An Interview with the Belarus national football team coach: Dimitri Kalashnikov
Piratica FC have arranged a "Friendly" match with Belarus as part of their warm-up preparations for the World Cup. Playbilge
has obtained an interview with the quietly spoken Belarus coach:
PB: So Dimitri, are you looking forward to the game with Piratica?
Zey are thieving cutthroat scumbags. I have no time for zese bastard sons ov a thousand whores.
PB: So do you think it will be an open game?
Zey are just a collection ov scrapings from a Wolf's backside! Zey dare to brink zeir stinkink sea-faring ways to our beautiful landlocked country!
PB: What formation do you expect to play? An attacking 4-3-3?
Zey are the pus from a leper's foreskin! Zey are an ignorant hoard ov cowards. Wivout zeir big ships zey are nuthink. Ve vill destroy zem!
PB: Who do you see as being the key players in the match?
Ze steenking pigs! Ze rat faced, flea bitten, fly blown offal eaters! Comink over here with zeir filthy clothes covered in ze parrot droppinks!
PB: Yes but how do you see...
Scum! Zey fart to make themselves smell better! Zer rump-wrecked snot swallowink donkeez!
PB: But what about...
Zose fetid troglodytes! Zey make me sick, zer drunken baboons swillink zeir filthly fish head stew! Zey...
(interview ends as Kalashnikov hurls TV against wall).