Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby black bart on Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:03 am

The truth is the family took over and I lost all control...good laugh though. Next time we'll act out the Tale bit as well complete with props and sound effects.
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby DavidH on Wed Feb 10, 2010 9:35 am

'Twas a foine piece o' avast-guard film makin there, shipmate. I put ee in for thee canned fillum festival.
:worship:
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby black bart on Wed Feb 10, 2010 11:53 am

DavidH wrote:'Twas a foine piece o' avast-guard film makin there, shipmate. I put ee in for thee canned fillum festival.
:worship:


Avast-guard...I loiks it. :haha:
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby Roland Deschain on Thu Feb 25, 2010 9:28 pm

That be a chillin’ tale ye be tellin’ there, but nothin' be so far fetched as me own loife story. It started a long toime ago on a sea far, far away...

A New Pirate

It be a toime of hintrigue and doiabolicle plots. Oi be a simple farm boy back then, livin' wiv' me uncle and auntie in Piratooine, as me parents 'ad passed away years afore. One day we acquired a new couple o' farm'ands to 'elp out. One o' 'em spoke many languages and told me they used to be deck'ands on a foine ship. Somethin' oi 'ad always wanted to do was sail the hoigh seas. On the second day o' ownin' 'em, one of 'em ran away into the woild. Me an' the other farm'and went after 'im. We found 'im ('e was slow due to 'is peg leg) but were attacked by raiders. This strange man in pirate regalia then came along and scared 'em away. 'Is place was near, so we went there first to 'elp the farm'and out. It was then that the stranger, Pirate Master Kenobi, told me that me father used to be a famous pirate, one o' the most famous o' all. It were then that 'e gave me me father's cutlass. Oi 'ad no idea that this were true. Oi was always told that 'e were a simple deck'and who lost 'is loife in a pointless great war. The blade were loike nothin' oi'd ever seen, brilliantly shoinin' in the loight o' the sun, an' as sharp as a Kraken's tongue. Pirate Master Kenobi offered to take me onto a ship on the high seas and live the life of a pirate, but oi 'ad to 'elp out on the farm that year. 'E took me 'ome, but some raiders 'ad killed me aunt an' uncle, so oi went wiv 'im and accepted ‘im as me mentor.

We went to a place called Port Oisley. Oi'd never seen such a hoive of scum and villainy. It were amazin'! The four o' us went to a dockside bar called Chalmun's to foind a vessel to hoire. We found a pirate by the name of Hook Solo, wiv ‘is first mate Piracca, an ‘Ippie by the look of ‘im. 'E offered to take us across the sea to Pirateraan, an 'aven fer pirates, on 'is ship, The Mighty Falcon. It 'ad done the Piressel run in less than twelve leagues. Oi didn't understand an' told me master that oi 'ad a bad feelin' about this, but Pirate Master Kenobi was impressed, so we took 'im up on the offer. We sailed fer weeks. In this toime, oi were taught the ways of the pirate. Oi were learnin’ ‘ow to not only man the ship, but also to use the cutlass and the pistol. One day oi remember Pirate Master Kenobi puttin’ ‘is ‘and to ‘is ‘ead and sittin’ down. Oi asked ‘im what were wrong, an’ ‘e told me that somethin’ terrible ‘ad ‘appened, an’ that it were as if a million pirate voices ‘ad just cried out “Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggg!”. Oi carried on me trainin’ at ‘is request, an’ ‘e recovered quickly.

When we got within soight of Pirateraan, we saw that it lay in ruins. There were almost nothin’ standin’ in the port city. As we got nearer, we came across a government ship called the Death Ship; the biggest ship oi 'ad ever seen. It were 'uge, wiv cannon that seemed to go on fer moiles. We 'id in the pirate 'old afore we were boarded and were able to sneak across to the other ship without bein' seen. We 'id in some crates, but they were taken down to the 'old o' this ship where they kept their prisoners. When the coast were clear, so to speak, we snuck out and looked in the cells. In one we found the most beautiful wench oi 'ad ever seen. Oi was in love at first soite. Pirate Master Kenobi knew 'er and said that this were none other than the pirate princess 'erself. We rescued 'er an' went to escape to The Mighty Falcon. Pirate Master Kenobi went off on 'is own to quieten the guards as we made our way to the ship. Just as we were about to board, oi saw the Pirate Master foightin' a vicious lookin' man in a black robe who oi later found out were Darth Pirader, Governor of the seven seas, second only to Supreme Governor Piratine. As oi were about to go over an’ ‘elp ‘im foight this man, ‘e were struck down. Oi were devastated! ‘E’d been me mentor and ‘e ‘ad promised to ‘elp me learn the ways o’ the pirates.

