Aaaarggh-stock: A concert to end scurvy and global warming

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Aaaarggh-stock: A concert to end scurvy and global warming

Postby DaveL on Tue Jul 11, 2006 6:05 am

AARGGGGHH-STOCK - A CONCERT TO END SCURVY AND GLOBAL WARMING

Three Days of Pillaging, Plundering and Piracy…

Yarrrrrrr…now the World Cup’s over and we all be rich and famous Oi’s been thinking about what us Pirates can do next. Since we have shown the world we can behave extremely badly in front of a global audience, why not stage a rock concert to end scurvy and fight global warming.

Back in the 1985 and 2005, Sir Bob Geldorf managed to pull all the musicians of the world together to ‘feed the world’ and suspend 3rd World debt. Well sort of...it made us feel good if anything..YArrrr!

So imagine what us Pirates can do bein’ violent, obnoxious and rowdy. YArrrrrrrr…!!!

Rock n’roll can change the world (ay Bono!!, ay John Lennon!!) so they say. So to kick off this momentous occasion, we’ll need to do the followin’:

1. Think of your favourite rock/pop/hip hop/boy band/heavy metal act…..(ok, done?)

2. Now add an eye patch, peg leg, parrot and tricorn hat to Step 1(Oi can think of a few)

3. Give ‘em a Piratey name (Anything with Arghhh, Blaggard or Scumbag will do for starters)

4. Insert yourself into the act as a member/manager/groupie etc.

5. Work on your act/songs/characters.

Hoity toity fits, public spats, drunken incidents and fights with the paparazzi are encouraged. Yarrrr!

Me and Black Spot have been thinking about startin’ a Pirate Boy band called ‘Take-the-Lot!’. There be rumours that Bart, Plank, Griffin Oz_Nick and others are lookin' for a new career as well.

We’ll be havin’ a few warm up gigs before the big event, so start postin’ your ideas/songs/characterisations. Together let the 'Pirate Music Industry' solve the world’s scurvy and global warmin’ problems.

Or else 'Take-the-Lot' will be forced to sing for 3-days in a row. YArrrr!!

‘Feed the lads....Let them all eat oranges…Feed the lads...Let them get some Vitamin C’
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New Single

Postby DaveL on Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:10 am

YArrrr...

'Ere be Take-the-Lot's openin' number for the Aaargh-stock Festival. It be called...'Sendin Me an Orange With Love.'

It be our first single off the new album comin' out...only 10 dubloon at yer local Pirate Music outlet.

cue sappy music

Verse 1

DaveL: Baby, Baby O'is been out at sea so long...
Spot: An Oi got a feelin' a feelin that's real strong...
DaveL: Vitamin C deficiency, is startin to kick in...
Spot: Can't kiss you baby cause I've got a spongy chin...

Chorus
(Together in harmony)

So you'll be sendin me an orange with love...oooooo
Sendin me an orange with love...ooooo
Been chased by the Royal Navy, they got me on the run
Gotta get myself some citrus or I get bleedin' gums...
Bleedin Gums!

Verse 2

DaveL: Baby Baby ain't had fruit for so long
Spot: Me skins all spotty, breath's startin to pong
DaveL: No sign of vegies, been eatin fish head stew
Spot: Can't hug you baby, malnutrition's got me blue

Chorus
(Together in harmony)

So you'll be sendin me an orange with love...oooooo
Sendin me an orange with love...ooooo
Been chased by the Royal Navy, they got me on the run
Gotta get myself some citrus or I get bleedin' gums...
Bleedin Gums!

Cue cheesy guitar solo

Verse 3 (no music)

DaveL: Baby Baby my bruises they won't heal
Spot: And I've got joint pains, do you know how I might feel
DaveL: Got premature baldness, my hair ain't there no more
Spot: Gonna hit the juice bar, when I get back on shore

Chorus
(Together in harmony)

So you'll be sendin me an orange with love...oooooo
Sendin me an orange with love...ooooo
Been chased by the Royal Navy, they got me on the run
Gotta get myself some citrus or I get bleedin' gums...
Bleedin Gums!

repeat with big finish
:cry: :mrgreen:
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Carlos

Postby black bart on Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:44 am

I think I might team up with me Columbian Football friend Carlos, and form the Supergroup:

'SANTAAAAAAAAARGHNA!'

I'll try and get a photo of the group in action for publicity purposes.

Some of our numbers:

Oye Como VAAAARRRRRRGH

Samba AAAARRRRRGH te

Black Eye Patched Woman

We'll be a colourful spectacle you can bet!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby boghog on Tue Jul 11, 2006 12:54 pm

I'm in the midst of training my all-parrot group, Polly and the Crackers, to perform renditions of "Lemon" by U2 and "Orange Crush" by REM for the concert.

At the end of the set, they'll grab little smoke-writing machines, take to the air and skywrite "END SCURVY NOW!" over the crowd.
Now Hypercaffeinated! Share and Enjoy!

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Postby DaveL on Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:41 pm

YArrrr...

Good work lads. That's four new acts scheduled for Argghh-stock. Oi forget to tell yers about the Headliner acts scheduled for Day 3.

Brenda McTavish has confirmed that she WILL be performin at Argghh-Stock. Extra provision planning will be needed for the Big Girl. Madame Fifi has confirmed 'The MFF Electric Can-Can Ensemble' will also be performin'...
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Postby OZ_Nick on Tue Jul 11, 2006 7:40 pm

Yarr,

Well, Oi's got tergether wiv a couple of me crew and we've form Pirates at Werke. We be jest arangin our first single: Down Undaaaarrrggghhh!

