Complete the Piratey Headline

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby DaveL on Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:21 am

Pirates Raid Bookshop, Charles Dickens Possibly not available for another 100 years
Mayhem erupted today after Portsmouth Pirates raiding the local bookstore discovered many great worlds authors, won't get writing for another century.

'Awww crikey' said Pieces of Nine ...I've heard of an early clearance sale, but this is ridiculous...'

Tiddles quest for world domination has been thwarted by a small hairy * * * *
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Wed Jul 30, 2008 1:42 am

Tiddles quest for world domination has been thwarted by a small hairy DaveL, Dressed In A Pink Leotard
Possible addition to his infamous "Pink Girly Things" range?

Black Bart's Mum Found, Claims ****
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby pieces o'nine on Wed Jul 30, 2008 4:00 pm

Black Bart's Mum Found, Claims He Was Adopted
"We picked 'im up on a raidin' party." Missus Roberts said in a carrier-pigeon interview from Central America. "Then, wen 'e wernt so cute anymores, we just coudint get rid of 'im. So we raised sails an' moved to the Aztecs an' dint tell 'im."




Black Bart Insists ***
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:13 pm

Black Bart Insists On Being Paid Forty Years Worth Of Child Support


Detective TurtleHolmes Gives Up On The Case Of The ***
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:49 am

Detective TurtleHolmes Gives Up On The Case Of The Apple Snatcher of London
Detective TurtleHolmes has given up on a case after many speculate that his recent health problems were the result of too many apples.

The case is now being investigated by Detective Stalin, but no leads have been found.

Tribal Ruins Discovered Underneath City, Believed To Be Remnants Of Ancient *****
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby Phlebas on Thu Jul 31, 2008 3:15 am

Tribal Ruins Discovered Underneath City, Believed To Be Remnants Of Ancient Noodle

The top scientists from 5 EU nations met in the Hague today to discuss this amazing discovery. Top of the agenda; is this proof positive that there is in fact a beer volcano in the afterlife?

Creationists Call Press Conference To Announce ***
Wake me at the zenith of the moon.

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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby DaveL on Thu Jul 31, 2008 3:21 am

Tribal Ruins Discovered Underneath City, Believed To Be Remnants Of Ancient Portsmouth

Archeologist Dr Cedric Porthole may have uncovered a prehistoric link to the past. Remnant pirate remains unearthed include a Peg-Leg Tree Stump, A T.Rex Leather Eye Patch, Skeletal remains of a Pterodactyl on a caveman's shoulder and a Cave of ill-repute with strange fertility symbols.

Dr Porthole remarked 'We may have found the missing link. The missing link was Pirates'

Portsmouth Butcher Big Ron's diet in question after his sausage ******

arrghhh double post...take yer pick!
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:56 am

Portsmouth Butcher Big Ron's diet in question after his sausage transportation cart found to be 55% sausage

Black Bart Found In Pond, Disturbing Local *****
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby Phlebas on Fri Aug 01, 2008 5:56 am

Black Bart Found In Pond, Disturbing Local Tribal Ruins Discovered Underneath City, Believed To Be Portsmouth



Coroner says local man Phlebas was ***
Wake me at the zenith of the moon.

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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby DaveL on Fri Aug 01, 2008 6:08 am

Coroner says local man Phlebas was robbed in a hideous double posting accident

WalkthePlank's wig spotted on a beach having a * * * * *
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby Auntie Blackbeard on Sun Aug 03, 2008 11:11 am

WalkthePlank's wig spotted on a beach having Tete' Et Tete' With Local Mop

Portsmouth is a busy wythe thee latest scandal , Planky's Wig has soiled yet another mop , " taint be a use fer nobody nows " , replied Big Ron .


Pirgella On Thee Verge Of A ******
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby Phlebas on Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:14 am

Pirgella On Thee Verge Of A Centerfold Comeback

Readers poll confirms Pirgella as #1 fan favourite in Portsmouth. Photo shoot planned later this month to appear in the "Beavy of Buxom Blondes" special.

Portsmouth Transit Authority Announces *****
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Tue Aug 05, 2008 1:23 am

Portsmouth Transit Authority Announces Nobody In Portsmouth
The reasons behind why the Transit Authority announced this are obscure.

A Subsidary of Big Ron Productions, Big Ron's Rubber Goods, Stands High Chance Of *******
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby DaveL on Tue Aug 05, 2008 6:36 am

A Subsidary of Big Ron Productions, Big Ron's Rubber Goods, Stands High Chance Of Cracking the Lucrative Rubber Smallgoods Market

Big Ron's successful butchery has come up with a novel new product, for the pantry conscious housewife. The rubber smallgood! Big Ron's advertising slogans have been all over Portsmouth.

'No when the cupboards are bare, don't despair, just whip out your Big Ron today!'

Principal Cullinane found in Portsmouth Pirate Public School pool with several * * * *
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Re: Complete the Piratey Headline

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Wed Aug 06, 2008 1:58 am

Principal Cullinane found in Portsmouth Pirate Public School pool with several Yellow Rubber Ducks
Mister Cullinane was later hanged for gross misconduct and immature behaviour, namely imitating the squeaks of said ducks.

Prince Yeolde Found Dead In Tavern, Police Suspect *******
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
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