Luckily, we managed to escape, as The Mighty Falcon were a fast little ship. It could make point foive above Knot Speed. Oi grieved fer me one-toime mentor on the journey outta there, but oi didn’t ‘ave toime to grieve fer too long, as they sent a couple a sloops after us. Me an’ Hook Solo manned the cannon. It were a good battle, and the first toime oi ‘ad got to use me new found skills, but we sunk the sloops. Our ship were fast, but the Death Ship never left the ‘orizon of our view from the crow’s nest. Toime were of the essence.

We got to a secret pirate stronghold on an island just off the coast of Pirin IV with the Death Ship less than a day away. The pirate princess ‘anded over some plans o’ the Death Ship, and a weakness were found. Around the back o’ the ship were an ‘ole where they emptied the septic tank from. It were large enough fer a cannon shot, but only just. A plan were formulated where we could attack the Death Ship followin’ in its wake to get more speed. It were then up to a pirate ship to fire a cannon shot into the ‘ole an’ ignite the septic tank. Some o’ the pirates there didn’t think it were possible, but oi told ‘em that oi used to do this koind o’ thing back ‘ome with the rats on the farm, an' they not be much bigger than a cannon ball.

We all went to our ships fer the battle as the Death Ship were getting’ almost close enough fer its cannon to be in range. The battle were fierce, an’ many sacrifices were made. One ship almost made it, but their cannon shot impacted on the sides, so it were our turn to ‘ave a go. We approached the back of the ship at full sail as oi manned the cannon. Oi were loinin’ up the cannon to get the target when oi ‘eard a voice in me ‘ead. “Use yer piratin’ skills an’ be usin’ a spyglass” it said. It sounded loike Pirate Master Kenobi. Oi got out me spyglass an’ it were much easier to loine it up. Just as the septic tank ‘ole were in me cross’airs, oi fired the cannon. When the shot went in, oi couldn’t believe me eyes. We ‘ad done it! As the pirate fleet left quickly, there be an almighty hexploshun. The Death Ship ‘ad blown up, so the fleet left fer the island and an almighty celebrayshun. Never ‘ad oi seen so much grog an’ so many strippers. Oi'll never forget that day.

This be all fer now. There be more, but that be a story fer another toime…
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby black bart on Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:32 am

The Death Ship ‘ad blown up, so the fleet left fer the island and an almighty celebrayshun. Never ‘ad oi seen so much grog an’ so many strippers. Oi'll never forget that day.


Did Cap'n D'arrrrghth Vader survive though?
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby Roland Deschain on Sat Feb 27, 2010 10:09 am

Ye'll 'ave to be patient for an answer to thattook me a while to concoct that one. Oi'll be postin' the second part o' me loife story soon though. Arrrrgggggg.
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby pieces o'nine on Mon Mar 01, 2010 7:51 pm

Hit brought a teare t'me wun good oi.

The farce be strong in this wun!
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby black bart on Tue Mar 02, 2010 6:57 am

pieces o'nine wrote:Hit brought a teare t'me wun good oi.

The farce be strong in this wun!


Sorry Pieces but I'll ave ta set thee crocs on ye fer that one:

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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby Roland Deschain on Tue Mar 02, 2010 12:09 pm

The farce is indeed strong with this one. Oi meself love a good pun. Oi now be ready fer the second part o' me loife story, one o’ the darkest periods o’ pirate ‘istory...

