Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Stink

Postby black bart on Mon Apr 21, 2008 8:03 am

It's Official, Europeans Stink:

On Friday morning my nostrils were filled with the smell of manure and this is why:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7354538.stm
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: Navy

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Mon Apr 21, 2008 8:23 pm

black bart wrote:Royal Navy Told not to Detain Pirates Shock

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article3736239.ece

Ha harr...break out the rum lads...it be toim ta celebrate!


Yarr Bartie bouy , seems Thee Roil Navee be on Arr soide , doan loike sommat bout vents oi 'spose.
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Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering times of innocence
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Postby The Black Spot on Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:55 pm

GREEN BART SHOCK!

Visitors to a message board were stunned yesterday when a certain pirate's name appeared in green on the main forum page.

A certain visitor (who wishes to remain nameless) said "This is terrible. A moderator? HIM?"

A source close to the Venganza website said "Yes, it's official. The lunatics have really taken over the asylum."
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Postby DancingKitty on Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:39 pm

The Black Spot wrote:GREEN BART SHOCK!

A source close to the Venganza website said "Yes, it's official. The lunatics have really taken over the asylum."


Teh wurd iz 'regained'...
Meow.
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Black Spot

Postby black bart on Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:00 am

Aaaaargh no....it can't be...NOT THE BLACK SPOT already...I've only been in the job a couple o days...

Phew, it's only you!
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Postby The Black Spot on Tue May 06, 2008 7:20 am

NEW MAYOR TAKES CHARGE

After six decades in office, Red Keith Liversausage has been ousted as Mayor of Portsmouth by Borat Jolson.

Red Keith, who introduced the unpopular Congestion Charge in Portsmouth Harbour, was defeated by a landslide vote for Borat Jolson.

Giving his victory speech on the steps of Portsmouth Town Hall, Mr Jolson promised to crack down on crime, and make the streets of Portsmouth safe again.

He began to say something about improving public transport, but was cut off when he was bundled into the back of a carriage by three burly men and driven away at speed.
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Borat

Postby black bart on Tue May 06, 2008 12:37 pm

New Mayor...Same Routine...which bits will they chop orf Borat? There's plenty ta spare!
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Postby pieces o'nine on Tue May 06, 2008 2:08 pm

Oi don't recaul readin' habout no 'Borat Jolson' on the runup t' thee Portsmouth Mayoral Helections.

As a staunch supporrrter ov Tiddles' bid fer lejitimit power, an' a keen observer ov thee shenanigans hinvolving ovver cannidaytes, an' mice an' cakes, an bribes, an wot-not, oi demands ter no wot the vote tallies were...

WOT BE THIS JOHNNY-COME-LAYTELY, SO-CALLED "BORAT JOLSON" AN 'IS SPESHULL HINTREST OWNERS BE HIDIN'?

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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby The Black Spot on Wed Jun 04, 2008 7:33 am

LOST TRIBE FOUND
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There was excitement this week when an expedition found the fabled Lost Tribe of Canvey Island.

The tribe worship the bald headed god Obi-Wan-Planko and are pictured here next to the gigantic wig they are weaving in his honour.

Cap'n Plank was unavailable for comment.
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart on Wed Jun 04, 2008 8:37 am

Aaaaargh...is the Black one or the Red one the chief?
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby The Black Spot on Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:35 am

black bart wrote:Aaaaargh...is the Black one or the Red one the chief?


Tis hard t' say. They paints themselves different colours to represent the various sores an' blotches on Plank's bonce.
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart on Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:42 am

Aaaaaarrgh...what foul heathen people are these?

The depravity...the depravity!

Have thay the power of speech?
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby The Black Spot on Wed Jun 04, 2008 6:50 pm

black bart wrote:Have thay the power of speech?


Tis not speech as we think it. Sum o them has memorised entire long winded tales. People has tried to have a conversation wi' them, but they've dropped off to sleep before theys finished talkin' about the weather.
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart on Thu Jun 05, 2008 6:17 am

Aaaaarrrgh...has we invented Napalm yet?
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby DaveL on Thu Jun 05, 2008 4:22 pm

YArrr...

Does anyone have their email addresses? I Oi needs to start sending 'em spam messages. No wait hang on, some of those tribes wear gourds already.
Oi be wastin me time! P'raps we can give every one of 'em a job at McWeevils.
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