Piratical Cliches...What's Your Definiton?

[ken worley]

Sixteen men on a dead man's chest.
(first line of most famous pirate sea-chanty)

"Official" definition:
A crewman(scurvy dog) has tragically passed on(finally 'ad 'is scrufulance catch up to 'im)- and now the 'reading of the unwritten will and subsequent distribution of his worldly goods proceeds, in a decorous manner(the uvver lot of scurvy dogs swarm upon 'is kit, a-squabblin' an' cursin', tryin' ta grapple fer all they kin get their mitts on.).

Alternative definition:

A common occurrence after a long time at sea, marking the convergence of;

a.scurvy-toll
b.drunkenness
c.loneliness and,
d.the generally low condition of the average pirate's standards.

[black bart]

How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

Official definition:

Put yer ship into dry dock fer a overdue bit o TLC.

Alternative definition:

Wot I says to Chinese Kate when I visits the massage parlour at Madame Fifi's.

[The Black Spot]

"Them that dies will be the lucky ones..."
(Phrase often shouted towards the foe by Saint Robert Newton.)

Official definition: Psychological warfare. An attempt to reduce the enemy's morale by increasing the perceived threat of the imminent pirate attack.

Alternative definition: Any character that dies in the next scene will get paid off and not have to do any more acting in this crappy film, lucky them.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

"Cough it up"
It be a an anckshint pirate term fer coughin' the dubloons outta yer hidden inner-body pockit, now called the 'appendix'.

Check yer copy o' the GOTFSM fer moor details, iffen ye kin read.

[Dan (dat haole dude)]

"stande an' deliver!"

wot da grrlz at Mme Fifi's encourage da shyer clientele t' do..(or so oi've bin tolde )

[black bart]

'Ye dead men tell no tales'

A line from the yet to made film:

The Life and Times of Walktheplank which ends happily for all when Cap'n Planky wins the Sydney Marathon and throws is wig into the adoring crowd.

Alternative ending:

Cap'n Planky is about to record a 'Speaking Book' version of the Necroplanketon when his crew mutiny and feed him to the sharks...he'll be tellin no tales arter that.

[The Black Spot]

Shiver me timbers!
Exclamation denoting surprise on the part of the speaker.

Official definition: When the masts (or timbers) of a ship were shaken by a large wave, the sailors were startled by the noise.

Alternative definition: a mistranslation by by landlubbers. What the pirate is actually saying is Shave hermit embers!.

Pirate folklore tells of a hermit who lived for many years in a cave. One day, pirates began digging for treasure outside the cave. The hermit offered to help, and the crew made him a present of a case of rum and an open razor.

Well, it had been a long time since the hermit had had a drink, and he drank half the barrel in one go. In his drunken state, he started to strop his razor furiously when it slipped, struck the cave wall, and a spark ignited the rum fumes on his breath. The hermit exploded, and smouldering embers of burnt recluse fell on the pirates. One went rigid with shock, 2 fainted, and four of them shat themselves.

[ken worley]

Shiver me timbers!
Exclamation denoting surprise on the part of the speaker.

Official definition: When the masts (or timbers) of a ship were shaken by a large wave, the sailors were startled by the noise.

Alternative definition: a mistranslation by by landlubbers. What the pirate is actually saying is Shave hermit embers!.

Pirate folklore tells of a hermit who lived for many years in a cave. One day, pirates began digging for treasure outside the cave. The hermit offered to help, and the crew made him a present of a case of rum and an open razor.

Well, it had been a long time since the hermit had had a drink, and he drank half the barrel in one go. In his drunken state, he started to strop his razor furiously when it slipped, struck the cave wall, and a spark ignited the rum fumes on his breath. The hermit exploded, and smouldering embers of burnt recluse fell on the pirates. One went rigid with shock, 2 fainted, and four of them shat themselves.

geeez....sounds messy.
(If no one else noticed, the four shats would have been, reverse respectively, 2 of them, sideways-lateral, the third one brittle, and making a "clink" noise, and....well, I guess there'll be a little fallout from that last one...Hope all the lubbers an salts prepared themselves wif' umbrellas an' what knots.

or something like that.
This pirate b rainstorming is too rumsoaked, if you want my opinion.

[black bart]

Pirate Brainstorming!!!!!

Now there's a thread on it's own!

A short thread.

[Dan (dat haole dude)]

Pirate Brainstorming!!!!!

Now there's a thread on it's own!

A short thread.

an' a lonely wunne..'twoode resemb-ickle da ennui-al "Portsmouth Pleece 'Preciation Parrrgh-ade"*

*notte held last yeer, cuz 1 hoffy-seer wuz sicke an' da Constable wasnae gonna march alone..

[black bart]

'Ho! Ho! Ho ! And a bottle of rum !'

Originally thought to have been uttered by a pirate during a typical morning at the Admiral Benbow.

But now it has been attributed to Alan Titchmarsh:



A gardening hint: Hoe Hoe Hoe and a bottle of liquid fertilizer...me dears.