The Governmint foights baaarrrrggggghhhhhk

Oi stayed with the pirates fer another 2 years, fightin' in skirmishes 'ere and there an' practising me pirate skills. We 'ad established a base in the Aaaaarrrrrrrrggggggtic where we thought we'd be safe fer a while, but we were wrong. Oi went out on patrol and were attacked by the natives of the Aaaaarrrrrrrrggggggtic. Oi managed to escape usin' me pirate skills, but were very weak. Before oi passed out, oi 'ad a vision o' Pirate Master Kenobi, or 'is ghost at least, tellin' me to visit an old Pirate Master by the name 'o Yodaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh who lived in the swamps of the island of Degobaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh. Hook Solo found and rescued me, but then the damn governmint 'ad found us and we were fighting fer our lives. All o' our ships managed to escape. Oi 'ad me own ship by then and went off in search of Degobaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh and Yodaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh.

Hook Solo and the Pirate Princess were on the Mighty Falcon and 'ad been trapped in a nasty reef. The governmint ships couldn't get in, so they left; assuming, wrongly, that the Mighty Falcon would be dashed on the reef and kill all aboard. Hook Solo were a better pirate than they knew and the Mighty Falcon weren't as damaged as they thought, so they started to limp off to see a friend o’ Hook Solo who owned a mining colony in the area. Unbeknownst to them, they were bein’ follered by a bounty ‘unter by the name o’ Bobirate. ‘E were the worst bounty ‘unter on the seven seas, an’ one you never wanted on yer tail.

Now oi didn't know all this at the time, as oi 'ad just found the island o' Pirate Master Yodaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh, but at the proice o’ me ship bein' stuck on a sand bank. Oi met a small man with a pegleg when oi started to explore an' 'e said that 'e would take me to Pirate Master Yodaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh. Oi were excited that oi would be able to continue me trainin' properly. Oi 'ad come a long way with me skills, but there were things oi needed to know that only a Pirate Master could teach. 'E took me to 'is 'ome and offered me some pasta and grog, as is the tradition amongst us pirates, but oi started to get impatient. Oi were young an' oi wanted to find Yodaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh. 'E started talking to 'imself an' then oi 'eard the ghost o' Pirate Master Kenobi talkin' as well. It were then that oi realised that this were Pirate Master Yodaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh that 'ad found me. Oi were shocked ter say the least! 'E didn't want to teach me, as 'e said that oi were impulsive, but oi pledged me allegiance to 'im an' 'e capitulated.

So me trainin’ ‘ad begun. ‘E worked me very ‘ard, day an’ noight. ‘E forced me to carry the riggin’ all by meself, run fer moiles and moiles, climb ter the crow’s nest with one ‘and, then use me cutlass to cut me way down the sails to the deck. It were very toirin’ to do. One day ‘e came up ter me an’ said it were time to get me ship off the sand banks. Oi said that it couldn’t be done, but oi’d try an’ ‘e said “Be a pirate or not be a pirate. There is no try”. Oi did try to do it, but oi were not strong enough to push it off, even at high tide. ‘E were disappointed, so ‘e said the ‘e could do it. Oi didn’t believe ‘im, so ‘e said “Judge me by me pegleg, do ya? Yer scurvy sea dog!”. ‘E then got in the water, pegleg an’ all, an’ pushed it off wi’ one ‘and. Oi said that that were impossible, an’ ‘e told me that were why oi failed. Oi then tried much ‘arder after that.

A couple a weeks later, Yodaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh gave me what ‘e called Magic Pasta™. ‘E then put me in a freaky lookin’ pirate ship and leaves me. Oi ‘ad a vision that oi were fightin’ Darth Pirader. Oi cut ‘is ‘ead off an’ ‘e looked like me! Oi were very shocked at this. Pirate Master Yodaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh were disappointed that oi ‘ad failed the great pirate test. Oi were sad at this as well, but again resolved to overcome me fears an’ failin’s. A few weeks later still, oi ‘ad a flashback to the Magic Pasta™. This time oi saw me friends in terrible pain bein’ tortured. Oi said to Pirate Master Yodaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh that oi needed to rescue ‘em and that oi would be back to complete me trainin’ later.

