New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Deer Prince Pull Cullininny,
It be bad loike that our younguns cannae, loike, tork or writ pro,ply? Ye shoe do sumfin aboot dat, loike. Bak, wen oi was a la,d we got kained until we was ded! An' we, libbed "in a shoobockse' an' got slapped by oor nans until we wen't to the briney!

At leest, mek, loike, slapp our lil wuns up a, bit, would ye? Dere's a lubber.

Yers Hinser,lee)
Cap'n Able

[black bart]

Roight then Nef Yoo Blackbeard...I wants ye ta wirite out 100 toims on me Blackbeard Board:

'Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the...'

Please fill in der gap.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Pieces' hed dress
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the bilge
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the grog
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the coffer
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the weevil farm
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the one eyed fish
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the galley
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the head
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the casket
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden hunder DTTH's shell
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the brazeer of Big Brenda
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden under the big X
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Cartagena
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden where the red fern grows
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in me lolly
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Elija's spliff
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden under Barties dreadlocks
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden under the mistle tow
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Charleston Harbor
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in hell
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Dan's dik shun nary
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Zankou's thee sar russ
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Cap's spellbook
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the internets
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in me aunties drawer of "naughty toys"
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the estomago
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Walk the Plank's plank
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Tortuga
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the horse
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Mordor
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the Queen Anne's Revenge
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden at the bottom of the Admiral Benbow's privy
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the bilge rat
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden under the Portsmouth docks.
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Dave's smiting stick
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the house of ill repute
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the cask of amontillado
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Texas
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden beyond the horizon
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the golden easter egg
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden on the starboard bow
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the afterlife
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Davey Jones Locker
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the brig
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden down on the farm
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden behind Barties eyepatch
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the smokestack
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden whar the sun don't shine
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden hunder tha floorboards (Bum bum...Bum bum)
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the bunny
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the taco
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the pipe
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Spanish Harlem
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden behind the reef
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the belly of Ol' Daggermouth.
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden sum ware hover tha rainbow
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the Barbary Coast
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in a letterbox
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden under Dark Helmet's helmet
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Keyser Söze
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Mr. McGregor's garden
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Barties pegleg
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in half moon bay
Cap'n Cronan's treasure IS PEOPLE!
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Sector 7-G
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden under the Tahitian sun
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the black hole
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the death star
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden at the beach
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in a barrel of flip
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden at the inter-galactic layline
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the dungeon
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the belly of the whale
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden over the cuckoo's nest
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden at the bottom of the rabbit hole
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the Spanish Main
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Montego Bay
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden on the Horn of Africa
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Ocracoke
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the flux capacitor
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the Squirrel Mummy
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in weevil droppings
Cap'n Cronan's treasure was his sled. It was his sled the whole fricking time!
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the black escalade rollin on 24s
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the fish ead stew
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the old man and the sea
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden under Kill Devil Hill
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the Corsairs
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the one armed man
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the bat cave
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the rum
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the taco bell
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in 4 chan
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Bart's bum
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Hyrule
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the cocaine filled condoms
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the booty
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in old mother Hubbard's cubbard
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the juicy fruit
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the Sizzler

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Noo dun do it agin, Nef Yoo! Back ta clarse!

[black bart]

Arrrrrrrr...der be some good suggestjuns der Nefyoo BB...

I particularly loiks:

Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden at the bottom of the Admiral Benbow's privy

Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Keyser Söze (but WHO IS Keyser Söze?)

and

Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in old mother Hubbard's cubbard

But I have looked into:

Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the brazeer of Big Brenda

an I got a big slap round me chops fer no bananas.

[pieces o'nine]

Oi 'as dyewrecked me croo t'looke hinto thee followin:

Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the weevil farm
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the cask of amontillado
Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in the flux capacitor

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

UNKLBAR ET ME BURPDAY!
OOOooim coman ye ta fetch me a yummy pye

thxz ye
nefyoobb

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

ANTYPON ET BE ME BURPDAY!

yee hazza
bee yuu tee full hat annty ponnn...

ye kin alla ice kreem ye wantz an' chocolit yummy stuff tooo

[DaveL]

Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Pieces' hed dress

Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden in Mr. McGregor's garden

YArrrrr...

That'd hexplain why Big Ron's wife controls the household purse strings. That Laura McGregor is a thrifty woman indeed!!

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Um
um
um unkl davy
wot be uh fussyleer
oim bin permotid to fussyler
wot be uh fussyleer?

[pieces o'nine]

Yarrr, DaveL be aweigh inna nuvver tyme-zone, loike, so oi'll ansir yer kweschun.

A fyoosilleer be a hanoi yen, lolly-suckin, bilge-rat befrendin, jyint 'at warin Jim-Lad wot be yoosed t'lyte thee fyooses on thee bigge cannons. Hits troo that knotte menny go on t'grater fings in the pyratin werlde, but hit 'elps weed outte thee week wuns.

Oi'm jest sayin.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Cap'n Cronan's treasure be hidden hunder DTTH's shell

Nay it haint! Oi'll cut ye, yer blaggard!

Umm, oi meens, dun be silly! Kids, eh?

[DaveL]

Yarrr, DaveL be aweigh inna nuvver tyme-zone, loike, so oi'll ansir yer kweschun.

A fyoosilleer be a hanoi yen, lolly-suckin, bilge-rat befrendin, jyint 'at warin Jim-Lad wot be yoosed t'lyte thee fyooses on thee bigge cannons. Hits troo that knotte menny go on t'grater fings in the pyratin werlde, but hit 'elps weed outte thee week wuns.

Oi'm jest sayin.

Yarrrr...

Pieces, Oi hear Big Ron is lookin fer a bit of - how shall we say - pork chop. Jus don't tell his missus...

[black bart]

Arrrr, I be takin Nef Yoo BB ta visit Big Ron in thee mornin...tis a birfday treat.

Now, was it chops or sausage meat he were after?

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

ummmm
whuch wat ta tha spiddin 101 klass ?

i gotta big gob werkd up