Match Report: Piratica vs The Dribblin Parrot Hotel
In a bold move, Piratica Coach Auntie Dee Dee employed a 6-7-5 formation. 'owever the referee said that only eleven be allowed on the pitch at once, so she reverted to a traditional 4-4-2 lineup:
...............................Dr Otis Lansa
Walktheplank.........Meromorph........ Dead Poet...........Griffin
subs: E.Raser, Alpaca, KC Observer, Tex, Teripie, Tickle, Duke, The Black Spot
The game got off to a spirited start when a fight broke out during the coin toss, and six Piratica players received a yellow card before the kick off.
Kick off: Piratica 0 Dribblin Parrot 0
02.13 Team captain DaveL gets into the thick of the action early, with a sliding tackle on DPH's centre forward. Unfortunately, the ball was in the other half of the pitch. Yellow card.
06.12 Dead Poet's peg leg gets stuck in a divot, and he loses possession at the edge of the penalty area.
06.15 GOAL 0-1: Tremendous shot by DPH's attacking midfielder. Piratica's goalie Dr Otis Lansa gets a hook to it, but the (punctured) ball goes into the net.
06.16 Fight breaks out.
09.30 Defensive clearance by Qwertyuiopasd. Followed by offensive kick to knackers of DPH player when the ref's not looking.
09.32 Fight breaks out.
14.12 Swatopluk gets the ball in the six yard box and clears to Griffin. Griffin sends a 40 yard crossfield pass to Walktheplank who runs up the wing. Unfortunately, Walktheplank is a long distance runner and not a sprinter. He jogs up the field and is caught and dispossessed by 3 DPH players.
17.02 SENDING OFF: Meromorph receives straight red card for illegal use of the cutlass. Opposing player carried off on several stretchers.
23.06 Referee asks Auntie Dee Dee to substitute Dr Otis Lansa. His hook keeps puncturing the ball, and the ref's worried that there aren't enough footballs left to finish the game. E Raser comes on as goal keeper.
31.08 GOAL 1-1: Breaking from defense, Miss Capellini floats a ball to Beagle, who traps it with his crutch and delivers a brilliant cross to Black Bart who scores with a diving header. DPH protest that the ball went in off Bart's parrot and not his head, but the goal stands.
31.11 Fight breaks out. Sound of musket fire from the dug-out.
35.00 SUBSTITUTION: Duke replaces Walktheplank.
45.00 HALF TIME 1-1
47.00 RED CARD: Black Bart dismissed for poisoning DPH's half time oranges.
Second half to follow: unless someone else wants a go.