My name is _____ and I have an addiction.

This board is NOT restricted access. Keep that in mind when you post.

Moderator: Other Stuff Mods

Postby farfalla on Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:31 am

with a cause - providing ketchup for the french fries is truly a cause worth smuggling for
User avatar
farfalla
Feline Fatale
 
Posts: 10467
Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:13 am
Location: by the waterfall

Postby pieces o'nine on Fri Apr 11, 2008 2:17 am

Ketchup

The "gateway condiment"

High school students start out with ketchup, thinking that it's "harmless fun." Thinking "they can stop anytime they want."

Before they know it, however, they have graduated to harder condiments with hip, streetwise names: "Grey Poupon," "Big Daddy's BBQ Sauce," "Miracle Whip," all the way up to the notorious and horrific "Cheez Whiz" and "Reddi-wip." They can be found in darkened corners of the cafeteria, furtively handing over allowances, lunch money, or minimum wages to a sleazy ketchup pusher, risking detention or even suspension to get a fix!

Parents and school board members of America! Wake up! End this scourge of cheap and possibly tainted condiments warping the minds and tastebuds of our young! It takes years of rehab to bring these lost children to an appreciation of finer tastes -- indeed, any taste at all -- once their unsophisticated tastebuds have been scarred by black market ketchup. The most tragic cases will be doomed to a life of "fast food", tv dinners, "lite" beer, and processed snack foods.

Take a stand! Ketchup smothers a beating taste bud! Stop ketchup before it cripples someone you love!
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
User avatar
pieces o'nine
Look Upon Her Works, Ye Migyt, and Despair!
 
Posts: 8615
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:21 am
Location: Ocean o'Sand

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Fri Apr 11, 2008 3:51 am

Ketchup

The "gateway condiment" Continued...


But don't think that this is a localised epidemic, only spreading across the United states of America. For "Tomato Sauce", as it is called in Australia, has been infiltrating the pallet of condimenteers for generations. It all began when when the members of the First Fleet rediscovered this tantalising yet deadly food-flavourer. Even today, "Tomato Sauce" is proving to be a staple condiment of people who love pies, sausage rolls and other bakery products.

So please, when choosing a condiment, don't go for "Tomato Sauce". Choose mustard instead. Dijon, Australian, English and American mustards are the perfect counter condiment for "Tomato Sauce".

There are rumours of an organisation of condimenteers who are taking a stand against the brutal oppression of "Tomato Sauce". They work underground, only venturing to the surface when they discover a "Heinz Hive", or, in simple terms, a sauce factory.

Heck, someone else can continue now.
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
User avatar
Detective TurtleHolmes
Clouseau's Protege
 
Posts: 9266
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:34 am
Location: Francemouth

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:27 am

^
^^

HAAAAAhahahahahaaaaahhaaaa....ahhhh (catches breath)..........ahahaahaaaaaa...
Remembering St. John
Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering times of innocence
User avatar
Mad Willyum Bonney
Admiral of Incomprehensibility
 
Posts: 3833
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 8:34 am
Location: Bedlam

Postby farfalla on Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:24 am

and the sauciness goes on...

We are all in a pickle and I relish the though of hunting down the corrupter of the of the pure condiments and the adulterator of the pure tomato sauces which are marinara and all its variations.

Ketchup, who some in higher power have tried to pass off as a "vegetable", has been used to defile many a wholesome food. It has been used to debase the noble egg and has even been seen smothering lobster. Abomination you say - yes, but true all the same.

Then there is the dark secret that is ketchup, also known as 'catsup' (why is that do you think?). The secret ingredients of the foul red sauce have been locked in the vault of the Heinz brothers since 1876. The Organization of Condimenteers (not to be confused with the Organ Nation of Condem Mentors) have sworn to track down the concealed formula and expose ketchup for what it really is.

.
User avatar
farfalla
Feline Fatale
 
Posts: 10467
Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:13 am
Location: by the waterfall

ketchup

Postby black bart on Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:30 am

Image
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby ken worley on Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:35 am

If ever I saw an image screaming to be 'photoshopped'....

:fsm_ninja:
Image
User avatar
ken worley
King of the Pervs
 
Posts: 3363
Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:10 pm
Location: Fortress of Squalitude

Icecream

Postby black bart on Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:26 pm

It took me hours to photoshop the cock out of that shot and now you've gone and ruined it for everyone!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby goldstar on Fri Apr 11, 2008 5:18 pm

my name is goldstar and im a mc n cheese addict.
"Faith: not wanting to know what is true."
Friedrich Nietzsche


KEEENN LEEE
tulibu dibu dauchoo
KEEENN LEEE
ken lee meju more
User avatar
goldstar
Maccheroncelli Missionary
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2008 3:31 pm
Location: Illinois,Planet Earth

Postby Wawizzle on Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:13 pm

My name is Wawizzle. I'm addicted to watching Christopher Hitchens' videos on YouTube.

I am also addicted to learning Mathematics. If I could, I would switch my other 5 classes with Math.
“We are often hesitant to look at other faiths or to examine our own critically because we feel that, in doing so, we are being disloyal to our own deeply felt convictions. ... And yet our beliefs are not worth very much if they cannot stand up to any scrutiny.” -- James Livingston.
User avatar
Wawizzle
Sorcerer of Sauce
 
Posts: 3409
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 2:03 pm

Postby Moral Minority on Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:40 pm

My name is Moral Minority. I am addicted to misconstructing everything as a (homo)sexual innuendo.
User avatar
Moral Minority
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 5629
Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:51 pm
Location: Follow the trail of smoldering bodies.

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Sun Apr 13, 2008 6:31 pm

My name is Cap'n Turtlehead and I'm addicted to addictions.

I've collected...OVER 9000!!!1!11!!!!11!
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
User avatar
Detective TurtleHolmes
Clouseau's Protege
 
Posts: 9266
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:34 am
Location: Francemouth

Postby Wawizzle on Sun Apr 13, 2008 6:32 pm

My name is Wawizzle and I'm addicted to creating addiction 12-step groups that lower self-esteem and destroy human dignity.
“We are often hesitant to look at other faiths or to examine our own critically because we feel that, in doing so, we are being disloyal to our own deeply felt convictions. ... And yet our beliefs are not worth very much if they cannot stand up to any scrutiny.” -- James Livingston.
User avatar
Wawizzle
Sorcerer of Sauce
 
Posts: 3409
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 2:03 pm

Postby farfalla on Mon Apr 14, 2008 5:41 pm

my name is farfalla and I am being sucked into an addiction to looking up places on google maps
~~~~~~/\~~~~~~

The heart has its reason, of which reason knows nothing. -Pascal - thanks, Z

"The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."
Cpt Jack Sparrow

"I'm used to going out at 3 in the morning and doing something stupid."
Alan Moore

Silk 'n mind
User avatar
farfalla
Feline Fatale
 
Posts: 10467
Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:13 am
Location: by the waterfall

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Tue Apr 15, 2008 2:16 am

My name is Cap'n Turtlehead and I'm addicted to looking up phobias on the internet.

Did any of you know that there is a fear of the Dutch? It's called Dutchphobia.
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
User avatar
Detective TurtleHolmes
Clouseau's Protege
 
Posts: 9266
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:34 am
Location: Francemouth

PreviousNext

Return to Games, Fun, and Jokes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests