Cutlasses vs Pistols

[Swatopluk]

Sorry, didn't know!
Sentence reduced to plank!
Tell him, he can come back when he manged a decent sonet (obscene is tolerable too).

[Duke]

Sorry, didn't know!
Sentence reduced to plank!
Tell him, he can come back when he manged a decent sonet (obscene is tolerable too).

Or a haiku:
Pirates are loud
raucous, drunk, speak very strange,
Fun to party with!

Now that's a classic!

Duke

[Duke]

They changed it from mama to papa.
The recording for the album has yet another transition from a weather-forecaster to lumberjack.
They also produced two installations of Flying Circus in Germany, the first one in German with Austrian custom officers replacing the mounties.
Palin played a talkshow guest in the scene before who declared to be the original author of all Shakespeare plays (Could we at least compromise on Hamlet) and then turned lumberjack.
Ich bin ein Holzfäller und fühl mich stark.
Ich schlaf' des Nachts und hack am Tag.
There was also a scene with John Cleese as little red riding hood.

They have customs officers in Austria? I walked right across the border from Germany about 7 times, and there was not so much as a tollbooth!


Duke

[ribbit]

Sorry, didn't know!
Sentence reduced to plank!
Tell him, he can come back when he manged a decent sonet (obscene is tolerable too).

You want a sonnet? A sonnet you shall have...

So sing I now of scurvy pirate Bates
Of peg-ged leg and patch-ed eye was he.
Sore trial to his faithful sea-dog mates
A baser knave I swear you'd never see.

For when the ship would put into a port
The wenches they would all rush out to seek.
But Bates, a cad of lass-seducing sort,
Had ground each girl 'til she was frail and weak.

One night on the poop deck while taking his ease
Bates heard the faint sound of a blade being drawn.
The flash of a sword striking up from his knees
Was all that he saw before morning had dawned.

And then, despite his fervent whispered wish
His mangled manhood fed the gulls and fish

[Duke]

It brings a tear to me eye...................

If I had such a power, I would proclaim you Lead Poet of the First United Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I am not a half bad poet myself, but I have trouble thinking up good things to write poetry on. If anyone has any ideas for poetry, feel free to throw them in my direction, and before long you will have yourself a poem.


Duke

[Swatopluk]

Sonnet accepted, raise the poet's rum ration and pass him a towel.
Now, what about a nice ballad.

Here the first stanzas of 'Pasta Raisin' to be sung to the tune of 'Stenka Rasin'
Full version, when ready, will appear in the hymn section.

Pasta Raisin was a pirate
and he roamed the seven seas.
Being hungry he was irate,
with full belly he held peace.

The Spaghetti Monster Flying
was his master. Did you know?
and His image he ordered tying
to the masttop and the bow.

When he plundered town or city
what's of value there he took.
But for bakers he showed pity
only claimed their recipe book.

Edit: Full version with a dozen stanzas in the Hymn section under Ballads

[black bart]

swatopluk wrote:

in German with Austrian custom officers replacing the mounties.

I'm an Austrian Customs Officer and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day
On Mondays I go shopping, have buttered pretzels for tea...

That's a whole new sketch...Transvestite Austrian Customs Officers!

[Swatopluk]

No, it's just the chorus that was exchanged (green uniforms).
But I don't trrrrust Austrrrrians on prrrinciple (they still pretend Beethoven to be an Austrian and Adolf a German; with Mozart both sides are wrong: When he was born Salzburg was neither German nor Austrian).

[Antipaladin]

Yar, I be thinkin' cutlass. Ya can't hit the aft end of a whale with a flintlock.

[Swatopluk]

I am still the staunch defender of (and with) the battleaxe.

[Antipaladin]

Yar. In general, I be favoring any melee weapon that ya have to unsheith from the back. Howevahr, such things are best used against arrrrmour. The exception being the halbarrrrrrd.

[Swatopluk]

Axes come in a lot of varieties. the trick is to choose the right ones on occasion (the weight could become a problem otherwise).

[Duke]

As for me, my katanas, bow and arrows, throwing stars, and poison darts are my weapons of choice, but I use other sorts of armaments on occasion.


Duke

[Antipaladin]

Yar... that be ninja talk, ye dog.

[Aleph-One]

Yarr! Thar be no reason, earthly ar ephemeral for why ye can't jaars be usin' both a cutlass an' a pistol mateys.

Ye just have ta be havin' that hand-eye caardination.