    Was sailing in a clapped-out cutter
    With a pirate sail, bread rum and butter
    I met a strange "lady", with hairy legs and
    A five o'clock shadow and arms with tatts on
    And "she" said,

    Do you come from the sea down undaaarrrggghhh?
    Where dead men go and pirates plunder?
    Can you hear, can you hear guns thunder?
    You better run, you better take cover.

    Stealing bread from a man in Brussels
    He was six foot four and eatin' mussels
    I said, do you speak pirate language?
    He just smiled and gave me a red-cow sandwich
    And he said,

    I come from a sea down undaaaarrrggghhh
    Where rum does flow and buckos chunder
    Can you hear, can you hear guns thunder?
    You better run, you better take cover.

    Layin' seige to a place in Bombay
    With cutlass drawn, not much left to say
    I said to the man, you're goin' to cop it
    If you don't stop trying to make me stop it
    And he said,

    Oh! do you come from a sea down undaaaarrrggghhh? (oh yeah yeah)
    Where dead men go and pirates plunder?
    Can you hear, can you hear guns thunder?
    You better run, you better take cover.

It be a gentle little ditty, d'yer fink the punters'll go fer it?

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Postby DaveL on Wed Jul 12, 2006 8:17 am

YArrrrr...

It looks like we've got enough acts for Day 1. I've booked the Scurvy Rex stadium in Portsmouth for the big event.
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Postby The Black Spot on Wed Jul 12, 2006 12:06 pm

Me an Cap'n DaveL will be performin' a song made famous by the veteran rock band Who-You-Lookin-At:

Cannonball Wizard

Ever since I was a young boy,
I've fired the iron ball.
From Portsmouth down to Cape Town,
I must have shot them all.
But I ain't seen nothing like him,
in any port of call,
My new chief gunner Sid,
Sure fires a cannonball.

He's a cannonball wizard
He'll turn your ship to junk
He's a cannonball wizard
One look and you'll be sunk.

How do you think he does it?
(I don't know)
What makes him so good?

He stands like a statue,
Works out trajectories.
He uses shortened fuses,
Sinks those ships with ease.
He's Death upon the gundeck,
He doesn't miss at all,
My new chief gunner Sid,
Sure fires a cannonball.
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Postby walktheplank on Thu Jul 13, 2006 9:54 am

I wrote this song as a memory of the days when I pinched The Black Spot and Dave L's Rum. I be happy to perform this as a solo artist at the festival if you make sure that these blaggards leave me alone. Me stage name is Norman Greenplank as a tribute to the original version of this song.

UNTIL I AM DEAD – A prophetic poem by Norman Greenplank

When I die in a vicious attack
Spot and Dave L will give me a slap
When they stab me in the head
They’ll never stop until I am dead

They’ll never stop until I am dead, Until I am Dead
My clothes are all coloured red, coloured red
Then they’ll throw me in the sea
Not very nice I am sure you’ll agree

What do I do who can I see
Gotta find a friend somewhere at sea
To stop the brains coming out my head
They’ll never stop until I am dead

They’ll never stop until I am dead, Until I am Dead
My clothes are all coloured red, coloured red
Then they’ll throw me in the sea
Not very nice I am sure you’ll agree

I know I robbed them of money and rum
Not very clever, I know I am dumb
Now they’ll stab me in the head
They’ll never stop until I am dead

They’ll never stop until I am dead, Until I am Dead
My clothes are all coloured red, coloured red
Then they’ll throw me in the sea
Not very nice I am sure you’ll agree
Not very nice I am sure you’ll agree
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
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Meditation

Postby black bart on Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:00 am

Still trying to get publicity shots o SANTAAAARRRGHNA...tis difficult as the band ave gone out into the desert to meditate and to search for the perfect guitar riff!

Here are some recent lyrics though:

Got a Black Eye Patched Woman
I've got a Black eye patched woman
Yeah...
I've got a black eye patched woman
Only out of one eye can she see
I've got a black eye patched woman
She tryin to make a Pirate out o me
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby DaveL on Thu Jul 13, 2006 5:39 pm

YArrrrr...

Welcome Norman, we's bin tryin to sign yer up for a while. We need a few poet types at the festival.
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Postby The Meromorph on Thu Jul 13, 2006 5:52 pm

Aaargbh, It's a good thing Alcohol Boy straightened up 'is act, 'cos Pirate Floyd will be performing the entire album "Dark Side o' the Plank" starting at 3:00 a.m.
Laughing in the rain.
Dancing in the desert sand,
Somersaults through life.
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Postby The Black Spot on Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:49 pm

Arrr...

Me an DaveL - I means Take the Lot - have been recording a new ballarrrrd that has a similar tune t' Rod Stewart's "Sailing".

Sinking

We are sinking, we are sinking
We are heading for the drink
We are sinking, in the water
Who's to blame - who do you think?

We are hanging, on to wreckage
We're not swimming, we're clinging on
Only one man, could have sunk us,
It's that Jonah, Captain Cronan.

Can you hear us, can you hear us
screaming vegeance, with no life boat.
If I ever, get back to dry land
I'll wrap my hands round Cronan's throat.

We are sinking, we are sinking
Davy Jones, here we come
Into shark in-fested waters
Even me pegleg's feeling numb.
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Postby OZ_Nick on Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:47 pm

Yarr Spot, that be beautiful - a ballad ter bring tears ter any crusty old sea dog's eyes.

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Postby DaveL on Fri Jul 14, 2006 8:22 am

YArrrr...

O'im busy negotiatin the worlds best concertina player Jimmi Arggh-drix to play a set. He can play it with his teeth, above his head and upside down all at once apparently.
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