It took me a while ter find the minin’ colony. It were bein’ owned by an ex-pirate by the name o’ Pirissian. I were allowed into the mines, whose entrance were ‘alfway up a mountain, but it were a trap. Darth Pirader were there waitin’ fer me. ‘E were a beast of a man! Two peglegs an’ two ‘ooks with an eyepatch an’ the ugliest lookin’ parrot you ever did see. ‘E were more prosthetic than man. Oi drew me cutlass an’ assumed the foightin’ position. We must ‘ave fought fer a long time, because oi were gettin’ very tired. ‘E were flingin’ barrels o’ grog an’ saucepans o’ pasta at me with ‘is ‘ook ‘and. By this time we ‘ad made our way to a cliff face where one ‘o the exits to the mine came out. ‘E ‘ad forced me to the edge an’ oi lost me concentration. ‘E cut me ‘and off in one slice! Oi were in bad pain. Very bad pain. It were then that ‘e decided to tell me somethin’. Somethin’ that shook me to the core of me bein’. ‘E said to me “Pirate Master Kenobi never told you the truth about your farther, did ‘e?”. Oi replied that ‘e ‘ad told me enough. That ‘e, Darth Pirader, ‘ad killed me farther in the war. Darth Pirader then told me what shook me to the core…”Roland. I am your farther”. Oi didn’t know ‘ow to respond. Oi were shocked. I didn’t want to believe the lie, but there were somethin’ within me what believed it, although oi tried to ignore it. There were nothin’ fer me ter do but let go of everythin’ an’ jump off the cliff into the sea.

The pirate princess, Piracca an’ Pirissian ‘ad managed to escape and recapture the Mighty Falcon. They found me in the water an’ rescued me in me poor state. They took me to a pirate medical frigate where the ship’s doctors were able to give me an ‘ook. It were after the operation that they told me what oi ‘adn’t known at that point. Hook Solo ‘ad been captured, wrapped in the paralysin’ tentacle o’ a Kraken, an’ taken by the bounty ‘unter to a pirate lord. We all decided to rescue ‘im, but that be another story fer another day…
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby pieces o'nine on Tue Mar 02, 2010 10:14 pm

Yarrrgh!

These arrrgh not thee cabbin bouys yer lookin for!
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby black bart on Thu Mar 04, 2010 7:12 am

yarrrr I be admoirin this new teller o the Tales...he be even more long winded than ol Planky himself!

I found a picture o Yodarrrgh:

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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby pieces o'nine on Thu Mar 04, 2010 10:48 pm

Yarrrrgh! 'E be a fearsum pyrate, wif 'is eerily glowin loight-cutlass an awl.
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby Roland Deschain on Sat Mar 13, 2010 3:12 am

Yaaarrrggghhh! Yodaaarrrggghhh not be much to look at, but 'e be one o' the fiercest pirates oi ever met, if not the fiercest. 'E were old. Very old. But 'e could take on a Kraken wiv one 'and, so 'e could. Oi were polishing me 'ook today and it remoinded me ter come 'ere an' finish me story what oi started...

Return o’ the Pirates (aka Pirate ‘Arvest)

It 'ad been several months o' plannin' after we'd decided to rescue Hook Solo when we came ter the operayshun itself. Durin’ this toime, oi practised the arts o’ the pirate that Pirate Master Yodaaarrrggghhh ‘ad taught me until oi were almost as good as ‘e were. Oi ‘ad also lost me farther’s sword when me ‘and ‘ad been chopped off, so oi ‘ad to make a new one, as is tradition among the pirates. It were very much like me father’s, but ‘ad a green gem on the ‘ilt instead of the blue one that ‘is ‘ad. The preperations took a long toime, but we were finally ready ter go.

