Aaaarggh-stock: A concert to end scurvy and global warming

Arrr, I be a pirate!

Moderator: All Things Mods

Postby DaveL on Fri Jul 28, 2006 7:42 am

YArrrr...

Oi's heard Aunty Blackbeard will be playin some of her dark moody numbers. Well what else would yer expect after listenin to all our problems fer so long...YArrrr...
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4895
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Postby DaveL on Mon Jul 31, 2006 12:24 am

A P-TV ARRRRGGHH-STOCK UPDATE

with Rockin' Rod Carbuncle

YArrrrr...

Ahoy there pirate music lovers. The whole of Portsmouth is a-buzz with excitement about the upcoming Argghhh-stock Music Festival. Over the weekend, there were several news items to build the excitement about Arrrggg-stock.

1. Prized Poet, Norman Greenplank has sent forth a few political messages to the Royal Navy. Norman has gone on a hunger strike to end taxation in Portmouth Harbour. Norman was sent to lock-up then asked to do 24-hours community service, cleanin' the 'HMS Illustrious' toilets.

2. Incredibly loud supergroup Santa-argghh were been chased around Portsmouth by the local wench population. When interviewed, frontman Carlos 'Black Bart' Santa-arghh, was quoted as sayin 'YArrrr...you should see how attractives Oi am without me wig on'

3. Incredibly 'Sweet' Boyband Take-the-Lot had a few dark secrets plastered across the trashy magazine stands this week. Capn DaveL unleashed a few skeletons out of the closet in 'No Idea' with an article 'Oi wuz a tortured child superstar'. Another 'No Idea' article about Black Spot entitled 'I wuz a land lubber in me former life' also caused much scandal.

4. Another loud act, Motarggghh-head were still down at Madame Fifi's, 1-week later. Their exploits, fully funded by the band's management, has placed grave concerns whether they can make it to the big event, without dyin' from exhaustion.

5. New signin' Blaggard Joey was seen out on the town this week. Joey is known to be quite partial to the odd super model or two. 'Jes don't tell me Mrs' was all he could muster in his defence.

6. Novelty act 'Polly and the Crackers' were seen in the main park scavengin for biscuits. Wild frontman 'Polly bin Cracker al Squwaker' said the lads would later be crusin the town, lookin for some seed and water.

7. Madame Fifi's Electric Can Can Ensemble were nowhere to be seen. See No 4.

8. Brenda McTavish was out on the town with Capn Cronan, promotin' her Sea Shanty album. Brenda was quoted as sayin' that Arggh-stock will be the perfect opportunity to reinforce her status as the 'Queen of Pirate Music'.

9. Rowdy Pirates at Werke frontman Oz_Nick was asked if the lads would be reverting to pyrotechnics during their set. He was quoted as sayin...'Oh you mean the stuff we let off without cannon balls...well no, of course not.'

Well the excitement to Arggh-stock sure is buildin' We'll keep yer posted with another update real soon.

This be Rockin Rod Carbuncle for P-TV, signin off...
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4895
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Postby OZ_Nick on Mon Jul 31, 2006 2:13 am

Yarr!,

Me an' th' boys been werkin' on our next hit, we hopes ye'll loike it:

    Overspill

    I can always sleep
    don't worry 'bout the application
    of rum to my sore feet
    or my doctor's rectal examinaton

    Especially at sea
    there are no situations
    where things will worry me
    because I've got no imaginagation

    Watch after watch nothing appears
    bell after bell my heartbeat shows no fear
    Cronin laughs then fades away

    Alone between the decks
    always brings exhileration
    I'll crack some bottle necks
    oh I'm in anticipation

    So pass my drinking cup
    and with very little variation
    it stupefies the brain
    with overspill

    Watch after watch nothing appears
    bell after bell my heartbeat shows no fear
    Cronin laughs then fades away

    I can always sleep
    don't worry 'bout the application
    of rum to my sore feet
    or my doctor's rectal examinaton

    Especially at sea
    there are no situations
    where things will worry me
    its just overspill

    Watch after watch nothing appears
    bell after bell my heartbeat shows no fear
    Cronin laughs then fades away


Now boys, 'ow are we gunna sneak them cannons on stage? Oi bin talking to th' roadies an' they doan seem too keen. D'yer reckon we could rig up a windlass ov'r th' stage?

