Beyond the FSM: Ninja+Pirate? Coexistance?

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Is this acceptable?

Yes!
13
57%
Commit Seppuku
2
9%
Go away you stupid Ninja
5
22%
Whatever
3
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Total votes : 23

Beyond the FSM: Ninja+Pirate? Coexistance?

Postby 1337-ninja-master on Fri May 04, 2007 1:05 pm

So, I've been meaning to join and ask this question for a while, but hadn't got around to it until now. So here goes.

As you can see by my screen name, and email address, I am a ninja. I have been my entire life and have always followed the ninja way. Jumping from roof top to roof top, and killing people under the shadow of night without leaving a trace behind has been my life’s work.

Now, as most are aware, pirates and ninja have been at war for what seems forever. You can't go anywhere without hearing of the epic battles between the two. What's worse, peace does not seem forth coming. Both peoples are far too stubborn and set in their ways. Pirate vs. Ninja will be a well known thing for generations to come.

It doesn't help that the only successful merging of the two beings is the FSM. He is the only way such things as matter and anti mater could coexist without imploding. Pirates being loud and brash, and ninja being quiet and stealthy. It has long since been asked that if a pirate and a ninja were to have a child, what would happen, and the answer (through much testing) came to be a child without the powers of either, but a mere human.

Now, this presents a problem. Pirates are the most holy beings of the FSM and being a recently converted ninja, I have to wonder: Am I betraying my people? By converting, and personally coming to peace with pirates have I dishonored my clan? Do I need to commit seppuku?

I guess what I really want to know, is can you accept a ninja into your ranks, even with all the animosity? Or am I doomed to ritual suicide for the betrayal of my clan, family, and way of life?

Peace and Noodles;
Ley

:fsm_ninja: ?
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Postby Baggy on Fri May 04, 2007 1:52 pm

There are numerous pastafarian ninjas in this parody of a mock religion.
There's even a few pirate-ninjas. Holiest of the holy warriors who combine the stealth of a ninja and the relaxed morality of pirates.
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Postby Occam on Fri May 04, 2007 1:55 pm

In our church we think upon Ninjas as Asian Land Pirates and therefore our brothers. Not to say that brothers don't fight!

I find it useful to have ninjas about the place. Being a pirate and therefore a giver of gifts I get ninjas to deliver presents at Holiday. There is nothing quite like a ninja when you need express secret delivery.
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Postby Occam on Fri May 04, 2007 1:56 pm

Baggy wrote:There are numerous pastafarian ninjas in this parody of a mock religion.
There's even a few pirate-ninjas. Holiest of the holy warriors who combine the stealth of a ninja and the relaxed morality of pirates.


I hadn't thought of that. In my student days I was a Hashishin (a sort-of ninja). Nobody could raid food cupboards with greater stealth and diligence.
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Postby 1337-ninja-master on Fri May 04, 2007 2:02 pm

Occam wrote:In our church we think upon Ninjas as Asian Land Pirates and therefore our brothers. Not to say that brothers don't fight!

I find it useful to have ninjas about the place. Being a pirate and therefore a giver of gifts I get ninjas to deliver presents at Holiday. There is nothing quite like a ninja when you need express secret delivery.


That's good news. As a ninja, I've always been taught that there has been an endless war and no peace. It's good to know that somewhere the two can get along.

Though I don't know about "land pirates" we don't so much pillage, or any of those pirate-y things, mostly we kill... pirates kill too... hmmm I can live with it.

We are great at delivering things, especially without being noticed. Santa Claus for instance. Though he's a little well known for most ninja to like.
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Postby Occam on Fri May 04, 2007 2:13 pm

I don't believe in Santa. Just ninjas.

Don't be fooled into thinking that that pirates are robbers and thugs. That is propaganda. We are fun loving adventurers who spend more time loking for cursed treasure and booty than involving ourselves in common banditry.

For instance. Pirates were almost wiped out in the 16th and 17th century when they tried unsuccessfully to end the slave trade by capturing slave ships around the Caribbean and taking the "cargo" home. Of course the slavers (Christians and Muslims all) fought against the pirates who were cutting into their profits and told lies about them back home. Most who walked the plank were those who would put chains on people and call them property but you wont see that on any "pirate" movie.

Of course ninjas probably wouldn't involve themselves in such activity but then neither have I heard of ninjas owning slaves.
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Postby Zankou on Fri May 04, 2007 5:28 pm

Wait till Duke, the almighty leader of the Grammar Nazis, and well know Ninja-Pirate gets ahold of this thread.
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Postby PantyGnawer on Fri May 04, 2007 5:56 pm

1337-ninja-master wrote:Though I don't know about "land pirates" we don't so much pillage, or any of those pirate-y things, mostly we kill... pirates kill too... hmmm I can live with it.


