Beer purity

[Zhukov]

Would the beer spewed forth by the various volcanoes meet the standards set forth in the Reinheitsgebot or is the beer policy more liberal and allow such things as flavored beers or sweet stouts?

[Zankou 2.0]

Would the beer spewed forth by the various volcanoes meet the standards set forth in the Reinheitsgebot or is the beer policy more liberal and allow such things as flavored beers or sweet stouts?

The "beer" volcano spews a liquid that tastes and acts like whatever you personally want it to be. It's heaven.

[Zhukov]

Excellent. That means that one need not travel from volcano to volcano searching for a particular brew.

[Zankou 2.0]

Excellent. That means that one need not travel from volcano to volcano searching for a particular brew.

Verily, one need not leave the crater of teh volcano, for the strippers are visible also.

[lari]

But we will never get fat in Heaven, will us??

[Josh M]

What about the lands/clouds around the area? Wouldn’t the beer come forth down the mountain and create fast streams, lakes, and even oceans of personally flavored beer?
If so that would be AWSOME! We would sail about on magnificent galleons in an ocean of beer!

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

If you've seen what Pirates throw over the sides of their ships, you wouldn't be so happy about that prospect...

[Josh M]

That is a good point, but if it's heaven, then wouldn't any garbage just disapear?

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

You're thinking of the wrong type of heaven. Remember, this heaven was created by a drunkard who loves to mess with people's minds.

[Josh M]

That is true. And were would people live in heaven? What about food or sleep? Would everyone have a pirate ship of their own? I am uncertain if these questions have already been covered but it would be interesting to talk about.

[Elastoman]

Taking into account the nature of piracy, and it's special place in His strategy, I think the distribution model best suited to Heaven for things like Galleons, Mud Huts, and Revolving Beds in Mirror Rooms is a "Plunder fast, kids" method. I mean, it's heaven, but we're still pirates. If we can't plunder, what's the point?

That said, rubbers and clean(ish) beer mugs are probably readily available.

[Josh M]

Well if everyone is plundering, pillaging and murdering, wouldn't that be a good thing? Where are we going to go? If we die we could just start somewhere on the coast as if nothing has happened. It could almost be like an enormous game if that helps any of you. I personally think it would be a blast to kill or be killed with no consequences. That and afterwards you can relax at the beer volcano along side some lovely strippers.
Truly a blissful heaven indeed.

[Clifford]

RELAX alongside strippers? Who are you?

[Josh M]

I picture myself on a beach with a drink in my hand surrounded by strippers danceing around me. After a while you would get used to them and not be so compelled to watching them as much.
How do the rest of you picture it? It would be interesting to hear some ideas.

[Zankou 2.0]

Actually, the Pastafarian version of heaven doesn't appeal to me at all. I don't like alcohol and the idea of a strip club is, to me, utterly absurd. It's naked people dancing. Who cares?