Cap'n One-Eye Nick
Purveyor of fine artillery, Deflowerer of wenches, Bounder, Cad
----

Ye may knowe mee better as Cap'n Bluenose
User avatar
OZ_Nick
Stele Second Mate
 
Posts: 445
Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:20 pm
Location: L-Space

Fade

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 31, 2006 10:10 am

Oz Nick wrote:

Cronin laughs then fades away


YYYAAARRR...If only! :?
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby DaveL on Wed Aug 02, 2006 8:56 am

YArrrrr...

Oi heard Tiddles and his Bilge Rat heavy metal band are headin for Arrggghhh-stock. His dark influences may bring a few ringing endorsements from local accordian maestro Jimmy Pageboy. Jimmy was famed for his work on the immortal classic 'Gang Plank to Heaven'.

Jimmy has since become a mentor and manager, wishin to unleash Tiddles at the festival. O'im not sure how the crowd will react to heavy metal sung in the key of 'Miaoowwww' though.
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4895
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Tiddles

Postby black bart on Wed Aug 02, 2006 9:51 am

I expect Tiddles will be doin songs such as:

Cool for cats
Another cat on the wall
Love cats
What's new pussycat
Trampled underpaw (inspired by jimmy pageboy)
etc etc :D
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby DaveL on Fri Aug 04, 2006 8:41 am

YArrrr...

Oi's hear they be planin a cheesy big finale, with all the acts up on stage. It be called 'Big Brenda and the All Sta-aarrgghhs' (think of those daggy benefit concerts).

They be plannin' to do a big corny set of well worn rock cliches like 'Roll Over Bart-hoven' 'Johhny B. Peg' and 'I ate the Walrus...Kookookejoo'

There will be 20 pirates playin rhythm guitars, 6 drummers and everyone else banging tambourines.

All those egos on stage in one hit, promises to be extremely excitcin'. Oi'll be chewin me own arm off to go see that one!!
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4895
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Burial at sea

Postby black bart on Fri Aug 04, 2006 9:54 am

The Black Spot's version o 'Ben' as come in roight handy.

The ship's cook died when he accidently swallowed a weevil what at been in the Fish Head Stew. No bugger loiked the sod cos his cooking were dreadful. Twere lookin to be an embarrisin burial at sea with dry eyes all round when I played 'Ben' over the ship's tannoy and every man jack o the crew burst into tears as the cook slipped into the briny.

The Bilge Rats were happy though - they wont be needed fer the ratatouille no more! :D
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby The Black Spot on Fri Aug 04, 2006 12:44 pm

Arrr...

Me an DaveL have t' go back to the tailors tomorrer to 'ave some alterations done on our outfits.

It seems that me an DaveL's voices not really be suited fer reachin all the high notes in Take the Lot's playlist. Our manager 'as suggested that some extra tight trousers might 'elp a bit.
User avatar
The Black Spot
Stripmeister
 
Posts: 2277
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:55 pm
Location: England

Postby DaveL on Sun Aug 06, 2006 3:30 am

YArrrr...

More cheesy moments are planned for Aaarrggghh-stock. Lots of banners sayin' 'end world scurvy'. The werse bit is those 'CHOOSE CITRUS' T-Shirts to be on sale througout the ground. George Michael eat yer heart out!
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4895
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Tears

Postby black bart on Mon Aug 07, 2006 10:38 am

YYYAAARRR...we needs to show videos with tearful TV celebrities goin round helpin Scurvy ridden Pirates...

Perhaps I could ave a tearful Angelina Joli comin aboard me ship...I'll cut the crew's fruit rations down from one apple a month to alf a grape...that'l bring em out in boils in no time! :fsm_yarr:
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby The Black Spot on Fri Aug 11, 2006 9:27 am

Arrrr...

we 'ad that Bob Geldoff on me ship once. What started out as an interview wi' me crew ended up as a swearin' contest.

That Geldoff bloke 'ad no chance. I has some real experts in me crew.
User avatar
The Black Spot
Stripmeister
 
Posts: 2277
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:55 pm
Location: England

Live Aid

Postby black bart on Fri Aug 11, 2006 9:31 am

Get on de telephone and give me yer ******* dubloons now! :D
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby DaveL on Sun Aug 13, 2006 6:02 pm

YArrrrr...

Oi wunders how you'd semaphore ye Visa Card number without a hundred odd crewman foindin out?
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4895
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Visa

Postby black bart on Mon Aug 14, 2006 7:31 am

YYYAARRRR...we needs Pay PAAAAARRRRRRGHL! :D
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

PreviousNext

Return to Pirate Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron