I can is story tiem now pleaz?
STORY O' ICHY PEET
Itchy Peet is part me crew. He is demon-King o bilge rats. Here is story he come my crew....
cat pirate is very easy keep feed on long vyage. Is can eat fishes, an if no fishes, is has easy food... we is eatit bilge ratz.
Is stuck once many many many day in dull-drum. Is no wind, is no fish - very bad. Is send galleycat to bilge getit bilge rat - he is come back screecHINg
and run top of crownest and is squall is monster rat in bilge. dis galleycat, he is used be black furs - his furs is turn wHIte and stick up every place. crew is call him chikn, he no move.
we is make war-party an head to bilge an openit. No monster rat. we is go lookit round - where is bilge ratz? see no live rat, is MaNY dead rat about though. what is kill ratz?
Holy skitelogs! Is sudden big warcry come YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI and is jump out bigest bilge rat ever see & UgLY like weevils wallywanker! No hairs, scaly tail, teeths like pile o fishbones, very very feerce.
fierce catpirate is jump to him n' hissin' n' spit n' scratch n' bite... this scary ting is killit quicklike. Not fight like normal rat - is just grabbit catpirate and shake, and bite in t'roat. Is two more catpirate attack... and two more... holy skite it kill five catpirate quicklike! I is jump & land on back, grab dis uggly skite back of neck & put claws in t'roat and is screeching in catspeak & manspeak mrYOwLgHstpft! Bad ting u is sit still or I is treat u to open t'roat! mmmrrryyyeeaughlowow!
dis crazy skite is put 'is ass to floor & make small sound like hurt - I is go to face and smakit with paw & manspeak stay still mebbe is spare life
. I is tink dis is feerce warror rat & mebbe is good to battle fo catpin Puff sied. I is tell Ol' Nick go to galleystores, get saltybeefs manfood, dis crazy ting speakit manlish, mebbe is eat manfood. Is eatit, is then try lik me face - i is sez like duje, is has already bath dis week
, but is no more feerce. dat is how Itchy Peet is my crew.
Itchy Peet good pirate-ting - is no lazy like manpirate, catpirate. Is no to smartz - is only hearing manspeak, is cannae speak excepted warcry YI YI YI, but is obeyit everyting catpin sez, follow 'round, watchit back. Is one problem, is has keep bilge lock, or he is go killit bilge rat & no eatit - we tink he is mebbe demon bilgerat & punish bad one. If we need bilgerat eatit... send Peet he love it, kill, bring back. Name is Peet cuz he is peet on mast soon he get on deck, and is scratch'n'bite skin all time.