Pirates Invade Ankh-Morpork, Few Notice
From our international correspondent, Mitch
The fantasy city of Ankh-Morpork on the Discworld, was invaded by ruthless pirates earlier this morning. It started off being a ruthless battle, but "wasn't nothin' outta the usual" said a Guild Of Assassins acolyte.
Lord Vetinari, Lord of Ankh-Morpork, said that the invasion was "quite interesting."
Apparently, the pirates got as far as the Guild of Seamstresses, where they found that they no longer had their weapons, clothes, or eyepatches.
The invasion was lead by none other than the much-feared Black Bart, who was found afterwards, sitting dejectedly in a tavern, drinking a bottle of rum. He commented on the situation. "YaaAArrgH, before we knew it, some bloke named Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler 'ad bought arrl our weapons, and our clothes and eyepatches warr gone not long after."
Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler is infamously renowned for his salesmanship, and also his deadly 'sausage inna bun'.
They approached the city from the river Ankh, which surprised many, because it is known to be so filthy that it almost doesn't flow. As for the bridges joining Ankh and Morpork, they were destroyed by the cannons.
By mid-afternoon, the pirate invasion was quelled, and the pirates themselves, which include the notorious Cap'n Turtlehead, DaveL, and Rowan Redbeard, have disappeared, presumed embarrassed.
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.
So yeah, I went and got a blog.