New Portsmouth Public Pirate School Curiculum

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

New item for the Bulletin Board
Dyoo to Professor Bart's cystitis infickshun, thee bogs arrrgh bein' replaced. Hungry Guffinton from class 2-A be healin' up noicely from 'is hot wee wee burns.

[black bart]

Arrrgh...I feels a practical demonstrashun on how to serve bilge rats be needed fer me students o fine Pirate Cuisine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzbdHIfkb6w

[pieces o'nine]

Arrrgh -- Spanish Rats, eh? Sounds verra fancy t'me. Oi rememmers wen we mayde dew wiv playne ole British bilge rats, seezund wiv fish head stoo. An we loiked 'em.

Wayte -- this aint thee Whinging Penshuner Thread...

[black bart]

Arrrgh...these be roight poncy blaggards ere...only alf a Bilge rat each! I hexpects me pupils ta consume a whole rat by the end o term three.

[pieces o'nine]

Aye'll wayger those rats 'as nivver bin shang-hoighed fer rat tat tooee.

[Dan (dat haole dude)]

AUE!! oi fought dat ^ said "shagged-high" (me good eye wuz waterin' frae da steench frum da jakes..)..if dat wuz troo, yez'd get "rat tat tooee avec creme de pere et fils"....(not dat tharrrgh be hinny-fang wrong wit' dat..)

[black bart]

AUE!! oi fought dat ^ said "shagged-high" (me good eye wuz waterin' frae da steench frum da jakes..)..if dat wuz troo, yez'd get "rat tat tooee avec creme de pere et fils"....(not dat tharrrgh be hinny-fang wrong wit' dat..)

Dear lord matey...I wouldn't loik ta get a detention after one o yers language classes!

Write out 500 toimes:

I must not be ye naughty boy/girl or I will be forced to eat rat tat tooee avec creme de pere et fils

[DaveL]

To: Concerned Parents Grades K to 6
From: Bill Cullinane.

Dear Parents,

Parent Teacher Night is fast approachin'. We here at Portsmouth Pirate Public School value your childs education. As future scum of the high seas, the progress of your child as a Pirate is our utmost concern.

So don't forget to bring your vast buried fortunes with you, as our face-to-face meetings tend to go incredible smoothly in the presence of a 100 dubloon donation.

Looking forward to meeting you all (if I can sober up in time).

Kind Regards,

Bill Cullinane

[Edd]

Notice to all Faculty and Students:

The Library will be closed for the remainder of the school year due to the delinquent status of our only book, ‘One Hundred and One Uses for a Bilge Rat.’ If anyone knows the whereabouts of Mr. I. P. Freely, please ask him to return it.

- The Librarian

P.S. Stop asking for the Library to order ‘Madame Fifi’s New Spring Catalog.’ Even if I thought you would return it, I wouldn’t dare touch it once you were done with it.

[pieces o'nine]

Addendum t' thee Bullitin Bored:
Arrrght stoodents arrrgh rekwoired t' *akwire* a noo tekstbook fer thee Beginners Drawin & Quarterin Class. Bring it wiv ye neckst week, along wiv yer charcoals an yer ransum note sketch pads.

[black bart]

OK students o the culinary arts...

Today we be goin ta cook up a nice Goat Curry...whosoever can fetch me a nice plump goat gets hextra rum in thee lunch break.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Lads, Deticktive Tarrghtil'olmes be beginnin' his clarse tomorra in Criminology an' Self Defence.
Studints be requoired to perpitrate a croime grater'n that o' Robbery, so sumfin loike Bludginin' Wit A Cudgel. Ye must bludgin' anuvver o' yer clarsemates an' git away wit it befoor midday tamorra.

Hextra weevil points'l go to the lad that kin bludgin' me witout gittin' cutlass inna gut.

[black bart]

Lads, Deticktive Tarrghtil'olmes be beginnin' his clarse tomorra in Criminology an' Self Defence.
Studints be requoired to perpitrate a croime grater'n that o' Robbery, so sumfin loike Bludginin' Wit A Cudgel. Ye must bludgin' anuvver o' yer clarsemates an' git away wit it befoor midday tamorra.

Hextra weevil points'l go to the lad that kin bludgin' me witout gittin' cutlass inna gut.

Ha harrr...an if ye appen ta bludgen a goat by mistake...drop im by me class.

[PantyGnawer]

Ha harrr...an if ye appen ta bludgen a goat by mistake...drop im by me class.

Hactually, me marine biology class be goin sharkin. We needs a goat fer shark bait.

Bartie, hiffen yull trade me yer goat ye can make sharkfin curry hinstead.

Someone please tell the janitor not to empty the cafeteria barf pales cuz we'll be needin sum chum.

[black bart]

Arrrgh...I've ended up wiv the the 3 Billy Goats Gruff an a dead Troll, so ye can take yer pick.