Pirate Etiquette

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Re: wig

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 23, 2007 2:23 pm

DaveL wrote:
black bart wrote:Pirate Etiquette 35 Sub-Section 4.3

Does Walktheplank

a. Remove his wig and polish his head ready for battle

b. Wear a nasty punky spikey wig to make imself look more fearsum

c. Carry on drinkin


YArrrrr...

Oi thinks yer forgot d. Write a long winded tale about a. b. and c.


Bwa Harr Harr Harrrrrrrrrrr...

(not the sort o thing we'd get up to...)
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Postby DaveL on Mon Jul 23, 2007 3:02 pm

YArrrr...

Oi be in more trubbles today than yer can poke a stick at. No oidea why, I didn't even post any turkey pics.
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Postby Pachyderm on Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:43 pm

It's because you didn't post any turkey pics...
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bastin

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 23, 2007 6:28 pm

ARRR...er, this one ud take some bastin:

Image
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Postby anthrobabe on Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:01 pm

When the dirty pirate louts gets out of hand at the tavern does ye( oh and note ye is the head ale wench at said tavern)

A: Ignore em and keep drinkin

B: Call that constable- big stick MacGruder

C: douse em all wif water

D: Lets em roll till they all passes out and then do some pocket raidin of ye own (and I means pockets ye dirty buzzards)
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drown

Postby black bart on Wed Jul 25, 2007 4:53 pm

anthrobabe wrote:When the dirty pirate louts gets out of hand at the tavern does ye( oh and note ye is the head ale wench at said tavern)

A: Ignore em and keep drinkin

B: Call that constable- big stick MacGruder

C: douse em all wif water

D: Lets em roll till they all passes out and then do some pocket raidin of ye own (and I means pockets ye dirty buzzards)


ARRRRR, be careful wiv C: douse em all wif water...cos if it appen that Cap'n Cronan be one of em, we'll all drown!
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Postby The Black Spot on Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:36 pm

Ye's out on the lash, an' has a pint o' Captain's Delight too many. Ye has that urgent feelin' that tells ye that yer about to chuck up at any second. Does ye:

A: Make a mad dash fer the privy

B: Duck under the table an' hope no-one notices what yer doin'

C: Stand up and see how many people ye can cover wi' it

D: Swallow hard and keep drinkin'.
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Postby Pachyderm on Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:17 pm

D.

until ye can't 'old it any longer, then C.

Back to D.
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HANG EM

Postby black bart on Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:09 am

Yer Crew asks ye fer a pay rise arter a particularily profitable raid on a Spaniard Galleon, does ye:

A. Hang the lot of em.
B. Shoot the lot of em
C. Feed em to the sharks
D. CARRY ON DRINKING AND THEN HANG EM
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Postby walktheplank on Fri Jul 27, 2007 6:46 am

yer crew have all got scurvy and can't do any pillaging an plundering t'day

Do ya

A. Sail to the nearest port and acquire the best medical care that money can buy.
B. Tend them personally with tender loving care till they are all better
C. Ignore em, yer don't need em t'day, yer can do all the plundering on yer own.
D. Shoot the lazy blaggards and feed their rotting carcasses to the sharks.

Which do you think would be The Black Spot approach.
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bastin

Postby black bart on Fri Jul 27, 2007 8:19 am

It be toim ta baste the Turkey agin an a foine well proportioned young wench offers ta lend a hand, Do yers:

A. Sit back and think of England
B. Make sure she's got plenty o bastin juice
C. Tell her to mind yer giblets
D. Carry on drinkin and let her get on with it
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Postby The Black Spot on Fri Jul 27, 2007 10:14 am

Yer crew 'as mutinied an' cast ye adrift in an open boat. In the boat be yerself, yer cabin boy an' three loyal officers. Tis a cold night, and ye has a full bottle o' rum in yer coat pocket. Does ye:

A: Share out the rum equally

B: Tell each man they can have a mouthful o' rum each day

C: Dilute the rum so it lasts longer

D: Shoot the officers, eat the cabin boy an' drink all the rum
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protest

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:32 am

The Black Spot wrote:Yer crew 'as mutinied an' cast ye adrift in an open boat. In the boat be yerself, yer cabin boy an' three loyal officers. Tis a cold night, and ye has a full bottle o' rum in yer coat pocket. Does ye:

A: Share out the rum equally

B: Tell each man they can have a mouthful o' rum each day

C: Dilute the rum so it lasts longer

D: Shoot the officers, eat the cabin boy an' drink all the rum


ARRRRR, I protests...this is supposed to be Pirate etiquette rules...not yer bleedin Autobiography!
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Postby walktheplank on Mon Jul 30, 2007 6:40 am

There was an Aussie Pirate, a Welsh Pirate and an English Pirate stranded on a lifeboat surrounded by sharks. What would each of them do.

The Aussie Pirate reached for some beers from the cooler and passed them to the English Pirate and the Welsh Pirate, who cares what happened next.

The Welsh Pirate threw out lumps of Fish Head Stew and poisoned the sharks and they all escaped.

The English Pirate threw the Welsh Pirate to the sharks and in the melee that ensued the Aussie Pirate and the English Pirate escaped.
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
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Rats

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 30, 2007 7:18 am

Yer wig is infested with Bilge rats, Does ye:

A. get an Austrian to write a joke about it
B. soak the wig in Fish Head Stew
C. sell the wig to Jean Paul Galtier or Vivianne Westwood as a unique piece of Haut Couture
D. Just enjoy your new found popularity
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