Arrr-Bay (Non Portsmouth Branch)

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.0005%
Member: Since 1765

Up for grabs...

Speshul Ship's Cat Wok and Free recipe book, only 50 Cronans:



^Serving suggestshun.

[The Black Spot]

To: Arrr-Bay Complaints Dept

Re: Speshul Ship's Cat Wok and Free recipe book, only 50 Cronans:

Sir,

I bought this tasty lookin' cat to give me men a change from a diet o' bilge rats. A nice juicy cat looked just the job.

Well, we cooks it up fer supper, takes a bite an'... Gah! it were the most overpowerin' taste o' rat I's ever known! If yer sellin' a mog on Arrr-Bay, at least tell us that it's spent the last five years in the bilge livin' on nuffin but rats.

I like a nice moggy now an then, but this thing were like two thousand rats squashed into a cat sized block o' concentrated rat essence.

The stench that came from it when we sliced it open drove our own bilge rats into a frenzy, an they stripped the flesh from two o' me men afore we got 'em back in the bilge.

I trust we can settle this matter amicably, or else I'll be sendin' the boys round.

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.0005%
Member: Since 1765

Speshal Offer this Month...

For when yer dodgy goods get The Black Spot's Press Gang set on ye:



Only 5000 Cronans an hour...an believe me it be worth it.

Also available for beach party security an lynchins.

[ChowMein]

Inquiry for seller sneakysoopliers ,

yarr m8 , wot ye haz in thee way ove pirate gear ?

( yarr ta reeders , thee poss abuv me may be offed , so iffen et be so an' ye be confozzed , it be sumwun sellin' shooze )

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.0005%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for

One Complete beggar outfit:



Previous owner washed into the bay with the sewage.

Don't delay, benefits include:

a.Make a small fortune on the Streets of Portsmouth.

b.Receive handouts from Mayor Borat

c.Free entry to Bart Industries Fish Soup Kitchen every Friday

[DaveL]

Seller: piratesingles
Feedback: 99%
Member: Since 1706, went underground in 1707 for obvious reasons!

You are bidding for:

Manatee Dating Outfit

* Pirates, are you tired of hallucinating that every single marine sea creature you spy turns out to be a disappointment?
* Are you working long hours on your ship, with no chance to meet even a seagull?

Well look no further lonely pirate, this authentic looking manatee dating outfit could be just the thing.
Yewl attract more marine sea creatures than ye can poke a stick at!

Just a few minutes inside this suit could have you going from this...


to this...



before ye know it.

So if yer can't beat 'em, let them 'beat' you!

Buy now!!

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.0005%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

Four hundred weight of some black stuff wot we nicked orf the Persians.



We got Walktheplank to pose for the picture cos it don't matter if his hair falls out.

Hurry up and bid...me crew be turnin green an glowin at noight!

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.0005%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

2m Barrels of oil.

Prepared ta sell in batches o 500 barrels. Ideal for the Yuletide period, lightin up yer ship etc.

Collekshun only...see me or me first mate Harold, round the back o the Benbow...bring large Horse n Cart (I means large cart an a normal size horse).

50 Cronan per barrel.

ps if you see these men, run loik hell:

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.0005%
Member: Since 1765

Ye be biddin' fer:

The YooEss Economee



Onlee wun preveyos owner, sellin' on behalf o' owner dyoo ta mistreatment. Good fer stocking fillers come Christmas!

Go ta Wall St an' arsk fer S.Broker. If he ain't tharr, arsk fer B.Anker. They should be lyin' on thee street, beggin' fer nails an' buttons ta feed tharr family.

Only 23 Chockit Dubloons!

This coold be te invistmint o' a lifetoime!

[black bart]

Identity Theft Alert

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.0005%
Member: Since 1765

Dear Arr-Bay

I refer ye to the above Arr-Bay account wot appears ta ave been a victim of identity theft. I wouldn't normally be bovvered but I keep gettin people tellin me they've forked out 20 Cronans thru Cabinboypal and arskin me to hand over the US Economy.

Yours Trooly

BB (CE Bart Industries).

[DaveL]

Seller: Blaggard Ohayo Gozaimasu
Feedback: Absolutely none in English
Member: Since Bidet toilets were invented

You are bidding for:

Awesome Japanese Potty Training Video

Notes: Get your little Blaggard-San to visit Mr Smiling Loo quick smart.
Watch the little bloke 'point percy at the porcelain' in no time, with this amazing potty training video.

No more dirty nappies Mama-san. Just look at him go!


http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=GW0H2tPZATQ

Mind you, you may have to be a cute furry animal for it to work.

Starting Price: Only 500 Yen-bloons

Start your little blaggards day with confidence!

[black bart]

Dear Blaggard Ohayo Gozaimasu

I wants me Yen bloons back...(even if thay aint worf tuppence)...

I played the video ta me cabin boy an it aint worked...

He still craps himself whenever I uses him fer shark fishin bait.

[Auntie Blackbeard]

Seller: yer Auntie
Feedback: 100% positive if ye knows wot be good fer ye !
Member: Since me Big Bang

Ye be biddin' fer :

Wun NEF YOO , cumplete wid beeg lolly , beeg hat an' mouse stash .

Hurry afore 'ee wastes aweigh !

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.0005%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

One Galley Slave:



Highly experienced, has worked on over 500 galley ships, will work for a bowl of stew an a glass of ouzo.

Comes with own clean Jock Strap.

20 cronan or nearest offer.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Seller: nef yoo bb
Feedback: oi hadd a rat ysterdy
Member: fois tyme seler , lon tyme fan

Ye be biddin' fer :
me ole shackles , oi dont ned it cos thay neffr fit

Will triade fer food