The two deck'ands went to the brothel o' the Pirate Lord, who called 'imself Pirate Hutt and sold illegal pizza outta the back streets o' Piratooine, wiv a message from me sayin' that oi'd gladly trade 'em in fer Hook Solo. Oi knew that 'e would not accept it straight away, as Pirissian were already in the brothel as a bodyguard (some o' them customers were nasty toipes). After me deck'ands 'ad gone in, the Pirate Princess went there in disguise, but she 'ad taken Piracca with 'er. She told Pirate Hutt that she 'ad caught 'im an’ wanted the reward. She stayed there that noight and was ter try an' get Hook Solo outta the brothel before oi got there. When it got ter midnoight, oi realised that she 'ad failed an' were caught! It were then me job ter go in there in the mornin' ter rescue 'em all.

Oi got there in the mornin', an' 'ad ter use me pirate skills ter get past the guards. Slimy buggers they were, aaarrrggghhh. Oi were in front o' the Pirate Lord 'imslef an' oi pleaded me case fer gettin' Hook Solo back. The Pirate Princess were chained up in front o' 'im, wearin' nuthin' but a metal bikini. She looked amazin', but oi knew that 'er an' Hook Solo were in love, so oi didn't look too much. There were somethin' else stoppin’ me lookin’ as well, but it were at the back o' me moind an' oi didn't know what it were. Anyway, oi didn’t realise that Pirate Hutt ‘ad a trapdoor leadin’ to a secret chamber, an’ that oi were standin’ on it. ‘E pulled a lever an’ the floor below me gave way, droppin’ me inter some water. Oi ‘eard a gate liftin’, an’ there it was. A Giant Orthocone! A nasty beast o’ the sea. It came fer me with speed, but oi ducked outta the way in toime to avoid it an’ ‘id under a crease in some rocks. It lunged fer me again, so oi ‘it its tentacles with a rock an’ it fell back. Oi made a run fer it, but it caught me an’ started ter pull me towards its mouth. Just as oi were about ter be eaten, oi used me ‘ook to attack it an’ it dropped me. Oi ran into its lair and started ter close the gate just as it were comin’ through, trappin’ an’ killin’ it. Needless ter say, Pirate Hutt were not too pleased, so ‘e took us all out to ‘is ship ter feed us to the Kraken.

We sailed out ter the Kraken’s lair and were made to stand near the plank. We were all there except the deck’ands, who Pirate Hutt ‘ad underestimated. Oi ‘ad ‘idden me sword in one o’ the deck’ands’ fake arms. Just as oi jumped off the plank, oi turned around an’ grabbed it, flingin’ meself up inter the air. The deck’and then threw me sword inter the air an’ I caught it. A great swordfight then ensued. It were long an’ bloody, but we managed to jump overboard inter a waitin’ skiff, just after the other deck’and set loight to one o’ the gunpowder barrels. As we sailed away fer the shore, there were an almighty exploshun, an’ Pirate Hutt’s ship sank inter the sea, takin’ all ‘ands with ‘er. We got back to the shore an’ went to our own ships. Piracca, Pirissian, the Pirate Princess and Hook Solo went to the Mighty Falcon, but oi went to me own small ship, The Cross’air’s Wing, with the intent o’ goin’ back to see Pirate Master Yodaaarrrggghhh an’ completin’ me pirate trainin’.

Oi got ter Degobaaarrrggghhh, but the Pirate Master were very ill, an’ ‘e said that ‘e were dying. Oi said that oi ‘ad come back ter complete me trainin’, but ‘e told me oi didn’t ‘ave ter train any more. Were it true that oi be a real pirate now? Oi asked ‘im if Darth Pirader were me farther, an’ ‘e told me that it were true. Oi ‘ad known it were true from me pirate feelin’s, but there were somethin’ else there as well. Yodaaarrrggghhh died there in front o’ me oies. Oi felt sad, but knew that ‘e were now with more strippers an’ grog than ‘e could ever ‘andle. Oi went outside ‘is ‘ome an’ the ghost o’ Pirate Master Kenobi appeared before me. Oi asked ‘im about this feelin’ that oi ‘ad, an’ ‘e told me that oi ‘ad a sister. It were then that oi realised that the Pirate Princess were me sister. Imagine me shock, an’ after me oglin’ ‘er in that loverly metal bikini. Oi wish oi ‘adn’t taken photos now! ‘E told me that we were twins, an’ we ‘ad to be ‘idden from our farther or we’d be workin’ fer the government. Oi understood. Oi needed to confront me farther again. There were still some pirate left in ‘im, oi’d felt it when we fought back in the moine. Oi left that place feelin’ troubled, yet now knowin’ what oi ‘ad ter do.

