Pirates and Equal Opportunities

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

So next toime Oi feel like doin' a bit of clonin, just throw in one whole hammerhead shark, a steerin wheel and a bunch of barnacles.

Youse are a master cloner Bart - it's unlucky you haven't bin licenced to clone on the mainland. A Tiddles Army could have some real sway on this side of the gates of hell.

YArrrrr...

[black bart]

YYYYAAAARRRR...Thar be so many new Pirates about these days, no doubt as a result o the Box Office bustin Pirate Films and no thanks to that idiot what put up an advert in Portsmouth Harbour what read:

"Pirate Ship requires crew, no experience necessary...
Plunder and wenches aplenty plus staff bonus scheme and health care."

...there be so many new Pirates about that I be findin I'm queuing (I spelt it roight fer once...cue, queue...aarrrrgh!) up fer everythin these days. I knows queuing is a British tradition but its getting rediculous. I queued for 2 hours to get me peg leg mended at Jones's Carpentry & Joinery, I queued for 1 hour to get me sausages at Big Rons, I queued for 3 hours to get me Parrot neutered at Billy Sawbones and I queued for so long to get me Fish and Chips at the AAARRRGH Chip Shop, the tide went out and I had to eat me chips on the Harbour Wall!

[Swatopluk]

Time to introduce the pirate O&A levels

[The Black Spot]

and no thanks to that idiot what put up an advert in Portsmouth Harbour what read:

"Pirate Ship requires crew, no experience necessary...
Plunder and wenches aplenty plus staff bonus scheme and health care."

Yer blaggard. It took me hours to get that spelled correctly. I had another purge last week, so me crew be a bit short on numbers at the moment.

[Swatopluk]

I smell a case of unlicensed hiring and false advertisement.

[DaveL]

I queued for so long to get me Fish and Chips at the AAARRRGH Chip Shop, the tide went out and I had to eat me chips on the Harbour Wall!

YArrrr...

Oi's herds there is a secret 'hole-in-the-wall' fish n'chip shop near the markets, that does a wunderful deep sea marlin. It be laced with heavy metals and's called the 'Metallica Marlin n' Chips'.

If the mercury don't get yer, the side effects will. These include growin a black t-shirt, gettin a mullet hair-do and singin 'Enter the Sandman'. O'im not sure which is werse.

[Swatopluk]

And these ridiculous changes in length depending on the temperature...

[Griffin]

"Pirate Ship requires crew, no experience necessary...
Plunder and wenches aplenty plus staff bonus scheme and health care."

Ye'll be up before the Scurvy Equal Opportunites Board fer that one matey !

[Swatopluk]

Not to speak of the Pirate Board of Education.

[black bart]

Griffin wrote:

Ye'll be up before the Scurvy Equal Opportunites Board fer that one matey !

I expect I'll ave to queue up for that aswell!!!!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Not if yer go for the Metallica Marlin and Chips. Not too many takers fer that one!

[The Black Spot]

[quote="DaveL"]

Not if yer go for the Metallica Marlin and Chips. Not too many takers fer that one![quote]

Arrrr, the 'eavy marlin not be recommended. Aside from yer fingernails fallin' out, I found that a dinner o' that makes yer compass go scatty whene'er ye goes near it.

[black bart]

YYYYAAARRR...I can't believe ye still have fingernails...ye'll be tellin us ye've still got yer own teeth next!

[The Black Spot]

GAAAHHH. I suppose ye'll say that yer parrot's sitting on a real shoulder next, yer...

BAH! the dreaded thread crossin' again!

[black bart]

YYYAAARRR...I used to enjoy goin to the dentist after a few years at sea. I had a lovely wench dentist and whenever she bent over to do me fillings I got a great view of her...

(At least we're only thread crossing...not Cross dressing loik Dave L!!!)