... but there is an utter dearth of proper pirate bars. As for the Donkey Den, I'm friends with the protesters so that would probably be a no go.
There is Pints Pub (just a couple blocks from the Donkey Den, across the street from the jail), and though the Brits aren't too keen on being associated with pirates, we all know the best pirates are Brits...
Ya know, I'm thinking, we have mountains and trees, and perhaps we could find a short person to serve as the Midget... I do belive Denver is the ideal location for a great shrine to Him.