I'm sure you kill only when you have to. Your primary objective is to sneak up on children and give them candy. Right?
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Postby EarthRise on Fri May 04, 2007 10:06 pm

Dude, Zankou, both Duke and I are ninja-pirates.

1337, your anxiety is understandable but needless. I, too, was once a ninja, but I understood the lies spread about pirates and their fun-loving, compassionate nature, and became one myself. Now I combine the art of stealthy death with a passion for rum, booty, and giving candy to children.
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Postby Zankou on Fri May 04, 2007 10:07 pm

EarthRise wrote:Dude, Zankou, both Duke and I are ninja-pirates.

1337, your anxiety is understandable but needless. I, too, was once a ninja, but I understood the lies spread about pirates and their fun-loving, compassionate nature, and became one myself. Now I combine the art of stealthy death with a passion for rum, booty, and giving candy to children.


Sorry, dude.

I just like Duke more. He's a little bit more pleasant.
"I reject your reality, and substitute my own!"
--Adam Savage, Mythbusters


"Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive!"
--Sir Walter Scott, Marmion, Canto vi. Stanza 17.


"Take what you can!", "Give nothing back!"
--Pirates of the Caribbean


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Postby 1337-ninja-master on Fri May 04, 2007 11:18 pm

I see, I guess I was horribly missinformed about our pirate brothers. If only there was some way to spread the truth to others of both ninja and pirate heritage. I will have to look into this, and find a way to bring peace.

I have other ninja friends who have become interested in this religion, but have not joined because of the animosity between pirates and ninja, so I will now go to them and tell them of what I've discovered. Soon, we will spread the word, and work towards ending this centuries old war.

I'm very glad it's looking like I don't have to prove my honor through seppuku. My second in command isn't ready to lead the clan just yet.

(I really do have a second in command) :fsm_ninja:
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Postby gusdafa on Sat May 05, 2007 8:10 am

The reluctance to accept other races and women membership(to certain degrees) in those fake religions is because of that elitist human nature. I know the great FSM has a plan for us ninjas. Trust and have faith in Him.

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Re: Beyond the FSM: Ninja+Pirate? Coexistance?

Postby Duke on Sat May 05, 2007 10:58 pm

1337-ninja-master wrote:So, I've been meaning to join and ask this question for a while, but hadn't got around to it until now. So here goes.

As you can see by my screen name, and email address, I am a ninja. I have been my entire life and have always followed the ninja way. Jumping from roof top to roof top, and killing people under the shadow of night without leaving a trace behind has been my life’s work.

Now, as most are aware, pirates and ninja have been at war for what seems forever. You can't go anywhere without hearing of the epic battles between the two. What's worse, peace does not seem forth coming. Both peoples are far too stubborn and set in their ways. Pirate vs. Ninja will be a well known thing for generations to come.

It doesn't help that the only successful merging of the two beings is the FSM. He is the only way such things as matter and anti mater could coexist without imploding. Pirates being loud and brash, and ninja being quiet and stealthy. It has long since been asked that if a pirate and a ninja were to have a child, what would happen, and the answer (through much testing) came to be a child without the powers of either, but a mere human.

Now, this presents a problem. Pirates are the most holy beings of the FSM and being a recently converted ninja, I have to wonder: Am I betraying my people? By converting, and personally coming to peace with pirates have I dishonored my clan? Do I need to commit seppuku?

I guess what I really want to know, is can you accept a ninja into your ranks, even with all the animosity? Or am I doomed to ritual suicide for the betrayal of my clan, family, and way of life?

Peace and Noodles;
Ley

:fsm_ninja: ?


Your worries are legitimate, Ley. I cannot count the number of times a distressed Ninja-Pirate has come here, wondering if we aren't just a bunch of Ninja-hating pirates. But the reality is very different. I am a to-the-bone Ninja-Pirate, and there are many others. Word has it Flying Spaghetti Monster considers Pastafarian Ninja-Pirates as His Spec-Ops group. We do not war with other factions, but instead fight in His name. And we would be more than glad to welcome you into our ranks.

It is a common conundrum, how can Ninjas and Pirates, such different creatures, live as one? It's simple, for me. My fighting style is very Ninja, and my lifestyle is very Pirate (pass the grog, mate!). My clothing style is rather a mix.


Truly,
Duke
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Re: Beyond the FSM: Ninja+Pirate? Coexistance?

Postby Occam on Mon May 07, 2007 6:58 am

Duke wrote:Word has it Flying Spaghetti Monster considers Pastafarian Ninja-Pirates as His Spec-Ops group.


Like Opus Dei for the Catholics and their humourless assassin-monks.
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Postby Duke on Mon May 07, 2007 7:21 pm

Sort of, only deadlier and with less self flagellation.


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