The Annual Academy Awards Fer Piratical Arts (The Jim Lads)

[Ravi Oli]

Arrrr but Cap'n pieces thar be knorks... an' thar be KNORKS... an' thar be moobs. Now Oi'd recken on a few foine sets of either b'tween thee votin' panel but Oi recken thee magoritty ov thee votes wud be fer thee secund hinterpratashun... nort thee set ye got frum Walmart.

[black bart]

Now look ere...there aint an haward for knorks. sporks or florks...tis all a load o balonee made up by thee Royal Navy ta ridicool us Pirates...

The next haward be "Thee Most Long Winded Postings".

and thee nominees be:

Roy Hunter
Royston Hunter
Royston Fotheringhay Hunter
Roy McHunter
Roylana Hunter

[pieces o'nine]

* backstage, thee emcees flip through thee list ov oyrates wot aint hannounce't a hawarrrghd, nommy nated a hawarrrghd, or --AHEM-- won a hawarrrghd t'keep thee festivities movin smoove, loike *

[Ravi Oli]

Cap'n pieces twuld happear there all stage-fryted, too drunk or nort fust on thee nomyknees. Per'aps a fethasord deul... larst won standin' takes the proize? Be gud fer a larf at this point in proseedin's.

[black bart]

Cap'n pieces twuld happear there all stage-fryted, too drunk or nort fust on thee nomyknees. Per'aps a fethasord deul... larst won standin' takes the proize? Be gud fer a larf at this point in proseedin's.

Ye be opin thee girls from Madame Fifi's be hinvolved no doubt.

[pieces o'nine]

Arrrgh, there be no hawarrrghd fer pay-tronoisin thee wenches hat Madame Fifi's!

[black bart]

Aye ye be right matey, I was there last Friday an when I tried to compliment Gizelle on her massage skills and her use of thee Hinglish language she said : "*** off ye patronising git!"

[pieces o'nine]

* looks around suspishus, loike *

Arrrrrgh, who won thee hawarrrghd fer "Thee Most Long Winded Postings"? Annownce 'im an get 'im up t'thee dye-us t'hacksept 'is hawarrrghd an lets keep this show on thee roade, ye lubbers!

[black bart]

* looks around suspishus, loike *

Arrrrrgh, who won thee hawarrrghd fer "Thee Most Long Winded Postings"? Annownce 'im an get 'im up t'thee dye-us t'hacksept 'is hawarrrghd an lets keep this show on thee roade, ye lubbers!

Arrgh...an thee winner be:

Roy Hunter for his hincomprehensible post on "How to manufacture a shyppe's sound system from four Narwhal Tusks and a Spaniard's Codpiece."

[Roland Deschain]

* looks around suspishus, loike *

Arrrrrgh, who won thee hawarrrghd fer "Thee Most Long Winded Postings"? Annownce 'im an get 'im up t'thee dye-us t'hacksept 'is hawarrrghd an lets keep this show on thee roade, ye lubbers!

Arrgh...an thee winner be:

Roy Hunter for his hincomprehensible post on "How to manufacture a shyppe's sound system from four Narwhal Tusks and a Spaniard's Codpiece."

That be soundin' loike a wonderful piece o' literature. Where be this? Thee long winded tale thread?

[Griffin]

* looks around suspishus, loike *

Arrrrrgh, who won thee hawarrrghd fer "Thee Most Long Winded Postings"? Annownce 'im an get 'im up t'thee dye-us t'hacksept 'is hawarrrghd an lets keep this show on thee roade, ye lubbers!

Arrgh...an thee winner be:

Roy Hunter for his hincomprehensible post on "How to manufacture a shyppe's sound system from four Narwhal Tusks and a Spaniard's Codpiece."

That be soundin' loike a wonderful piece o' literature. Where be this? Thee long winded tale thread?

Aaargh! h'it be Katch 22. 'appen ye h'onlee find owt wear it be afta ye 'ave wun the awaaard.

[Ravi Oli]

^ & ^^ twud seam proper thee hawardin' of the long-winded postin' be long-winded...
Twud awlso seam Roy 'as fell asleep at thee sus pence ov it awl... Oi Milo... stop lickin' yerself an' plant a wet one on yer masta...

[black bart]

He's bein very Long Winded wiv his hacceptance speach...bein Scottish he might possibly be in thee bar, or fightin, or argewin about thee price of thee drinks, or tryin to make Nef Yoo into a Haggis...or all o thee above.

[Roy Hunter]

Eh? What? What did I miss?

Sorry, I must have had a dodgy bowl of Bart Industries® Fish 'Ed Stoo. Been in the lavvy for ages. I'd give it a couple of minutes, if I were you.

Anyway, I won an award for long-winded and incomprehensible posts? Just as well I prepared a speech...

*unfurls scroll of parchment*

"Thanks."

*Exit stage right*

[pieces o'nine]

* thunderous happlawse greetes Roy's hack septence speache *

Ye done well, Roy, fank yew.

Thee next Hawarrrghd be fer the Biggest Cannon. Thee nommy knees be...