New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum

[PantyGnawer]

Ye shuld make sum jerky outa tha troll.

[pieces o'nine]

Addendum t' thee Bullitin Bored:
A ten shun, arrrght stoodents wot arrrgh syned hup fer thee Beginners Drawin & Quarterin Class. Ye'll be larnin t'draw yer cutlass awl neckst weeke, so bring 'em along wiv yer skechin charrrkohl, yer ransum note pads, a roll ov bandijess an a bottil ov Capn's Deloight, fer thee "still loife" parrrt ov the hex er sighs.

[DaveL]

Message from the Sickbay Clinic

Dear Principal Cullinane,

Can you please ensure that the missing vomit bags you "borrowed" from our stores for teachers social night are replenished immediately? Cook Master Bart has pledged to implement cutbacks to his fish head stew, which will include the use of several species banned for human consumption.

Can you also return the mop bucket, as the floors tend to get a bit slippery.

Yours in regurgitation,

Nurse Betty Swanson

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Der prinzpl calanee ,

fank ye fer getin me oit of Auntie's bilge

oi be sur thet i lik et at skool .

oid lik ta regtr wif :

'Ow Ta bBe Trown In Brig , by Robin Stores

wot els ye rcmend ?

[black bart]

I recommend 'How ta Walk the Plank' by Walktheplank, published by 'Manoverboard' books, only 4 Cronan (it be a really big book so if ye do have ta walk the plank, it'll keep ye afloat til the sharks eat ye).

[pieces o'nine]

Yarrrgh, oi wood also wreck o mend thee companyun booke, Catwalk thee Plank/Work thee Runway! by Tiddles thee Evil.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Oi wood alsoe reckamend Moonwalk the Plank by Cap'n Micky Jacklad. A bit weerd, but a bloody good yarn, me ol' Jimlad.

[black bart]

Or halternatively...half inch annuver bag o Gobstoppers from thee school tuck shoppe.

[Treecosys]

Perhaps the adventures of Farfalle Flynn as required reading?

[black bart]

Arrrr Farfalle Flynn...him with his enormous...

[Dan (dat haole dude)]

grasp uv firming uppe 'is..

[ChowMein]

... new recroots 'ave wanderd into Arrrbay , Princepal Calunully , oi sujjest ye rownde them up wiff ...

[PantyGnawer]

Stop tying up tha skool bard meetin wif yer long whinded tales!

[ChowMein]

... back to thee tale , our spy , oi meens ta say our reportarr has diverted thee new recroots back to the NPPPS

"Aroighty lads , tyme to hoist thee colors !"

Thee gibbering assemblage silently froze , sum continuwed to drool well , moste were halfe naked ande clearly land loving clumsy loutes .

" NEF YOO ! Stow yer lolly !

" Roight then lads ! Take a firm grippe offe ye slacken halyard afore ye gaze , now...

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

NO! oi wn resess ana noo jyint 'at..WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!