The Black Beast
'Arrrr Ochhh aye the noo Cap'n', cried our lookout wee Jock McTweedle, 'We can nae go ashore ta get thee treasure!'
I asked him why the devil not and Jock said:
'Thar's a terrrrrible beast on that island, I've seen it through thee spy glass Cap'n...Tis The Black Beast...If we go ashore we'll all be DOOOOOOMED, DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!'
Knowing what Jock had been drinking I scoffed, grabbed the spyglass from him and focused in on the island where the Treasure lay buried. Sure enough there was the beast, it had the head of a cat, and the body of...a cat!
What was scary though was the beast's size...it was standing next to some coconut palms and some mud huts and by comparison it was clearly the size of a horse!
The crew were terrified of the beast but according to the map we'd brutally wrestled from some Spanish children the treasure was more than 250,000 Cronans!
I decided to lead by example, I sent a boat load of heavily armed men over to get the treasure whilst Jock and I watched from the ship. Soon the men began signaling us from the shore:
Approaching Beast from the South West...stop
Fell over a skeleton pointing way to treasure...stop
Money spider fell on First Mates head...stop
Tell the cabin boy I love him...stop
Blimey, have captured beast and found treasure. On our way back...stop
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh, blast it...stop
Got socks wet gettin in boat...stop
The crew returned laden with treasure, we were RICH, RICH beyond our wildest dreams!
And the beast? The crew turned him out of a sack, he was a cute little black moggy kitten...it turned out one of the islanders had built a model village complete with tiny palm trees and he'd been standing next to it when Jock spied him.
How we laughed merrily as we shared out the treasure...The Black Beast...Jock went red in the face...well he was already red in the face actually.
Two days later the ship was eaten by a Giant Penguin!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.