Santa is comin' - man your anti aircraft guns!

[DaveL]

Deck the halls with lead and buckshot - falalalalalala
Tis the season to anti aircraft practice - falalalalalala

For all those little pirates, who spent months wishin' and hopin for that special musket or dagger and ended up with sumthin naff, like a pair of socks...the children and pirates of the world would like to issue the following statement of notable refinement...

Dear Mr S. Claus...

YOUR TOAST YER BIG RED FAT CHUBBY UNSHAVEN GALLOOT!

Yours sincerely,

Disgruntled Child Pirates both young and old.

Yes lads, Oi offishially declare open season on Santa Claus once again.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

YAARGH! Man the AA guns, men! Tis thee seazin to be shootin'!

Crew:
Fa la la la la, la la la BOOOOM!

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

Oi missed 'im last year, the blaggard escaped me ring of defences. Oi wuz busy watchin' the Xmas Eve Special on PTV. The Burly Boys were singin' 'Hark the Herald Ship Drunkard', me favourite Pirate Carol. Somebody cancel me PTV subscription, there will be no watchin PTV this year.

[pieces o'nine]

Ye cood hallways tee-vo yer 'ollidaye speshuls.




Yarrr! Thee Churrrmin Pyrates ave got thee roight hidea, lads:

[Dan (dat haole dude)]

oi gottes me slyngeshotte an' me rox
t' gie ol' Santa dents an' pox

butte save da reindeers? (YES! it's troo..)
fer an' extry-meaty Festivus stoo!

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Argh, oi'd ravver youse Santa in me Festivus stoo! (Tharr be a big layer o' blubber on that White Whale!)

[black bart]

Arrrgh...careful wiv them heavy guns mateys...ye moight hit me, the blaggard's hidin behind me tryin to look piratey again!

[pieces o'nine]

Calle me Roodolf. Sum yeares ago -- nivver moind 'ow long presoisly -- 'avin' littel oar no cronans in me purse, an nuffink parrrtick-yule-oar t' hintress me onna t'underrra, oi finks oi wood fly habowt a littel an see thee warrrmer parrrt ov thee werlde. Hit be a way oi has ov pullin' thee slay, an sir-come-navvie-gate-inn. Wenivver oi finds meself growin' grimme habowt thee mouf; wenivver hit be a cold, snowy Decembrrrr in me sole; wenivver oi finds meself inn-fallin-tarely pawsin' afore toye ware'ouses, an' bringin' hup thee frunt ov ivvery de-livery oi mayke; an' hespeshully wenivver me nose so commences t'glowin', that hit re-choirs a strong morrel prince sip pull t' purvent me frum delibrutly steppin' hinto thee streete, an' mefodickly nockin' people's jyint 'ats orf -- then, oi hack counts hit 'oigh toime t' get inter thee hair as soon as oi canne. This be me sub-stiff-toot fer hay an' stall. Wif a fellow-soffickle fleurish Danderrr an Blitzinn frows 'emelfs hupon thee trayces; oi kwietly take t' thee Skye. There be nuffink siproising inn this. If they but newe hit, halmos' awl rain deares, sum toime oar t'uvver, cherish very neerly thee sayme feelin's twarrrds thee skye wiv me.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Ye'd bittir look out, Bart. Oi hear Sandy's got himself a sharpined hook this toime, not wun o' those wuns wit' corks onna end.

[Dan (dat haole dude)]

Ye'd bittir look out, Bart. Oi hear Sandy's got himself a sharpined hook this toime, not wun o' those wuns wit' corks onna end.

YARRR! an' nivver trust wunna dem 'roight cholly ol' elfs' wot sports a moth-eaten parrrgh-ott on 'is ryghte shoulder, nee-ver (da shippe-shape parrrgh-ott iz a joie ferebber..so treat arr sturdy featharrghed buddies noicely 'n' keepe 'em moth-free..)

[PantyGnawer]

You jerks better not kill Santa or else I'll steal all yer rum!

[Roy Hunter]

Apparently you can get some help from the military this year:

www.noradsanta.org

He's gonna find out who's naughty and nice...

[black bart]

Arrrgh...we be all good umble pirates round these ere parts...nery a visit to Madame Fifi's amongst us...

[Dan (dat haole dude)]

Arrrgh...we be all good umble pirates round these ere parts...nery a visit to Madame Fifi's amongst us...

Arroha, bart, mee bruddah...dunno 'ow, butte ^^^^ gotte mixed in 'ere, 'stead uv inna "Pirate Lies v1.0" thread..mus' bee a manny-fee-station uv da FSM's power t' cloud men (& women)'s minds..an' oi finks ye meant 'orney wen ya typ'ed umble..(con-syd-arrghin' ya mench-end a dearth uv "healthe check-uppes" @ Madame Fifi's)..

[black bart]

Aaaarrrrrrgh...I jus realised...that bloke is a Dalek!!!!