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Da Vinci Code

Postby black bart on Fri May 19, 2006 6:27 am

The Da Vinci Code has thrown up yet more shocking evidence - recent restoration of 'The Last Supper' has revealed a new layer of controvercy:

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The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby DaveL on Fri May 19, 2006 7:08 am

YArrrr...

Now Oi's definitely will see that thar movie. Oi's knew Brenda was tryin singin, but O'is didn't know she'd scored a part in a major block buster.

Do yer think she will get into Kabbalah, now she's a megastar?
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Postby The Black Spot on Fri May 19, 2006 9:13 am

I hears that were the picture that inspired the formation of the "Deus Nos Succurro" cult.
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Flesh

Postby black bart on Fri May 19, 2006 11:39 am

Apparrently Leonardo da Vinci ran out of flesh coloured paint during the painting of this masterpiece!
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Postby The Black Spot on Sun May 21, 2006 2:35 pm

Playbilge Exclusive:

An Interview with the Belarus national football team coach: Dimitri Kalashnikov

Piratica FC have arranged a "Friendly" match with Belarus as part of their warm-up preparations for the World Cup. Playbilge has obtained an interview with the quietly spoken Belarus coach:

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PB: So Dimitri, are you looking forward to the game with Piratica?

DK: Piratica? (spits) Zey are thieving cutthroat scumbags. I have no time for zese bastard sons ov a thousand whores.

PB: So do you think it will be an open game?

DK: Zey are just a collection ov scrapings from a Wolf's backside! Zey dare to brink zeir stinkink sea-faring ways to our beautiful landlocked country!

PB: What formation do you expect to play? An attacking 4-3-3?

DK: Zey are the pus from a leper's foreskin! Zey are an ignorant hoard ov cowards. Wivout zeir big ships zey are nuthink. Ve vill destroy zem!

PB: Who do you see as being the key players in the match?

DK: Ze steenking pigs! Ze rat faced, flea bitten, fly blown offal eaters! Comink over here with zeir filthy clothes covered in ze parrot droppinks!

PB: Yes but how do you see...

DK: Scum! Zey fart to make themselves smell better! Zer rump-wrecked snot swallowink donkeez!

PB: But what about...

DK: Zose fetid troglodytes! Zey make me sick, zer drunken baboons swillink zeir filthly fish head stew! Zey...

(interview ends as Kalashnikov hurls TV against wall).
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Postby DaveL on Sun May 21, 2006 5:33 pm

YArrrr...

Oi wish he'd quit it with all the terms of endearment. Oi think he might like us!
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Foreign

Postby black bart on Mon May 22, 2006 7:18 am

Give him a job at the Foreign Office! :fsm_yarr:
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Postby The Black Spot on Mon May 22, 2006 7:20 am

Arrr, 'tis time we had a grudge match.
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Romance

Postby black bart on Mon May 22, 2006 7:40 am

I fear I may loose my cutting edge on the field of play now my romance with Pir-gella has been rekindled. I found an old photo of us which I've put in the Salty Tale...sigh...
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Stock CArghhhh Racing

Postby DaveL on Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:14 am

YArrrrr...

Oi wuz in the tavern the other noight, when these petrol head losers came into the bar talkin' about how their vehicles were the fastest in all of Portsmouth.

Bein' the drunken lout that Oi am Oi said 'You call your machines fast...well you aint seen nuthin' until yer seen me 'Argghhh 9000'.'

So next thing Oi knew Oi wuz down at the local racing circuit, taking on the petrol heads in the local stock car race.

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Next thing Oi knew the 'Argghhh 9000' was takin the lead. I wuz whippin their butts. Oi'd taken the lead! YArrrrr...

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Although me cornerin' was a bit rough, Oi mowed 'em down!!

In the end Oi wons the race! So next toime yer feelin the need for speed, get yerself an Argghhh 9000.

Next stop is the local dragster strip!! YArgghhhh!!
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Formula One

Postby black bart on Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:27 am

Next stop...Formula One for the AAARRGH 9000...

sob, I used to have an AAARRGH 9000 once, I can't remember what happened to it but I think I lent it to Capn Cronan! :?
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Postby Swatopluk on Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:18 am

Cronan the Bavarian?
Onward noodly pirates!
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drop

Postby black bart on Thu Jun 29, 2006 11:46 am

Gott help Bavaria if he was...there'd be not a drop o pilsner or weisbeer left! :?
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Postby Griffin on Thu Jun 29, 2006 11:09 pm

The editorial team apologise for the shocking reference to drag racing. Do not think for one minute that anything escapes our eagle eyes. Publish and you're damned.

On behalf of the Editor-in-Chief. Signed in his absence.
Grand Deducer Watson of Sherlock. NoName, no pack drill. Astral zone changed five times a day (flexible). Great at manifesting parking spaces by thought control. Hatred of terminology of survivors and commitment to win-win reality.
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Rocky Horror

Postby black bart on Fri Jun 30, 2006 6:39 am

OH...THAT sort of DRAG racing!

I'll get me Rocky Horror gear ready!
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