When oi got back to the pirate ‘oideout, oi found out that the governmint ‘ad made another Death Ship, this toime much bigger than the first, an’ without the failin’s of it. We ‘ad a big meetin’ with all the pirates, where we found out that our spies ‘ad managed ter get the plans ter this behemoth. Many bothersome pirates died to bring ‘em ter us, so we pored over ‘em ter foind another weakness, loike the exhaust port’ole on the first one. We soon realised that this ship were runnin’ on steam from burnin’ oil, an’ that there be a gap leadin’ straight to the engine an’ the oil, as it were still under construction. Not only that, but we found out that the Emperaaarrrggghhh, Supreme Governer Palpatine, were to be on the ship to oversee the last stages o’ the construction. This made a cheer go up, as we realised we were about to possibly destroy the governmint. The ship were docked off an island called Endaaarrrggghhh. Me, the Pirate Princess, Hook Solo, Piracca an’ a small team were to go on a stolen governmint sloop an’ infiltrate the island. When we were there, we were to destroy the governmint barracks on it ter allow the pirate fleet, led by Pirissian, ter come in an’ destroy the Death Ship. Little did we know that our plans were not goin’ ter go exactly the way we wanted…

We managed ter get to the island an’ foind the barracks, but it were ‘eavily guarded. We ‘ad made friends with the local pigmies on the island, an’ they told us about a back door, but we would ‘ave ter wait ‘til the mornin’ to toime ourselves for when the fleet arrived. That noight, oi ‘ad a funny feelin’ that me farther were on the island, an’ oi knew that oi ‘ad to go to ‘im an’ face ‘im. The Princess Pirate sensed that oi were troubled, an’ asked me what were wrong, so oi said to ‘er “Do ye remember yer mother?” “Not much,” she replied. “Oi don’t remember moine,” oi told ‘er. Oi told ‘er that Darth Pirader were me farther, an’ that ‘e were on the island. Oi told ‘er that oi ‘ad to face ‘im, an’ she tried ter stop me. Oi told ‘er that she could be a good pirate one day, but she didn’t accept that, sayin’ that she could never be a pirate loike me. Oi were soilent fer a moment, then said “The Pirate Code runs deep in me family. Me farther ‘as it, oi ‘ave it, an’ me…sister ‘as it!”. She looked at me an’ suddenly realoised what oi were talkin’ about. We were family! Oi left ‘er shortly afterwards so oi could turn meself inter the governmint. Oi were brought to ‘im. The guards left us alone, an’ oi spoke to ‘im. “’Ello farther”, oi said. ‘E replied to me in a funny way, sayin’ “So you have accepted the truth then, my son”. “Only the truth that you were once me farther, Piratekin Seaswimmer,” oi replied to ‘im. “That name is of no consequence to me now,” ‘e said. ‘E looked at me sword, an’ admired it, sayin’ “The Emperor was right. You are indeed powerful, as he has foreseen”. Oi tried ter convince ‘im ter come with me an’ leave the governmint, takin’ up ‘is ‘ole mantle o’ pirate, but ‘e refused. ‘E called the guards back in, an’ oi were taken to the Death Ship to ‘ave an audience with the Emporaaarrrggghhh.

