Will ninjas go to heaven?

[Pachyderm]

I seem to remember reading in Spike Milligan's war memiors that there was a villiage in Tunisia populated by red-headed Arabs. Did some of your clones head off for some sun and cous-cous fun?

[black bart]

AAARRRRR Cous - Cous...I often feeds me crew that...actually it be sun dried maggots but don't ye be tellin em...they loves it!

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

Oi loves a good maggot wifs a nice cracker and a glass of port. The most expensive maggots are Le Grande Magotte, grown at the exclusive LGM farm in the Rhone Valley.

There be nuthin' better than impressin yer pirate mates wif a tub of LGM.

[The Black Spot]

Arrr Cap'n DaveL.

Seein' as ye be a connoisseur in all things maggoty, can ye tell us if ye likes yer maggits to be all soft an' wriggly, or does ye prefer 'em when they gets to the hard an' crunchy stage?

What wine goes best wi' maggits or pupae?

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Certainly Spot, the maggot is often called 'the pirates little friend' because he be useful for so many applicashuns. Eating, racing and domesticating just be some of them.

Yarrrr...I won't tells yer about me friend 'Mr Wrigglesworth'...it be a secret, don't tell me crew. Oi tell 'im all me secrets and he never talks back. He just wiggles approvingly.

In the culinary pursuits, the most delicious maggots are found during the first few weeks after hatching, when they are most tender. They haves a nice crunch to their texture. Oi quite likes 'em wif a glass o'port or nice brandy.

Just before pupating they get a bit leathery, so yewl need to tenderise 'em. The gamier flavour goes quite well wifs a good merlot or cabernet sauvignon.

Youse can read all about me cooking in the new book 'DaveL and Pirgella's: Kitchen Joys with Maggots', only D 14.99 on Ama-argh-zon.

YArrgghh!

[black bart]

Personally, I loiks a good maggot Bhuna meself! Extra hot with a side dish o Weevil Chutney.

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

Yer makin me mouth water now Bart. Have yer ever seen any good Magot desserts? Oi quite likes a slice of Magot and Lime Tart wifs some King Island cream.

[black bart]

OOOHHH AAAARRR Yes...or Weevil Blancmange a la Ritz.

[DaveL]

YArrrr,

Oi heards that Knuckles O'Shuffle was a very good cook in his day...

[black bart]

YYYYAAARRRRR, Knuckles was damn good with an egg whisk!

[DaveL]

YArrrrrr...

I'm afraid he gave his egg whisk too much of a workout to be useful in the kitchen.

[The Black Spot]

Arrrr... ye be right about Knuckles' culinary past. 'Ee once worked in the bakery, 'elping to make the steam puddings. If one got stuck to its tray, the others would call out fer Knuckles to pull the puddin' out.

No-one were better than Knuckles at pulling a pud.

[black bart]

ARRRR...one thing makes we wonder though...was Knuckles a left handed Pudding Puller or a right handed Pudding Puller?

[DaveL]

Argghhh...

Oi thinks he was so skilled, probably managed both. He was a bit heavy handed though.

[Etay]

Just 'cause Pirates 'n' Ninjas be goin' at it fer eternity, don't mean they can't live in 'armoney in the great beyond.

Pirates may be 'oly bein's, 'n' such, but fer the most part, they be just like you 'n' me. Aye, Pirates.

Arr... that didn't 'urn out so well...

Okay, Ninjas be nei'er 'oly nor un'oly. They be more-or-less 'uman.
Pirates, on the other hook, be 'oly!
All 'n all, they both go to 'eaven.


Sincerely yers, Etay.