Arrr... the Inquisition be the least o' me problems.
Anyway, the other day I discovered a good way to put down a mutinous crew. I were sure that the men were plottin' against me (ye develop an instinct fer this after ye's been cast adrift in an open boat a few times), an' they were all below deck makin' plans.
I stood on the bridge with Fluffy, (the ship's Bengal tiger) when I had an idea. Ye ever seen a cat chasin' the dot of a laser pointer across a carpet? - well I wondered if a tiger would do the same.
Fluffy saw the red dot movin' about on the deck an' got curious. As he approached it, I moved it up an' down the deck. Fluffy were chasin' it, an' he were gettin' angrier an' angrier. I moved the dot across the deck and a few feet up the main mast; Fluffy roared an' lashed out at it. There were a nasty splinterin' noise as Fluffy's claws tore four deep gashes into the oak mast.
Fluffy were goin' beserk. Roarin' an hissin' an spittin' 'ee were. I ran the dot once around the deck fer luck an' Fluffy were boundin' after it, mad with rage. 'Ee were goin full speed as 'ee followed the dot across the deck an' down the hatch leadin' to the crew's quarters.
Well, that put paid to any thoughts o' mutiny that the survivors had.