PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Postby Pachyderm on Tue Mar 07, 2006 11:36 am

Sounds loike a good plan. Mebbe he could be a sort o' py-rate bard?
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Danger

Postby black bart on Wed Mar 08, 2006 9:47 am

YYYAARRR Australia be a wonderful place fer a young pirate to hang out. There's the surf, the sun, plenty o places to hide yer Treasure. But beware o them dangerous critters. Whilst I were at the Barrier Reef they gave me a list o dangerous varmints. The sharks are the least o yer worries - YAAAARGH there be the Blue Octopus, Jelly Fish, Stone Fish, Sea Snakes and many more vicious little buggers...I sent me First mate in first to test the water!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby Pachyderm on Wed Mar 08, 2006 5:17 pm

How could yer ferget th' ol' Box Jellyfish. Most poisonous critter on the planet, savin' fish-'ead stoo fed Elephant Marines.
------(\ /)------
-----(o.o)-----
-----(> <)-----
This is Bunny.
Bunny, as cute and cuddly as he may appear, is bent on world domination.
To achieve this he has decided to start by taking over teh intarweb, a step towards his ultimate goal.
To help him complete his quest and therefore ensure bunny domination, copy and paste him into your sig
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Pugwars

Postby black bart on Thu Mar 09, 2006 8:45 am

I'm off to the cinema for the new Yarr Wars episode 3:

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Postby Duke on Thu Mar 09, 2006 4:37 pm

Gah! A frightening film! My kinda boot!

Beware the Pugwash!


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The First HPPA!

Postby Hawk on Fri Mar 10, 2006 3:34 am

D'yarrrr!

Black William Roberts here... As an exclusive feature of Play-Bilge, we have a very special award to bestow on a lucky person. This award is the
Honourary Pastafarian Pirate Award! This award goes to a public figure who, knowingly or not, has the features, mannerisms, and cleanliness of a true salty-dog Pirate!

Y'arrr, so let's get on wit' it!

The first winner of the HPPA goes to a well-known person who possesses many traits that any pirate would love to have. This man is none other then Russell Crowe!
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In the picture above, we see Mr. Crowe decked out in full battle gear. With his sword spinning circles around his attackers, Crowe cuts a bloody swath through any who stand against him. Any pirate worth his salt would be happy to have this fiesty scrapper in his boarding party. Needless to say, his fighting prowess is not just reserved for other gladiators!

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Here we have our foine buoy getting hauled off by the King's Guard! While trying to phone home to his wench overseas, Crowe gets riled and chucks a phone at a lowly servant boy. This irrational outburst of rage is more befitting a drunken pirate then a sober movie man! Oy, get this man some grog!

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D'yaaar! He we see the salty dog showing his sea-legs! This ain't no land-lubber! He knows his poop-deck from his main mast, and he ain't a-feared to show it! Any pirate needs to know the ways of the high seas, and this lad is no different!

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Ahh, here's our man, drunk as a skunk and singin' his arse off! Every pirate aught to be able to lead a drunken sing-a-long, and Crowe has definitly got the knack for that one!

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Lastly, a pirate had better look the part, or he'll get his arse tossed over the side before he knows it! Good this ol' Russ knows how to look like a scuzzy dirt-bag that any pirate crew would be glad to have on board!

In light of his life-style and actions, Russell Crowe is hereby awarded the first
Honourary Pastafarian Pirate Award!
And, in honour of Russell Crowe's efforts to bring pirate life to main-stream Hollywood, I hereby christen him with a proper pirate name!
Let it be known henceforth, that Russell Crowe shall evermore be known as
Dancin' Harley Dregg! Huzzah!

Now drink ye scurvy dogs! Ye've a new brother in the fold!
Interesting... This cadaver appears to be breathing and pleading for medical attention...
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Postby DaveL on Fri Mar 10, 2006 5:52 am

YArrrr...Nice effort there Black William.

Are you related to Black Bart by any chance?

In Australia, whenever Russell does somethin' good - we call him OUR Russell Crowe. In Australia, whenever Russell Crowe make a complete goose of himself, we call him 'New Zealander Russell Crowe'.

Hence lately, we've been callin' him a New Zealander quite a bit. :wink:

YArrrrr...
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Clone disaster

Postby black bart on Fri Mar 10, 2006 5:50 pm

YYYYAARRRR that's who my Clones were supposed to come out like...Russel Crowe or Errol Flynn...where did I go wrong!
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Postby DaveL on Fri Mar 10, 2006 9:27 pm

And now a word from our sponsors…well they be bleedin’ amateurs actually…YArrrr...whatever happended to rum drinkers? (thanks to Ushnor for the artwork!)

R Lager

For a hard earned Piratey Thirst

You can get it cuttin a throat…
You can get it stealin’ a coat…
You can get it floggin’ a swab…
You can get it firin’ at an unruly mob…
You can get it on stern or bow…
Mater of fact Oi’ve got it now!


(Yarrrr…they flogged that from Victoria Bitter, an Aussie Beer commercial, the buggers!)

Say Arrrrrr or R…For a hard earned Piratey Thirst, you need an RL – That be R Lager. For the finest most refreshin’ drop from the Pastafarian Pirate Homebrewers Collective .

R Lager be made with only the finest home brewin’ ingredients known to the New World. We’ve sourced the finest Salty Bilge water from below. We’ve used an ancient blend of malt and hops stolen and pillaged from the finest breweries across the land.

And we’ve sat the bottles in our cellars until we’ve returned penniless from another expedition and sold the lot.

So when you’ve earned that thirst…Crack a six-pack of R Lager today.

R Lager…cause when there’s nothing left to do, why not flog off your home brew. YArrrrrr...

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MMMM BEEEEEER!

Postby black bart on Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:00 pm

YYAARR, I came back from OZ with a collection of interesting beer labels - sounds a bit trainspottery for a pirate I know. But there was some gems like 'Cain Toad beer' and 'Red Back beer'. This looks like a nice one to add to me collection.
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Postby RevGraham on Mon Mar 13, 2006 6:59 pm

Yarg my scury dogs...I'm a FSM newbie but a long time pillager...Glad I found my fellow shipmates..

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Postby RevGraham on Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:06 pm

I'm here to pillage the booty...

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Postby The Black Spot on Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:38 pm

Arrrr...

On that picture o' the R Lager - on top o' the out o' focus milk churn in the backround, is it an overturned can or is it a bilge rat?
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Postby The Black Spot on Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:41 pm

RevGraham wrote:Yarg my scury dogs...I'm a FSM newbie but a long time pillager...Glad I found my fellow shipmates..


Arrr...

ye welcome t' pitch in here ye swab. I hopes ye has a sense o' humour.

YAAARRR....
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Postby DaveL on Tue Mar 14, 2006 4:23 am

The Black Spot wrote:Arrrr...

On that picture o' the R Lager - on top o' the out o' focus milk churn in the backround, is it an overturned can or is it a bilge rat?


YArrrrr.

Oi think it be a Bilge Rat raidin' the supplies. What's the use of havin' a cat these days? Bad Tiddles, Bad Tiddles...

Oi better go and get me blunderbus - bleedin' varmint!

PS Welcome to the Pirates Section RevGraham!!
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