hillbilly jokes go here

This board is NOT restricted access. Keep that in mind when you post.

Moderator: Other Stuff Mods

hillbilly jokes go here

Postby childof1stcousins on Fri Nov 30, 2007 5:08 am

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly says: "My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. "

2nd Hillbilly says: "Why is that stupid?"

1st Hillbilly says: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"

2nd Hillbilly says: "That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin' machines!"

1st Hillbilly says: "Why is that so stupid?"

2nd Hillbilly says: "'Cause we ain't got no plummin'!"

3rd Hillbilly says: "That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar."

1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: "Well, what's so dumb about that?"

3rd Hillbilly says: "She ain't got no pecker."
Renaissance Redneck
User avatar
childof1stcousins
Maccheroncelli Missionary
 
Posts: 27
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:54 pm
Location: simi valley, ca

Postby Rainswept on Fri Nov 30, 2007 9:05 am

I started to tell a couple, but realized all the ones I know are a bit more than the censors would allow.
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
User avatar
Rainswept
Caliph of Capitalist Fishing Pole Hobo Apologists
 
Posts: 9111
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:11 pm
Location: State of Disbelief

Postby Hippie Pirate on Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:15 am

A hillbilly, an Italian, and an African where in kindergarten. They decided to have a contest to see which one of them had the longest cock. The Italien whips his out, there are some nods of approval and he puts it away.

The African pulls his out and it is bigger than the previous.

Then the hillbilly says, "Well, that sure ain't nothin!" He takes his out and it is bigger than the other boys by a good 5 inches.

When he gets home he tells his ma what happened.

She replied, "That's no surprise, you are 27."
Reducing global warming since 1989.

Rev Points at the moment = 4
User avatar
Hippie Pirate
Lumache Lieutenant
 
Posts: 616
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:04 pm
Location: Drury University

Postby PantyGnawer on Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:37 am

How do we know that Hillbillies invented the tooth brush?



If anyone else had invented it they would have called it the teeth brush.
User avatar
PantyGnawer
Spam Bob Grill Pants
 
Posts: 4481
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:17 pm
Location: Ask yer Mom.

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:38 am

*insert rant about the evils of stereotyping here*
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
User avatar
Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 18337
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am
Location: Southern Oregon

Postby Hippie Pirate on Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:43 am

Rev. Rowan Redbeard wrote:*insert rant about the evils of stereotyping here*



I too am against stereotyping, unless it is in a joke. Maybe others do actually believe the things they hear in jokes, and maybe others get offended.

I know what I see in jokes is stereotyping, and that is what makes it funny most of the time, and if people get offended by stereotyping jokes its just because they are not able to accept the fact that just because someone says something doesn't make it true.
Reducing global warming since 1989.

Rev Points at the moment = 4
User avatar
Hippie Pirate
Lumache Lieutenant
 
Posts: 616
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:04 pm
Location: Drury University

Postby PantyGnawer on Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:45 am

I thought I was being less stereotypical by changing West Virginians to hillbillies in my joke.
User avatar
PantyGnawer
Spam Bob Grill Pants
 
Posts: 4481
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:17 pm
Location: Ask yer Mom.

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:49 am

It isn't a matter of believing or not believing for me. I just feel that the more one is exposed to stereotyping the easier it is to accidentally slip into it oneself. What if these were black jokes, or Polish jokes? Or jokes degrading women?

How is it acceptable to tell jokes that degrade one group, but not OK to tell jokes that degrade another?
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
User avatar
Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 18337
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am
Location: Southern Oregon

Postby PantyGnawer on Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:51 am

Rev, its a damn good thing that you don't have a TV these days, because then you would really have some sand in your vag.
User avatar
PantyGnawer
Spam Bob Grill Pants
 
Posts: 4481
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:17 pm
Location: Ask yer Mom.

Postby EarthRise on Fri Nov 30, 2007 11:20 am

Provided the jocund nature is well established, stereotyping in jokes is perfectly acceptable, partly because the joke is so politically errant, and often because the stereotype is so blatantly absurd.

For example:
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she was a woman.
(insert laughter)

Rinse and repeat.
[...] the difficulty of believing that a perfect and complex eye could be formed by natural selection, though insuperable by our imagination, should not be considered as subversive of the theory.
-Darwin
User avatar
EarthRise
Hox God
 
Posts: 2330
Joined: Sun Aug 27, 2006 3:35 pm
Location: who wants to know?

Postby PantyGnawer on Fri Nov 30, 2007 11:33 am

EarthRise wrote:Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she was a woman.



:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:

Best Helen Keller joke ever!
User avatar
PantyGnawer
Spam Bob Grill Pants
 
Posts: 4481
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:17 pm
Location: Ask yer Mom.

helen keller

Postby childof1stcousins on Fri Nov 30, 2007 1:56 pm

she wern't a hillbilly, was she?
Renaissance Redneck
User avatar
childof1stcousins
Maccheroncelli Missionary
 
Posts: 27
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:54 pm
Location: simi valley, ca

Jokes

Postby black bart on Fri Nov 30, 2007 5:47 pm

Harr, harr, harr...keep em comin lads! :D
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby Hippie Pirate on Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:17 pm

I say, so what if they were black, women, or Helen Keller jokes? I tell them all, and if I knew any white jokes besides the one that I know, I would tell them too.

For me, it isn't a matter of who I offend, you can't live life so carefully as to not offend anyone, it is the matter of having a laugh.

I am sure many religious people are offended with the fact you are Pastafarian, could it be that you stereotype religion by mocking it?
Reducing global warming since 1989.

Rev Points at the moment = 4
User avatar
Hippie Pirate
Lumache Lieutenant
 
Posts: 616
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 10:04 pm
Location: Drury University

Welsh

Postby black bart on Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:12 pm

Aye that be right matey...bloody political correctness...as long as no one tells any jokes about Welsh hillbillies! I draw the line at that.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Next

Return to Games, Fun, and Jokes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests