the question: who in their right mind would order tea @ the Scurvy Dog in the first place?).."a", "b", & "c" might cause a constabulary visit of questionable utility..& "d" would be OK, but the Captain's Delight XO @ the 'Dog is (to put it politely) bear whiz blended with possum droppings..

by **tanguerra** on Mon Sep 24, 2007 9:22 am

Oh Aarrgh! Dan (Aloha). I wondered what gave it that extraordinarrrry flavour. Toothless Kate has been experimentin' in the galley all week tryin' to replicate it, with highly questionable results.

Captin (The Rev) Rowan, I'd have ter go for either d or e. I find slaughterin' people in the tavern tends to put a dampener on the evenin', especially if it's their round, and also ruins the decor of an establishment. (Yer takes 'em outside if yer wants ter 'talk to em' like).

by **Rev. Rowan Redbeard** on Mon Sep 24, 2007 9:34 am

ESSAY QUESTION:

Ye find a couple of new swabbies stumbling over storylines and getting them tangled up while wandering through the Continuous Salty Tale. What do you do?

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