When we got to the Death Ship, the Emporaaarrrggghhh tried ter get me ter attack ‘im with me sword, but oi knew that ‘e were tryin’ ter get me ter join the governmint, somthin’ oi’d never do. ‘E told me that the governmint’s fleet were on the other side o’ the island, waitin’ fer the pirate fleet to come. Oi were shocked. The pirate fleet then turned up an’ they started their attack on the Death Ship when the governmint fleet came around the island. There were confusion an’ everythin’, with ships everywhere. Oi ‘ad managed to keep me pirate ways until ‘e ordered the gunners to foire on the pirate fleet. Oi grabbed me sword an’ went to strike ‘im down, but Darth Pirader stopped me. Oi then started to foight ‘im in the Emperaaarrrggghhh’s chamber, jumpin’ about an’ parryin’ ‘is blows as oi were taught. Oi ‘ad beaten ‘im back an’ then oi got lucky. Oi managed to cut ‘is ‘and off, loike ‘e did moine. It were then that oi realoised that oi were goin’ to turn out loike ‘im if oi carried on. Oi threw me sword away an’ told the Emperaaarrrggghhh that oi werent’ goin’ to foight me farther any more. ‘E walked over to a strange barrel an’ said ter me, “So be it. Pirate!”. ‘E put ‘is ‘and in the barrel an’ came out with a helctric eel. ‘E threw it at me an’ oi fell to the ground in pain. ‘E kept on throwin’ ‘em at me as oi wroithed on the floor in pain. Oi implored me farther ter ‘elp me. Oi could sense that ‘e were torn between me an’ the Emperaaarrrggghhh until ‘e made ‘is decision. ‘E picked up the Emperaaarrrggghhh an’ threw ‘im inter the pit o’ the Kraken where ‘e died. Me farther ‘ad been electrocuted when ‘e picked up the Emperaaarrrggghhh, an’ ‘e were dyin’. ‘E told me that ‘e were a pirate again, an’ that oi ‘ad shown ‘im the true way. ‘E passed away, so oi took ‘is body an’ placed it onto a rowboat, sailin’ back ter the island ter bury ‘im.

Unbeknownst ter me, whoilst oi were on the Death Ship, the pirates sneaked around the back o’ the barracks an’ found only a few guards, so they went in an’ started to lay the dynamite, but they were caught. The pigmies came ter their rescue, an’ a good ‘ole foight started, which were eventually won, although not without losses on all soides. They ‘ad destroyed the barracks an’ allowed the fleet the toime to attack the Death Ship. The fleet attacked all at once, which allowed Pirissian the toime to get a cannon ball inter the gap an’ up ter the engine with the oil. Luckily, oi ‘ad left it just before Pirissian ‘ad fired ‘is mighty cannon an’ destroyed the Death Ship once an’ fer all.

There were much celebratin’ on the island with the pygmies that noight. We ‘ad grog, strippers, pasta, an’ we sung old sea shanties all noight. The governmint ‘ad been destroyed, an’ we ‘ad foinally won!

Oi know this be a long ‘ole tale, but it be true. Oi am proud ter be a pirate!
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Roland Deschain
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby pieces o'nine on Sun Mar 14, 2010 1:55 am

Yarrrghhh! That be sum tale yer tellin! Let me order ye a Capn's Deloight and put hit on Zankou's tabbe.


Roland Deschain wrote:...
Oi were soilent fer a moment, then said “The Pirate Code runs deep in me family. Me farther ‘as it, oi ‘ave it, an’ me…sister ‘as it!”. She looked at me an’ suddenly realoised what oi were talkin’ about. We were family!
...


Wen this gets turned hinto a myoose hickle, be shur t' hack wire thee roights t' thee classic shanty:
"We arrrgh fam-i-lee! Oi got me pi-rate sister wif me! We arrrgh fam-i-lee! Get hup evrywun an yarghhh!"
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
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pieces o'nine
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Re: Far fetched anecdotes of the sea.

Postby Roland Deschain on Sun Mar 14, 2010 12:26 pm

Yaaarrrggghhh. Thank yee, foine maiden. That be takin' me a frickin' shed load o' toime to wroite! Oi be misspellin' Pygmie twice as well, but it were really late, an' this pirate 'ad been up early in the mornin' ter swab me foc'sle.

Oi also may hinclude that other foine sea shanty, In the Navy:-

Where can you find pleasure
Search the world for treasure
Learn science technology
Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
On the land or on the sea
Where can you learn to fly
Play in sports and skin dive
Study oceanography
Sign up for the big band
Or sit in the grandstand
When your team and others meet
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Roland Deschain
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