Pirates and Equal Opportunities

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Postby beagle on Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:21 am

The Black Spot wrote:Arr, well me own schooling is pretty 7th rate as well.


Ah, be a long time since I were at school, I's forgotten the most part now's that i'm in 45th grade. They was a-teaching that new atomic theory of Long John Dalton. "Everything is balls" he said, and throughout me life I've been findin he was right.

The Black Spot wrote:Tis a joy to watch him scribbling down calculus in the heat of battle as 'ee calculates the trajectories of the cannon balls.


Some landlubbing swab was a trying to convince me that's I should be automating all me's gunnery. Some scurvy dog called Babbage has been playin in me hold, squandering me treasure on cogs and wheel fer decades. We gets lower and lower in the water and still finds we has to point the guns by hand. Now the varmint is tryin a sell me a "software maintenance plan", and claims to have invented someat called a "Defence Contract". Plank time methinks.
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Postby beagle on Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:42 am

ernst rohm wrote:...somewhere between 11 and 13, much like a tribe of vicious howler monkeys they be, granted still small enough to be intimidated individually, but in packs they can overcome the fiercest water dawg if ya obey the rules and leave you cultlass and pistols aboard ship.

So yers supposed to put the fear of god up em, but yers not allowed to put the fear of god up em.*
We's got the same problem here, ever since some pinko varmint called the Earl of Shaftesbury stopped us sendin em up chimneys, we has to keep them young-uns amused during the day until the bars open.

------------------
* this weeks attempt to appear relevant to the cause.
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Postby black bart on Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:01 am

AAAAARRRR AAAARRR AAAARR and a Shiver me timbers to boot (definitely getting chillier) - I met that Earl of Shaftesbury once and he ran off with me first mate - SHAFTsbury by name and SHAFTsbury by nature! I was a wondering why he was wearing pink!

some pinko varmint called the Earl of Shaftesbury[quote][/quote]
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby beagle on Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:31 am

I was a thinkin pinko in that thar political sense. He be having lots of descendants (some with good lawyers) so if it be in any other sense it were by way of being an hobby.
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Postby The Black Spot on Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:56 am

Some scurvy dog called Babbage has been playin in me hold, squandering me treasure on cogs and wheel fer decades.


Arrrr

Some scoundrel offered to put one of Babbage's contraptions on me ship fer free. I nearly went for it until the swab said that I had to sign up to the "Portholes" operating system to make the damn thing work.

Didn't know someone could run that fast carrying a briefcase.
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Postby beagle on Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:28 am

Portholes be ok if yer get's the XP ( Xtra Piracy) version. Yer Ransom demands looks better printed out neat, but the cost of them thar ink cartridges be pure thieving.
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Postby The Black Spot on Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:53 am

Arr, I still be using Portholes 1698. Tis simple to use: ye press the "ahoy" button, then "programs" and then ye screen goes blue. Ye can press the "avast" key as much as ye like, it'll make nay difference. I likes it though - I be finding that the blue light hides the bloodstains in me cabin.
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Portholes

Postby black bart on Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:19 am

I'm using an Apple Mac myself, that's why my quotations are coming out all wrong - I must do a refresher HTML course next time I call into port. It were Apple that invented Portholes don't forget me hearties and then that darstardly Captain Bill Custard Pie in the Eye Gates plundered the idea!

Didn't anyone like my Branson Pickle joke by the way? It had me crew in stitches like - although I did threaten to put them on the Atkins Diet if they didn't laugh!
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Postby The Black Spot on Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:30 am

Arr, there be a few advantages in owning an apple-barrel mac. There be only one button on the mouse - perfect for us wi' a hook.
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Re: Portholes

Postby beagle on Thu Oct 13, 2005 12:52 pm

black bart wrote: It were Apple that invented Portholes don't forget me hearties and then that darstardly Captain Bill Custard Pie in the Eye Gates plundered the idea!

Didn't anyone like my Branson Pickle joke by the way? It had me crew in stitches like - although I did threaten to put them on the Atkins Diet if they didn't laugh!


There's be somes that says they all copied the idea from Xerox Parc, though as Xerox were all for copying themselves it seem fair to me.

Twere a fine joke. I've been pirating on too many fronts and haven't been givin each skirmish as much attention as it desoives. Yarrrrr.
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Postby ernst rohm on Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:53 pm

editted to avoid a topic perhaps best not broaded.
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Postby beagle on Fri Oct 14, 2005 3:29 am

ernst rohm wrote:editted to avoid a topic perhaps best not broaded.


Had to fillet one of the young-uns did ee? Still the others will be a-watchin ee more carefully now.
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Postby The Black Spot on Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:14 am

Still the others will be a-watchin ee more carefully now.


I'll wager that Cap'n Rohm be spending too long in the South Pacific. I tell 'ee, a man picks up some damn strange habits down there.

Two of me crew have already filed their teeth to points, and ol' Pugh has himself a shrunken head. The swab can't find a bandana that fits 'im properly anywhere.
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Portholes

Postby black bart on Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:21 am

The pirate mind boggles as to what were cut out. Perhaps he made some reference to filling someones porthole...or made a lewd suggestion about using Bransons Pickle! :fsm_worried:
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Postby beagle on Fri Oct 14, 2005 7:00 am

Me own crew went a bit hippy in the South Pacific. They's were wanting to change the flag:

http://www.comics.com/comics/fminus/archive/images/fminus2732590051010.gif
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