Two pirates were adrift in a lifeboat. Among the items they salvaged from the shipwreck was a lamp. In this lamp there resided a genie (they discovered this upon attempting to drink the lamp oil, as the rum had run out two days earlier). The genie gave one wish.
"I wish the ocean was made of rum!" the first pirate said.
The ocean was turned to the best rum ever and the genie vanished.
"Oh, that's just great..." moaned the second pirate. "Now we've gotta piss in the boat!"
—Captain the Reverend C.S. Rowan, Esq., Gentleman Pirate
"Thank you for calling Evil Incorporated. How may I misdirect your call?"
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