A P-TV ARRRRGGHH-STOCK UPDATE
with Rockin' Rod Carbuncle
Ahoy there pirate music lovers. The whole of Portsmouth is a-buzz with excitement about the upcoming Argghhh-stock Music Festival. Over the weekend, there were several news items to build the excitement about Arrrggg-stock.
1. Prized Poet, Norman Greenplank has sent forth a few political messages to the Royal Navy. Norman has gone on a hunger strike to end taxation in Portmouth Harbour. Norman was sent to lock-up then asked to do 24-hours community service, cleanin' the 'HMS Illustrious' toilets.
2. Incredibly loud supergroup Santa-argghh were been chased around Portsmouth by the local wench population. When interviewed, frontman Carlos 'Black Bart' Santa-arghh, was quoted as sayin 'YArrrr...you should see how attractives Oi am without me wig on'
3. Incredibly 'Sweet' Boyband Take-the-Lot had a few dark secrets plastered across the trashy magazine stands this week. Capn DaveL unleashed a few skeletons out of the closet in 'No Idea' with an article 'Oi wuz a tortured child superstar'. Another 'No Idea' article about Black Spot entitled 'I wuz a land lubber in me former life' also caused much scandal.
4. Another loud act, Motarggghh-head were still down at Madame Fifi's, 1-week later. Their exploits, fully funded by the band's management, has placed grave concerns whether they can make it to the big event, without dyin' from exhaustion.
5. New signin' Blaggard Joey was seen out on the town this week. Joey is known to be quite partial to the odd super model or two. 'Jes don't tell me Mrs' was all he could muster in his defence.
6. Novelty act 'Polly and the Crackers' were seen in the main park scavengin for biscuits. Wild frontman 'Polly bin Cracker al Squwaker' said the lads would later be crusin the town, lookin for some seed and water.
7. Madame Fifi's Electric Can Can Ensemble were nowhere to be seen. See No 4.
8. Brenda McTavish was out on the town with Capn Cronan, promotin' her Sea Shanty album. Brenda was quoted as sayin' that Arggh-stock will be the perfect opportunity to reinforce her status as the 'Queen of Pirate Music'.
9. Rowdy Pirates at Werke frontman Oz_Nick was asked if the lads would be reverting to pyrotechnics during their set. He was quoted as sayin...'Oh you mean the stuff we let off without cannon balls...well no, of course not.'
Well the excitement to Arggh-stock sure is buildin' We'll keep yer posted with another update real soon.
This be Rockin Rod Carbuncle for P-TV, signin off...