Dear Principal Cullinane:
I’m a bit concerned about the amount of rum consumed by my little Johnny at school and the amount of time he spends on extra-curricular activities at Madame Fifi’s.
Where are my tax dollars going?!
(Not that I pay taxes, but that’s not the point.)
Little Johnny comes home at a decent hour, sober, with barely a hint of cheap perfume on him!
I sincerely hope that school staff is not abusing their positions of authority by denying my wee ‘un the opportunity to learn life lessons and hoarding all the ‘educational benefits’ of school resources for themselves.
If this continues, I shall have to inform my husband when he returns from pillaging and we will schedule a pirate/teacher conference. We will bring our musket and leg-irons and you can provide the tea and biscuits.
--Concerned Mother of twelve, ages 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1. (My husband returns once a year, you see…)