This is the 2nd leg of Piraticaâ€™s 1st Round Champions League tie with TNS of the Welsh Premier League. Piratica hold a 3-1 lead from the home leg in Portsmouth, though having obtained an away goal the Welsh Champions are confident they can pull off an upset against the World Cup finalists. For the away game Black Bart has been tasked with navigating the team to Llansantffraid as he is the only member of the team who can pronounce it if we get lost.
2 hours before the game and with no ground in sight, Dave L asks Black Bart when are we going to arrive at the game. â€œA slight problemâ€ said Bart â€œWe are in Wales, South Wales to precise, in fact to be truthful New South Walesâ€. â€œArrghâ€ said Dave L â€œWe be 10,000 Miles awayâ€. â€œNever fearâ€ said Oz_Nick â€œGrab hold of me new Peg Legs and oi will get you all to the game in timeâ€. So Nick now known as Superoz to his teammates did his duty and yes Piratica did make it to the game in time.
Kick off: TNS 0 (1) Piratica 0 (3)
03.44 Dave L sporting a big smile on his face has either put on weight or he has something stuffed up his shirt.
06.47 GOAL 1-0: Tremendous header by Rhodry ap Gwynech Gylgerrich Jones gives TNS the lead on the night. Oz Nick who should have won the header is completly immobile; his peg legs have rusted up completely.
11.21 The Black Spot is booked for bad sportsmanship, having punctured the ball with his cutlass prior to TNS taking a corner.
16.33 Only a last ditch tackle from Swatopluk prevents TNS taking the overall lead in the tie. Dafydd Carnarveon Llandudno Jones having the ball taking off his feet when clean through on goal.
23.18. The referee is keeping tight control on this game on account of the fact that he is speeding around in a wheelchair. UEFA were unable to persuade an able bodied referee to officiate in this game.
29.55 The irritating Welsh Singer Aled Jones is seen in the crowd getting rather excited. The Black Spot takes him out with one powerful blow to cheers from both sets of supporters.
33.10 The large bump up Dave Lâ€™s shirt is revealed when 6 sheep emerge. Strangely they are all smiling to. â€œWhat are you doingâ€ yelled Black Bart â€œyou were supposed to shear them not â€¦â€ but his words are lost as TNS increase their lead
33.11 GOAL 2-0: Iwan Aberaeron Welshpool Thomas drills the ball home from the edge of the box. Dr Otis Lansa who should have stopped the shot was unsighted when one of Dave Lâ€™s sheep wandered across the goal and blocked his view.
40.04 SUBSTITUTION: Teripie replaces Oz_Nick who has been unable to move due to serious mechanical problems with his peg legs, namely rust. Is sabotage to blame, Oz_Nick does not look happy as he is carried from the Pitch.
45.00 HALF TIME 2-0 TNS are leading a dispirited Piratica by 2-0 which means they will go through on away goals if things do not change. Piratica have it all to do in the 2nd half.
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.