Pirates and Equal Opportunities

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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The Black Spot
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Postby The Black Spot » Fri Oct 14, 2005 10:28 am

You be havin trouble with hippies?

I be rememberin the swinging (16)60's. 'Twere called "The Summer of Blood" or some such thing.

All these long-haired blaggards bangin bells and singing songs and calling for an end to the war with Spain, France, Portugal, and the others. Lily livered swabs.

Be assured that none o' them dared to try and put a flower in the barrel of any o' my cannons.

beagle
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Postby beagle » Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:43 pm

I remembers thinkin it were really cool havin a lava lamp in me cabin, and the crew wanting casual sex, and me telling em they'd have to dress up as usual. Beyond that it's a blur. Yarr.

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ernst rohm
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Postby ernst rohm » Fri Oct 14, 2005 3:28 pm

The Black Spot wrote:
Be assured that none o' them dared to try and put a flower in the barrel of any o' my cannons.


i had crew members want to use our cannon as flower boxes and such, ave to point out to them the merchantmen are much less likely to come to the mistaken conclusion they are still in operational condition ifin we do.

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black bart
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Postby black bart » Fri Oct 14, 2005 4:10 pm

I be rememberin the swinging (16)60's.

Back in the swinging 1660's when I still had hair on me head as well as me chin, I was in a fine Sea Shanty group called Long John Baldry and the Buccaneers. We toured the Caribbean playing heavy metal sea shanties such as:

Paranoid parrot
Cannon Smoke on the Water
Stairway to me cabin
and many other favorites o the Spanish main.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

beagle
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Postby beagle » Fri Oct 14, 2005 5:33 pm

black bart wrote:Cannon Smoke on the Water


By Briny Deep Purple, arrr, remember that one. Pink Floyd's "One of these days I'm gonna cut you into little pieces", and "Careful with that axe Eugene" are always popular karaoke numbers on me ship.

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The Black Spot
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Postby The Black Spot » Sat Oct 15, 2005 12:50 pm

We often has a sing along to a few tunes squeezed out o' me concertina. Some o' me personal favourites be:

"Long Haired Landlubber from Liverpool" by Little Jim-Lad Osmond
"Jake the Peg" by Rolf Haaarrris
"Wild Thing" by the Groggs

I be thinking that me collection be far from complete though.

beagle
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Postby beagle » Sat Oct 15, 2005 2:53 pm

"Call for cats"
"Magic (blunder)bus"
"When the whip comes down" by the Rolling Bones
"Hanging around"
"AAAAAAAAAAr wanna hold your hand"

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The Black Spot
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Postby The Black Spot » Sat Oct 15, 2005 3:32 pm

beagle wrote:"When the whip comes down" by the Rolling Bones


Arr, the Rolling Bones, they be one o' me favourites:

"Jumping Jack Lash"
"Under My Hook"
"Gimme Treasure"
"Wild (Sea)Horses"
"Deck Fighting Man"

I had that Jagger feller in the back o' me lifeboat once..

beagle
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Postby beagle » Sat Oct 15, 2005 3:57 pm

Yaarr,

I be havin the "Sticky hooks" and "Forty Licks of the cat" albums meself. Did have a poster an all, but Keith Richards frightened the crew.

I had that Jagger feller in the back o' me lifeboat once..


I met Elvis in an East Grinsted Burger King last year, but do you think me crew'll believe me?

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The Black Spot
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Postby The Black Spot » Sat Oct 15, 2005 4:12 pm

beagle wrote:I met Elvis in an East Grinsted Burger King last year, but do you think me crew'll believe me?


That be a fine traveller's tale. Though of all the yarns I hast heard ye spin, this is the topmost. Ye really expect me t' believe there be a Burger King in East Grinstead? It would have been razed to the ground years ago. 'Tis a terrible and wild place.

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fusiontortellini
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Postby fusiontortellini » Sat Oct 15, 2005 4:29 pm

Arrright, me hearties, where be the yellow submarine? Sandwich or not?
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.

beagle
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Postby beagle » Sat Oct 15, 2005 4:57 pm

The Black Spot wrote:That be a fine traveller's tale. Though of all the yarns I hast heard ye spin, this is the topmost. Ye really expect me t' believe there be a Burger King in East Grinstead? It would have been razed to the ground years ago. 'Tis a terrible and wild place.


Twer'e a bit spectral now you mention it. Arrrrr, at the time I's put the coffee bein icy cold down to bad trainin.

beagle
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Postby beagle » Sat Oct 15, 2005 5:17 pm

fusiontortellini wrote:Arrright, me hearties, where be the yellow submarine? Sandwich or not?


Twere moored up in Liverpool, so we borrowed it to do a bit of deep sea pirating. Me crew could never get used to pirating in two dimensions though, and they'd be a-singing instead of a-killing. "Wholesale slaughter first, shanties afterwards" would be me cry, but they just called me meany till I wents blue with rage. They's all went off and joined other bands and I traded in the sub for an old warship with one lady owner.

Arrr

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The Black Spot
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Postby The Black Spot » Sun Oct 16, 2005 2:47 pm

Arr...

Tried a bit o' submarining once meself. Twere a disaster wi the crew I has. I spies a fat merchant vessel through me periscope and says "Prepare to board, lads" and before I knows it, me first mate flings open all the hatches and scuppers the lot.

Me new first mate has been going to business classes, and reckons that air-power be the future. Ee wants me to put a couple of hot air balloons on me deck.

Now, do I listen to 'im or does I get the plank out?

beagle
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Postby beagle » Sun Oct 16, 2005 3:01 pm

Sends him downs the plank, unless, an this here be the clincher, he can tell you how to tack in a 'ot air balloon.

I 'ad some bloke in me ARRRR and D department called Whittle working on a solution, but his ruddy racket stopped me sleepin at night, and his stoopid plan wouldv'e left me overexposed to them thar political instabilities in the Middle-Orient anyways, and blown me carbon quota to boot. Yarrr.


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